these are my real life bffs!!!
these are cute and totally sweet guys but are only my friends
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
When you work here, you can name your own salary. I named mine, "Skimpy".
The statement below is true. The statement above is false.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church.
A new supermarket opened here in Williamston. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay. In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies. I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
STAY ALERT! They walk among us... And the scary part is that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE !!!
TICK WARNING! I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, but this one is real, and it's important. Please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list. If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid...
COMEDIC PHRASES THAT WAY ->
A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle. Girl: Slow down, i'm scared. Guy: No, this is fun. Girl:No it's not, please, it's so scary. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, slow down. Guy: Now give me a big hug *She gave him a big hug* Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, It's really bothering me. The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure.Two people were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the breaks weren't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live, even if it meant that he would die. If you would do the same for the person you love, copy this in your profile
PLZ! READ THE FOLLOWIN MESSAGE!
white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir....when I was born I was BLACK " "When I grew up I was BLACK, " "When I'm sick I'm BLACK, " "When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, " "When I'm cold I'm BLACK, " "When I die I'll be BLACK." "But you sir." "When you are born you're PINK". "When you grow up you're WHITE, " "When you're sick, you're GREEN, " "When you go in the sun you turn RED, " "When you're cold you turn BLUE, " "And when you die you turn PURPLE. "And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.. Put this on your page if you HATE racism !
even a genius can run into a wall or trip goin up da stairs. so im a genius well half way ther-ok any way i also somehow trip over flat sufaces and some how ran into the a couple times