Critiques for all, Originals Week 24

[2_twins in a ball]

[K!ng]

Entry by [K!ng]

Title: Ignition



Description:

This avatar is meant to represent the fraction of a second it takes for a fire to ignite into existence. Sometimes it's because of a chemical reaction, an electric spark, or even simple friction. But no matter the cause, nothing remains exactly the same once touched by a flame.

This was one I thought would do well, but instead just flopped.
Any advice or insight as to why that might be?
Honesty is the best policy! mrgreen
Number rate: No thanks

If we were to see this entry as a whole, there's stunning accents of abstract art, where the flames and blue rays engulf a fairy-like spirit. In the background, the devilish silhouette could be seen as a symbol or perhaps the "shadow" of the fairy. Overall, the color contrast helps this avi stand out even more but then there's that glaring sword in the middle... (I recognize it's purpose but it might have been better to use a handheld fireball/match/round ball) One of the first things to catch my eye was not the fact that your entry looked hellishly abstract but the fact that there was a firey blob (reminding me of a certain transformation sequence). At first, I wasn't too big a fan of the horns either but after realizing it coordinated with the fire and created movement, it didn't look as distracting. Even as I look at it, that particular rightmost horn doesn't bend in the right direction (but neither does the Nightmare coat). I myself have tried making things abstract (without backgrounds) and typically voters don't stay long enough to dissect and pick out the details. Of course, not all voters stick with their first impressions.

[Utopia]

Just a reminder - two more entry slots are open till midnight, Gaia time. You're also welcome to send me your entries for next week!
And please feel free to give a critique even if you didn't submit anything!

[2_twins in a ball]

Cecilia Davidson

Entry by Cecilia Davidson

Title: Sorceress



Description:

With some slight influence from the cartoons I watched when I was a kid, I made this. I thought it was cool and figured "why not just put it in the all tab?"

I would like to get tips on: adapting this into other color schemes
Number rate: Yes, please

It's a lazy move but adapting your entry with sets is one way. Jk, I'd veer away from primary colors and try aiming for red variants (such as purple/plum/magenta) and contrast colors (such as spring/forest green). The skirt and sash's recolors can definitely be implemented. As for the sleeves, layering a vest over both the white wool tee and Eloquent tunics create a medieval-ish sorceress. I would have preferred the sorceress casting her spell while kneeling but casting magic upright isn't a violation.

I'd rate this 4/5 not because the sparkles make me wonder what sort of spell the sorceress is casting but because I would've liked seeing more gold along the neck (perhaps from Rajikumari Velvetine/neck ribbons/necklace/pendant) and top (along her hair, perhaps an Elven circlet/Milk Quartz headband/Fading Ember). My pattern-philes kick in...

[Ariel Yardena Davidson]

oh i'm loving these! i just need to tinker when i have brain xP

[2_twins in a ball]

"Fear my walls of text."
I'm no blogger but there's more to a pocket of thoughts to pack in a critique (that is, if I can find the right vocabulary...) Gotta hand it to the critiquers of the past- they've really helped me formulate my thoughts better (and avoid clique at the same time- huzzah! ['<']/ )

PS: Are we allowed to critique more than three entries? (I'm not being pompous just curious)

[2_twins in a ball]

Utopia

Entry by Utopia

Title: Djinn Magician



Description:

The djinn dwelt languidly
for one thousand and one nights
amongst smokeless, scorching embers
inside the plundered lamp,
camouflaged, despite the
wombish phosphorescence
conflagrant in the belly of the
tarnished receptacle
and the djinn’s garish bejeweled costume.

I would like to get tips on: nothing special
Number rate: yes please

I have to admit- the dijinn magician is pretty cute, especially with those Ashigae eyes. The skin color choice is a plus for character, assuming we're talking about mystical and fantasy-geared dijinn. I would've preferred a Will-o-Wisp mod and an amulet (Rajikumari Velvetine has a texture that complements with the tropical top. You can also settle with a Refreshing Lemon/Grapefruit swimsuit) I don't have many suggestions to add more blue, but if you were create character motion, raise the wand and insert Arcanic/Mystic Circle in the back. The Romantic/Joyful/Somber Dreams set also gives off the impression of a lamp. Overall, the simplicity allows individual poses to stand out and work together towards a "magician" look.

I would rate it 3/5, given the creative use of the background and appealing "djinn" look however there is somewhat a lack of union of the individual poses themselves that might hurt the creativity of the outfit. Imo, it is cute and thematically well-done but doesn't warrant a "wow/memorable" factor.

[Utopia]

2_twins in a ball

PS: Are we allowed to critique more than three entries? (I'm not being pompous just curious)

Absolutely, you can critique all you want!
And thank you for the detailed review biggrin !

[Utopia]

Submission for this week is closed.

2_twins in a ball

Entry by 2_twins in a ball

Title: Madame Chouki's Robust Revive



Description:

Come one, come all! Madame Chouki's fruity, smoothie-like concoction will rejuvenate your senses! Sold bottled with a familiar rubber cap, this ailment leaves no face unglamorous! Madame Chouki herself is eccentric but no more than the secret recipe behind her potion. Why not have a taste-test today?

I would like to get tips on: Color scheme, "Outfit" worthy? (in terms of layering and "completeness" wink
Number rate: Yes!

This is the sort of avatar that I always have problems with, so that I have nothing but respect for people who can pull them off 3nodding . This one looks really tasty, you mixed a few shades of different colours, but as its some blobs there, some there, it still flows without clashing.
Only the bottom half sticks out a bit, especially the legs. Maybe a longer skirt would have been better? Or another combination of higher boots, socks and leggings? An overskirt? A spot of that green colour the top uses would have been nice, too.
Sorry I don't have any concrete item ideas, this really isn't my forte sweatdrop .
I'd give this 4/5.

[Utopia]

[K!ng]

AKB0048

Just a friendly reminder: please don't forget to critique at least three other entries, thank you!

[[K!ng]]

Cecilia Davidson

Entry by Cecilia Davidson

Title: Sorceress



Description:

With some slight influence from the cartoons I watched when I was a kid, I made this. I thought it was cool and figured "why not just put it in the all tab?"

I would like to get tips on: adapting this into other color schemes
Number rate: Yes, please

Other color schemes...
Well when given reds and yellows, adding orange is always something to consider.
I feel it helps blend the overall better when using colors that are close to each other.
But then there is also the option of adding something eye catching with flare.
Like a bright purple or green to help ensnare the attention of those voting.

Another thing to consider is skin tone.
I notice bright colors when they are put on a base with a darker skin tone.
(Kind of why mine is always the darkest tone, to help with contrast)

The red shoes don't look quite red enough to me btw...
Kind of faded compared to your other vibrant reds.
I'm sure there are other red heels that would suit this better. =)

Overall I'd say 7/10

[[K!ng]]

Utopia

Entry by Utopia

Title: Djinn Magician



Description:

The djinn dwelt languidly
for one thousand and one nights
amongst smokeless, scorching embers
inside the plundered lamp,
camouflaged, despite the
wombish phosphorescence
conflagrant in the belly of the
tarnished receptacle
and the djinn’s garish bejeweled costume.

I would like to get tips on: nothing special
Number rate: yes please

Hmm... well I can understand it.
But upon first read the description may be too intense on the vocabulary.
I'd "dumb it down" to ensure there is no miscommunication.

The style of the avatar is great though.
It all comes together nicely without anything standing out awkwardly.
The hat is the only thing I'd probably try to find an alternative for though.
The colors of it are there and they blend, but it is kinda ginormous. lol
Though I get the feeling the hat was one of the first items that was equipped when building this. x)

EDIT: Number rate! Nearly forgot. =)
8/10

[[K!ng]]

2_twins in a ball

Entry by 2_twins in a ball

Title: Madame Chouki's Robust Revive



Description:

Come one, come all! Madame Chouki's fruity, smoothie-like concoction will rejuvenate your senses! Sold bottled with a familiar rubber cap, this ailment leaves no face unglamorous! Madame Chouki herself is eccentric but no more than the secret recipe behind her potion. Why not have a taste-test today?

I would like to get tips on: Color scheme, "Outfit" worthy? (in terms of layering and "completeness" wink
Number rate: Yes!

Hmm... I'm not really feeling the red striped hat thing.
Not feeling the bright white forehead star either.
The rest of the outfit all seems pretty cohesive besides those two things.
The description helps accept that FACE... lol... love it.

The head and torso are both intricate with choppy details while the leg details are more smooth and blendy.


I see some good things in here I just think there are maybe 3 avatars that could be produced from this in different directions. 3nodding


I can't give this higher than a 4/10
I'm personally a fan of your avatars but this one just doesn't do it for me. gonk heart

[Ariel Yardena Davidson]

-a lot of good crits in this thread, not just of my own-

Honestly, i'm scared of putting up my more realistic ones but K!ng's advice is giving me ideas to work with later.

[Utopia]

And a bit more nagging because I'll only have my mobile over the weekend xd :

AKB0048

- you still got three critiques to go.

Cecilia Davidson

- and two for you.

If you can't do this till Sunday it's fine to do it next week, just please let us know - thank you!

[Ariel Yardena Davidson]

[K!ng]

Entry by [K!ng]

Title: Ignition



Description:

This avatar is meant to represent the fraction of a second it takes for a fire to ignite into existence. Sometimes it's because of a chemical reaction, an electric spark, or even simple friction. But no matter the cause, nothing remains exactly the same once touched by a flame.

This was one I thought would do well, but instead just flopped.
Any advice or insight as to why that might be?
Honesty is the best policy! mrgreen
Number rate: No thanks

I'm giving this a 6/10
I think the reason WHY it flopped is because the color scheme may have been a little too ambitious. I feel like I get the idea, but the contrast is just off. Yes, you were going for fire, but I didn't get that until I saw the description. The construction was a good attempt, but it feels like there were some items added in that were just a little too much and it only made it look more like a clutter-tar than intended. Ultimately, this flopped because too much was going on.

Like I said - ambitious, but not a good mix for aesthetics.