ℒove ℬribery {Yaoi|Romance o/a}

[Silvanius]

Ikki had blushed and looked elsewhere letting go of Angel’s hands and went to go get his camera. Knowing he had it, he felt more complete than what he had been a few hours or so ago. “You….don’t have to be like that about it. It’s not like I’m buying you a house, it’s a camera—I can afford to do this y’know.”

Could he honestly afford to do it? Who knew since Ikki had no idea how much money Angel got per week or fortnight, all he knew was that Angel could have been saving up for this particular occasion and actually didn’t have a lot in the bank. Was Angel blushing? When was the last time Ikki had seen Angel blush? He thought really hard about that one, it was … never. He had never seen Angel blush like that, or at least he thought he was blushing. He could have been hiding his annoyance to be honest. Why was his chest getting tight when Angel did that? It was like something he had never seen him do before, so it made everything that much meaning behind it all.

He stared at Angel in fascination but then had his name called, while he had been looking at Angel, he couldn’t see the outside world around him, there was only him. He couldn’t see all the people staring at Angel and himself, so when he was called for his camera, it took him a few seconds before he could come back to reality and look away from Angel. Making his way to the counter, Angel had paid for the camera and asked him a question.

“How do you feel? Feel like you’re still missing something?”

He turned to look at Angel and nodded his head, “yeah, it does feel better now that I have a camera, but I still feel pieces of me.... missing somewhere.” He said his face turning into a frown like a dejected pup as he stared at the camera, but he couldn’t place it. Maybe he would think of it later, but right now, his head was pounding like it was going to split his head in two as he held his head and grinded his teeth together to stop the screams of pain that was going to come through the mouth of his so he didn’t cause a scene.

“Haa... haa...” He said after a bit of gritting his teeth to deal with the pain as he leant against Angel, his forehead resting on his shoulder. “Let’s head back to the room,” he said after having his head feel like splitting in two feeling exhausted. He stood back up after a few minutes of leaning on Angel. Had he unconsciously tried to force his memories to come back? No matter, he needed to go lie down, nevermind the food. He just wanted to sleep everything off.

Walking the way back to their room, it was filled with an awkward yet comfortable silence around the both of them, there were hardly people walking around at this hour, so it meant nothing right about now. The less amount of people to see him like this, the better.

When they made it back to their room, Ikki took his boots off as well as socks and sat on the bed, sitting on the bed was probably the worst thing right now, the bed was so comfortable, he wouldn’t be able to get changed into pyjama’s or something and just fall asleep the way he was right now, which was probably a bad idea. Had Ikki had bad ideas in the past? Most likely, but none of that mattered right now to be honest.

He took his shirt off and looked at his muscles, he was lean and muscular, but not overly muscular as he could do well in a fight and he wanted to swim one time, but not right now. Now, he needed to rest more than anything. He’d brush his teeth and shower when he woke up, he really couldn’t be bothered right now. If he put his head on the pillow, he’d be out like a light and he wasn’t sure he wanted to do that right now. But, he needed to exercise more, but sleep was weighing his body down. How long had it been since he had a decent sleep? A few nights, they usually ended with him waking up with a start and gasping for breath. “Hey Angel....” he said, looking at him with a small smile, “thanks.” He said, a yawn slipping past his lips as he took his socks off so his feet could breathe and he placed himself under the blankets, not bothering to change his pants and decided he would change them in the morning.

Nothing wrong with that to be honest as sleep washed over him wave after wave drowning him in sleep.

The next couple of days passed like a breeze, Ikki had unconsciously picked up Photoshop as well as a laptop, not a big one, just something he could use to edit photos while out on vacation. Angel had never seen the process between the photo’s and the finished product what the actual photographer had to go through to edit it and get the correct saturation in the background as well as what other effects were needed.

Taking Angel and his new camera out, he took some photo’s of Angel looking out at the sea like he was deep in thought as well as other poses. The one that got to him the most that made his heart beat rapidly was where Angel had his top buttons open slightly showing a bit of his chest with the sunset in the background and the wind slightly He was looking over his shoulder to the sea like he was being thoughtful, his shirt wasn’t tucked in and had his arms leaning back against the railings. His eyes looked out at the beautiful blue sea, it was a beautiful scene and his posture was all relaxed but still a tiny bit tense.

When they went back to the room, Ikki had gone right to editing the pictures and deleting the crappy ones. “Have you ever seen the process between the before and after shots that make you look so good?” He asked smirking then gave a small chuckle, his face went back to being defensive, why did it go back to that? It felt like he had to keep his guard up around this guy. Like any wrong step and Angel would step all over him, but; he turned his head back to glance at Angel and remembered how he had comforted and given a listening ear all those times that he needed them.

He looked back at the laptop and had a look through the photos there were some good ones, but none as good as the one at sunset. Angel was very photogenic, he made the background for the particular pictures a bit too bright and furrowed his brows biting his pinkie nail, just looking at this picture made him want to throw the laptop down and break it into tiny pieces. Just looking at him made him angry for some reason and it made him confused, why did he feel like that? He cleared that mistake up on the picture, he tried making the background darker and it made it all the more grimmer and gave Angel the effect that he was thinking about something dark and somehow that seemed fitting for the Angel.

Looking at Angel, he sighed then looked at the picture, he wasn’t sure there was anything he needed to fix up on this particular picture, but there had to be. “Sorry if this is boring you. Just trying to figure out what this picture needs. If anything at all...” He rubbed his forehead and tried again giving the picture a paler look, that didn’t look right... He tried again with something else, he wanted to give the picture some impact and make Angel look like a god or in this case.. an actual angel.

He wanted to have people look at Angel in a different light but not as a jerk or pain in the a** some might look at him like. He had tried many other things, but tried bringing out the sunset again and not as much as he had done before and it worked rather splendidly and brilliantly, Angel had never looked as good as he had right now. The white haired photographer tried lightening the skin on Angel but it didn’t look that good, it made him look too bright, he shook his head and tried giving Angel’s skin a translucent feel to it. If he had a proper theme to go off from this would work oh so much more better. “I need to think of a theme next time that way I can get the pictures done better next time.” He said, more to himself more than anything else in the world.

He tried giving Angel’s skin a brighter feel but make it all the more softer which worked. It was all trial and error with all of this to be honest, that’s what photography was about, trial and error to get the good angles and get the good photo’s. Maybe that was why Alan loved his photos, maybe it wasn’t him himself he loved, but the photos which made him love him. He furrowed his brows and shook his head to rid himself of that thought. No, Alan loved HIM, he just didn’t understand why. He wanted to take his frustrations out on something, anything, he needed to scream, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t forget the way he was almost raped. He wanted to move on from that, but somewhere in his mind he couldn’t let that go, just like he couldn’t let go that his only father had left him alone and died to be with the one he loved, even though he had tried so hard to comfort him and be there for him. Obviously his efforts were not good enough to make the pain fade from his heart, if any wounds had faded at all.
He dared not to think on that and looked back at the picture at hand and thought about what else to do to the picture long and hard as he had other pictures to fix anyway. He gave the background of Angel a rainbow and chuckled, he did that for the hell of it, he even chucked a moustache on Angel’s face for good measure. He showed Angel the picture and had a slight chuckle over it, yes, he was having a good laugh at Angel’s expense but it made him feel a bit better so it was worth it.

Okay, back to business, he moved the laptop back and saved the picture for good measure, but then got rid of the rainbow in the background and the moustache then made the edges of the sun slightly softer and then gave Angel a slight hue behind him, that way it made him seem slightly more angelic, a product he wanted. He showed Angel the picture again and looked at him. “How does that look, does that picture look good?” He wondered, asking for approval of Angel, he wanted to know if Angel liked the picture that he had made, “sorry if it seems a bit too nice for you. I have this feeling that you show the world a facade, an outer shell that way they don’t have better expectations of you. I don’t know how I know it, but I know it” he said placing a hand on his heart as a sullen expression and furrowed his brows, “here.” He said finishing his sentence but then confusion swept across his face. “I’m sorry... I don’t know why I said that, it felt... so out of place for me to say it. It feels like I should keep my guard up around you... but why?”

He ran his hand through his hair and shook that feeling off of his shoulders and off of his head. He stayed up and waited to hear if Angel would say anything. He gave Angel the finished picture and stayed up for a few extra hours and got something to eat seeing as he had nothing to eat the night before, then stayed up for a few more hours and had a shower coming out with no shirt on, his hair hanging around his face still slightly wet and had a pair of slacks on as the drops went down his slightly defined abs, he couldn’t be bothered drying his hair properly, not like he didn’t have a good immune system, he was brought up in England where it got awfully cold at nights and you had to have a heater in your room to keep you warm so this was nothing right about now. He crawled onto the bed and just laid there looking at the wall, he wondered if he should even say the dreaded lines that he dared not speak. His back facing the older male, he proceeded to ask the question.

“Angel, do you love me?”

It was such a naive and stupid question, of course no one loved Axel, he was far too broken and no one knew how to put the pieces back together on him, but he had dared ask the question to Angel. How stupid and careless. His mind felt like it was splitting again as he sat up and gripped his hair, his mind flashing through all the fights they had at each shoot and when they met up each time in public. Even how he had met Angel that fateful day, but not how he had ended up with Angel in a relationship. That still remained a mystery to even him.
“Nevermind... Forget I said anything..” He said holding his head tighter, his breathing heavy as sweat beaded on his brow again.

‘”Why the hell are you asking such a stupid question Angel?”

“Mind your own business Angel, what the hell gives you the right to ask anything of me?”

“I hate you so much right now.”

“Go die in a ditch somewhere.”

“You have no idea how much I want to strangle you right now.”

“Get off your damn high horse and stop acting like a total jerk!”

“The world doesn’t revolve around you Angel”

“Stop parading yourself around just do this.. I hate you already, stop making my life even worse.”

“How worse can it get?”

“Stop being a jerk and quit asking that question.”’

He stopped gripping his head and got up off of the bed and leaned against the wall breathing heavily still. He was torn, all those fights and how Angel was acting right now was completely different, they never saw eye to eye and Ikki always hated him no matter what. They were always at each other’s throat no matter the situation, but what had started it?
It was probably Angel’s unwillingness to co-operate or anything like that and Ikki’s dislike of jerks and everything in between since he had run into many on his journey through life. They treated him all the same which was why he needed to keep his guard up. “This would be so much more easier if you just kept treating me like you always did. I would continue on hating you without seeing a nice side of you and feel so torn about continuing to hate you with every part of my being... I still feel somewhat empty......” he said, holding his heart looking at the floor. Why had he told Angel all of that? He had left himself oh so vulnerable in his presence and it unsettled him somewhat, what if Angel used all this information that he had said against him and stepped all over him. He could do that, give him a reason to be normal and guarded again. He could close off his heart again, that would be easy to be honest. All this thinking was getting him nowhere, all it was doing was just putting him on edge and not able to sleep at all.

He furrowed his brows and leant against the wall even further, he felt so exhausted and rubbed his forehead, he wanted to sleep, but sleep wasn’t coming as easy as he would like it like so many times before.

Somehow when he wasn’t thinking about it, he fell asleep leaning against the wall.
When he awoke, he was on the bed and Angel had already left, he was already alone and things would be better this way. He got changed into a skin tight singlet with a pair of jeans and boots then went to the front deck where he saw long black locks.

He had seen that figure before, he moved up to it with his camera and took a photo of him. Moving closer he looked at his face, he looked at the camera he had on his neck and recognized it almost immediately, “that camera... we bought it together...” He said without much thought and then looked at the face of the person. “You’re Loren aren’t you?” He asked looking at his face, he reached out to touch the camera and a fond smile stretched across his face.

“You have this camera after all this time, I would’ve thought you would’ve gotten rid of it.” He said absently stroking it, his thoughtful gaze wavered a bit. “What did I do with you?” He furrowed his brow thinking hard, but only glimpses of taking pictures came up in his mind. “Say... what did I used to teach you about?” He put a camera up and took a picture of Loren’s face and a cheeky smile spread across his face, it was just like when he had all his memories intact.

He wondered what Loren would say, oh he forgot to say his name, how rude of him, “Sorry, forgot my manners... I’m Ikki.” It was like the first time they had actually met, he had forgotten to say his name until they were about to leave.

Sariyanna