Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023| Reminder 2024]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.2%	[ 800 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	4.9%	[ 135 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.5%	[ 152 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.2%	[ 115 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.1%	[ 276 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.7%	[ 265 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.2%	[ 169 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	3.0%	[ 81 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	27.4%	[ 751 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2744 ]

[smile into the chaos]

El Hombre Nuevo

Vingt cinq

Everything feels terribly, horribly wrong.

[G0MI]

i'm actually getting really attached....

i'm scared because i don't want to be an experiment.
and i don't want you to lose interest because sometimes i get boring.


i'm just scared.
it's rare for me to admit that i'm afraid of anything, but there it is.

i'm trying to be brave but it's so much easier for me to just stop caring.

[tastes like sailor]

I just want to tell everyone, "It's my life, I'll do whatever the ******** I want." But I know that I'll lose people I care about. I know that I'll end up in trouble and not be able to find a way out of it. I know that I'll be even worse off than I am now. But it's just so damn frustrating. People loved me before these things I started doing. Why can't I still be loved now? Have I really changed that much? Why is it that everything I do that makes me feel better has to make other people feel so much worse? Why is everything I do ultimately a mistake, a big ******** up, a horrible addition to my growing track record of "s**t I unknowingly shouldn't have done"?

I just want to be happy like everyone else. Instead, it seems like I'm only really happy when other people are happy with me. So I try to get rid of everything that I actually like, just to make everyone else okay with me, tell me I'm a good person, treat me like there's nothing wrong.

Is that what people like about me? Is that why everyone and their brother came out of the woodwork telling me that they loved me? Do they just instinctively know somehow that I'll bend over backwards all the time just to feel better about myself? That I'll let myself be walked all over and trampled on and used, just to hear a "thank you" or see someone smile in my direction? Do people just somehow KNOW that I can be taken advantage of?

I feel like a slave to humanity. I feel like I'm only here so other people can be happy. I feel like a ******** tool.

[tastes like sailor]

There are only four people that I really love, two of them being my children. Everyone else hears it, but they don't ever know what it really means to me. I do love everyone, I just don't trust them, won't open up to them, would never be romantic with them. I'll give them my all, but they'll get nothing at the same time. But the people that I really love? The people I say it to and mean everything by it? They scare me shitless, because I feel so vulnerable to them, because I know what I mean when I say "I love you" to those people.

They're more capable of hurting me than anyone. And I'm terrified that I'll ******** up so badly one day, that they will hurt me. It may not even be intentional, but the possibility of me getting seriously traumatized is there.

[AlyceSyn]

Give me a hit...

Weren't these feelings supposed to stop? Aren't we supposed to only have eyes for each other?
The people I crush on, you know about them all save for one. And you know that with all of them, it will never happen. I've told you that, and you've heard the situations. I know it's never going to happen, so I feel comfortable with it, as the feelings are gradually shrinking.
But this is scaring me...you're a lot more passionate than I am...a lot more reckless, too. I just need some reassurance that you're not going to leave me. That I'm worrying over nothing, that it's all in my head. Please. I just need to hear it...

...of that intoxicating glow!

[tokyo dolls]

People doubt that I can be seductive/romantic.
I can do it. It just has to be with the right person and in the right setting.

[AlyceSyn]

Give me a hit...

I'm the type of person who, when their family in Sims gets "too happy"[big family, good job, big house, lots of money, friends, etc], I wreck them. I kill off someone, make them get fired, do things to destroy their house, make my sims cheat on each other, anything to mess it up. Problem is, that's what's happening to me in reality. My life is good...too good. All I want is something to be angry over, something to go wrong so not everything is picture-perfect. A perfect world feels worse than one falling apart.

...of that intoxicating glow!

[AlyceSyn]

Give me a hit...

[******** it...I need to just ask you.
I think I know the answer. Or, at least, I hope I know the answer.
But this is driving me crazy.

...of that intoxicating glow!

[Form Abattoir]

Please, try and trust me on this one...

[Form Abattoir]

Oh, and tonight's conclusion:
I need to get to ******** Legoland

[AudacityOnDrugs]

Really?! My cousins pregnant, smoking, and her BFs now in jail for 45 days?

Please tell me we're not sharing the same surname, or that I'm adopted. stressed

[rewind r e w i n d]

holy ********.
i'm going to have to take the plane by myself back home on our trip at the end of the year.
because of college.
and then i'm going to have the house to myself for two weeks.
and aaaaaall the relatives will still be overseas, so there's no one to babysit me.
at the moment it's freaking me the ******** out because right now, i don't have a job, i don't have my p's, and i only just started taking the train by myself this year. planes are just out of the question.

********
this is really going to test my ability to be independent.

[rewind r e w i n d]

i feel like i'd have a better chance just finding a boyfriend with a car, than getting my p's in time for this.
even though i'm about as attractive as a floating piece of s**t in the sewer.

[diseased spirits devoid]

holy s**t i always forget about DLS. basically the place i posted random s**t while i was bored.
with that logic i should still be using this thread constantly.