Not much to really say about myself except that I'm a pretty nice person, easy to get along with. I play bass guitar and write songs. I've been writing songs for about 5-6 years and I've been playing bass for about 4 years now. I write stories and poems. I play sports and I used to take martial arts but I don't anymore...kind of miss it. That's all I'm going to really say right now.
I know you won't see this for a long time, maybe ever but thsi is going too help me and since you won't see it you won't get mad hopefully. I love you so much Kristin, god I miss you...I've been having awful and terrible nightmares. I am trying soo hard to be your friend and not think of us as boyfriend and girlfriend but after all we have been through, it's hard for me too act as if I was never planning on marrying you. I do mss you and felt like I have taken advantage of you and lost you for the final time. I would give anything too have you back baby, I would literally go to hell and back just to prove how much I love you. The most painful part about this is, you don't wear your ring anymore even though you said you would because of what it meant. It made me feel like you still believed in us but now...I see maybe this will either never happen again or not for a LOOONG time. I can't live in a world without you, I meant everything I told you and I still want to marry you one day and have children with you. I know this isn't your plan anymore and you need too figure yourself out, but please do not make me promise these things again unless you mean it. Or do not promise me things unless you mean it, plans change but that is no excuse to bring up my hopes for a bright future and then take it all back because of uncertainty. PLease do no get mad at this message, I just need to get this out again...because I can't talk too you about this kind of stuff. I found why I my stomach is hurting so much, remember what happens when someone who is totally in love with someone else loses them? They feel like dieing, they hurt physically and cannot eat, can't sleep, can't do even the simplest things without being reminded of there lost love. That's true love, that is what I had with you...I miss it so much and I pray and wish with all my heart that one day, you will come back too me. Kristin...I don't know what too do...I feel so helpless and alone without you. I just need you Kristin, I don't want you I NEEED you, you make the world around me so much brighter and wonderful. Your love for me was so strong at one time I could honestly feel it, I miss that feeling I miss you Kristin. I know you said happy memories help you get through whatever it is you are getting through. MY ONLY real happy memories end in tragedy. Especially the ones of you, they all make me so happy yet they hurt me in the process. BEcause when I think of you, I want to call you and see you and listen to you talk and say how much I love you and just simply love you. I hate how I am not enough and that this realy is my fault, I just wish we could've worked through it and stayed together that day on mothers day. I was so happy with you and willing to just forget it all and start anew...I hope we can do that again someday. I still want to marry you and have children with you, please tell me you still want that too. So I atleast have some hope for the future, because you are all I want and all I need...
smile That makes me feel good too hear. I was trying too prove too you that not all men are assholes, there are still some good one's out there.
Hell back when you where touching me and my tattoo's for the first time I almost quivered. Since it had been a long time since a girl had touched me and one soo attractive was, she was admiring my tattoos. I just loved how you where tracing them and touching me, it was heavenly. ^_^
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I love you so much Jelly
Joshua.
http://propagandamatrix.com/forum/index.php/topic,7449.msg20560/boardseen.html#new
I just enjoyed the touching since it felt nice, I seriously thought I quivered. XD
Hell back when you where touching me and my tattoo's for the first time I almost quivered. Since it had been a long time since a girl had touched me and one soo attractive was, she was admiring my tattoos. I just loved how you where tracing them and touching me, it was heavenly. ^_^