About

Most of this was found on 100-percent-harry-potter-obsessed's page-

Classic: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Twists:

Life likes to chuck lemons at me.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and tell them to make there own lemonade.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, throw them out the window and ask for the chocolate.

When life gives you lemons, find someone who's life gives them vodka. Then party. (Courtesy of Ronit).

When life gives you lemons, tell life you don't want them and give them back.

When life gives you lemons, sell them on E-Bay! You'll make a good profit.

When life gives you lemons, politely hand them back and say you wanted limes, anyway. (Thanks Moony8193).

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and then throw it in the face of the guy who gave you lemons when you asked for oranges."

"When life gives you limes, ask for lemons and then squirt them in people's eyes."

"When life gives you lemons...wait for it...wait for it...squirt it in someone's eyes and run like hell!"


These I found in other places, or made them up-

~**~ Favorite Quotes ~**~

You're only young once... you can be immature forever.

I can please only one person a day, and today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either.

My mind works like lightning... one brilliant flash and it's gone.

Me and the people in my head voted...the result was unanimous...We ALL hate you

Death is life's way of telling you - you're fired.

You have the right to remain silent...anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Never go to bed angry... stay up and plot your revenge.

If it weren't for physics, and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.

I'm not good at empathy, will you settle for sarcasm?

Tell me, where is this brightside you speak of?

Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter accusations.

Someone told me to get a life, but I'm not sure where to download that from.

It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys.

Warning: The above post may contain sarcasm.

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.

Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.

Question authority and the Authorities will question you.

Quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who never quit AND never win are idiots

I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

Today is tomorrow's yesterday...Does that mean today is yesterday's tomorrow too? @-@ weird...

I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious issues.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I don't need your attitude, I have one of my own.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

You are my friend and I'll always be there for you. When you cry, I cry, when you laugh, I laugh. When you jump off a cliff, I laugh harder.

You're just jealous because the voices only speak to me.

Never go to bed angry... stay up and plot your revenge.

Come to the dark side.. we have cookies.

i became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity*~ E. A. Poe

No,no, no, when i say 'What is our goal?' we say Victory!

"I'm not crazy I'm just insane."

"I don't have problems just issues."

"Death gives us sleep, eternal youth, and immortality. where was all of that when I was alive.'

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. Its just the transition that is troublesome."

"Sometimes when instructions say to NOT do something, they really mean it."

"Tell me did it hurt when you fell out of heaven my angel?
"No but I wish I had gone straight to hell and landed on the devil. Do you know people say hes a hottie?"

"Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life. So lets get wasted and have the time of our lives."

"Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you,
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowls empty,and so is your head."

"I know Kung Fu, Karate, and 47 other dangerous words."

"If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?"

"Follow your dreams!...Except the one where you are at school in your underwear.."

"Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver."

"Warning:Trespassers will be shot. Warning: Survivors will be shot again."

"I'm out of bed and dressed what MORE do you want?

"I'm out of my mind. Please leave a message."

People are slinkys. Useless. But amusing to watch fall down the stairs."

"Men are like stuffed animals, all they do is decorate the bed."

"Hey your village called, they want their idiot back."

"Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes. So when you do insult them you're a mile away and you got a free pair of shoes."

Your friends always stab you in the back, but TRUE friends stab you in the front.

"People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual."

"Good girls are just bad girls that don't get caught."

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off."

"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move the body"

"FAMOUS LAST WORDS: That’s funny, I remember seeing somebody who looks just like you on Americas Most Wanted..."

"Mess with me and I will get a knife, cut off your p***s and feed it to the dogs. Got it?" ~off of Angel of Deceit's profile

"Knowledge is power and all power corrupts. Study hard – be evil."

"That's pointless, dangerous and stupid... We jump on three right?"

"Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was 'Oh no, not again'. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that, we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now."

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice!"

"If you're gonna be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty"

"I've got A.D.D. and magic markers...oh the thrills i will have!"

"You can’t cheat Death forever, but you can make the b*****d work for it."

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors,
but there's no way Paper can beat Rock.
Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" Rock, leaving it immobile?
Why the heck can't paper do this to scissors?
Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people?
Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly
suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody.
A rock would tear that up in about 2 seconds.
When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock.
Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper
I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say,
'Oh crap, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you'"

"I did NOT steal it! I'm, uh, Permanently Borrowing it! Yeah! That's it!"

"Why be difficult, when, with a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?"

"Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now."

"Keep honking, I'm reloading."

"If it doesn't fit, force it, if it breaks, it needed replacing anyways."

"Sarcasm is one more service we offer."

"Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" - R.D. Lang

"Hey! I just had a great idea!"
"Yeah, the first one's always exciting, isn't it?"

"Why do I get the feeling that one day I'll be describing this to a psychiatrist?

"You're like an ugly singer with a good voice: best for backup!"

"That analogy reminds me of a clam I once tried to pry open when I went to the beach with my mother. I tugged and tugged, finally breaking part of its shell. It was then when I fully understood how much clams dislike having their shells broken. I remember it peeking out that tongue like body and looked around, and when it spotted me, it rather lunged. Of course, my chubby legs couldn't outrun this amazing clam, and it leaped up to chomp on my ear. Quite hard. My mom heard me screaming, and came to pry it off, but even she could not pry it off, so we had to cut our visit short to get the doctor. I had needed a tetanus shot, and the evil clam had to be put to sleep before it could be tugged off. I remember my satisfaction at seeing the needle penetrate it's fragile, evil body; hearing it's last breath… 'You…will…pay…'"

"Three wise women would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, brought a casserole, given practical gifts, and helped clean the stable. Then there would be peace on earth."

"I used to have superpowers, but my therapist took them away."

"My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't."

"Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them."

"I used to have a handle on life, but it broke."

"Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive."

"You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me."

"Earth is the insane asylum for the universe."

"I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing."

"God must love stupid people; He made so many."

"Procrastinate Now!"

"They call it PMS because 'mad cow disease' was already taken."

"Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig."

"The newscaster is the guy who says 'good evening' and then tells you why it isn't."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car."

"If you can keep your head when all those about you are loosing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation."

"When things are going badly, they will get worse. When things are as bad as they can possibly get, the impossible will happen. And when things appear to be getting better, you have probably overlooked something."

"STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk that desperately deserves it."

"They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?"

"I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down."

"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't know how to spell anonymous"

"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose."

"Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her a**."

"It takes 42 muscles to smile; so instead pick up your middle finger and say bite me in a bitchy tone!"

"A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be somewhere else"

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

"I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died."

"As you slide down the banister of life, may your a** collect many splinters."

"One day your prince will come; mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions."

"Silence is Golden, but shouting is fun."

"Anybody here who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand."

"My favorite word starts with F and ends in UCK my favorite word is Firetruck what did you think I'd say."

"The glass is neither half empty nor half full, it's twice as large as it needs to be."

"I am not short! ...I'm vertically challenged."

"Men are nice, but I do not need one. Kind of like an electric can opener."

"We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and that annoys me."

"If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song."

"If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they're thinking, you can throw a real hand grenade at them."

"No one gave you permission to die! You got hit by a car! Strong people live through that!" Atsuko

"I don't want you to think I'm weird or anything, but please, just kiss me!" Yusuke

Kurama: All this time we thought you were a brilliant strategist. In reality, you're just a lucky fool.
Yusuke: Hey! What's a strategist?
Kurama: It's someone who uses his brain.
Yusuke: Hey!

Kuwabara: It smells girly. I don't think I like it
Yusuke: Oh sure, and be a tough guy like you and be obsessed with kittens!

Kuwabara: What if he loses and we get booted from the tournament?
Hiei: If that happens all we have to do is kill everyone else on the boat before we reach the island. We'll say we're the right team and no one will complain.
Kuwabara: You didn't have too many friends growing up, did you?

Kuwabara: That is unbelievable. I mean I can't believe we missed the entire fight just because I took a couple extra minutes to brush my teeth.
Kurama: It was an impressive sight to behold.
Hiei: Although I'm sure your minty fresh breath was well worth it...What is that ridiculous appendage growing out of your head?
Yusuke:I don't want to talk about it.

Hiei: If you have any noble plan to stop me...I suggest you write your will.

Hiei: Maybe you dont understand the concept of a force field!

Hiei: So let's kill him again!

Hiei: Kurama, there is no one that doesn't carry scars on thier hearts, if there was someone like that he'll be a shallow b*****d.

Genkai : "If you had used that lump three feet above your a**, you still might've had your soul. (Turns to Hiei) Make that two feet for you."

Kurama: "Nerd violence..."

Hiei: "This wind coming in feels like home. It's comforting and it soothes me. It tastes like freshly spilled blood on the rotting flesh of decaying corpses."

Hiei: "I know I'm a short target, but this is sad..."

Hiei: "Ninjas are revolting. They stole my idea. I have to go kill them now."

Hiei: "I can't just watch you get killed in front of me."
Kurama: "Okay then...go somewhere else."

Botan: "This is my impression of Yusuke: Look at me, I'm burning!"

Botan: "Too bad Hiei's not here--we could use his Jagan eye to find himself. Oh, wait. (Sweatdrop)"

Hiei: Now I see. You're a descent fighter on your own but when your friend's on the line your power increases greatly. You're a team player a save the day super hero...I hate people like you.

Hiei: Your aim is as broad as your ax. Can you at least try to hit me next time?

Hiei: And that was with my left arm.
Kurama: I'm sorry. I'll use my left arm next time to make it fair.

Kurama: And to think they could someday be in-laws.

Kurama: After all the explosions, this is what wakes him.

Kuwabara: I can't even see myself think.

Hiei: I know as much of games as I do of hugs and puppies, and care even less. Wake me for the end of the world.

"I thought I was crazy, Urameshi, but you'll take the prize. The hell was that? You don't make bombs go boom in your face!" - Jin

"In other words, you're death was a complete and utter waste." - Botan

"...like phosphorescent...bread crumbs." Kurama

"Guy saves the world, still has to do algebra...Makes sense."-Yusuke

"Hey I just got back from Grandma's evil boot camp, don't you think I need a vacation?"-Yusuke

"…and then you're all paranoid: we're all gonna die, don't drink the water, there's anthrax in my bagel…" Luke

Red: "Eric, bad things don't happen to you because you're bad luck. Bad things happen to you because you're a dumbass."

"I don't really want to share my feelings. I don't think I have feelings." Red

"In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer?"

" I break for no apparent reason."

" I break for...OH s**t! NO BREAKS!"

Binx and I: "Doom on you! Doom on you!"

Me: "I see breathing people"
Binx: "AAHHHHHH!"

Me:"Chickens are evil aliens from Planet X bent on world domination"

Me: "I don't trust my sanity."
Lauren (a friend): "Who does?"

Me:"What if we're all just the figments of someone's imagination?"
Steff (a friend): "...Then I fear for the sanity of that person."

Me: "I'm surrounded by idiots!"

Me: "It should be illegal to go to school this early."

Me (to my mom): "Insanity runs in the family."

Me: "They're like little midgets running around in circles!"

Me: "Hey! There are cracks in the ceiling!"

Me: "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most"

Me: "I like cheese."
Steff: "...I'm sure you do."

Rising Pheonix: "FREE THE ANIMALS AND SAVE THE TREES!"

SpiritualEnergy: "I know this place like the back of my hand (looks at back of hand) WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

Chichiro Ketsueki: "Insane? Me?" She grinned again, then cackled strangely. "Of course I'm insane! It's what makes life complete bliss!"

Kai-Dranzer: "Did anybody get the number of the bus that just hit me?" she muttered to no one in particular. "'Cause I swear I'm gonna sue..."

Icy Pheonix: "Oh my god. Florida is really, really bright. This is why old people start to lose their sight. They all go to Florida and burn their eyes out."

BattleStations (talking about Botan): "I don't like her." Enzeru stated plainly. "She has the essence of a creepy clown that never stops smiling." She added turning away from the door. "….even when it's killing all of the carnies at night." She added with slightly larger then normal eyes.

BattleStations (talking about a squirrle): "You kill it?" Enzeru asked as Kurai leveled with her pace.
"No, it's all twitchy and stuff. I think I gave it brain damage." She answered seriously.

Kurome Shiretsu (Genkai talking about Yusuke): "It was a fact of life: the Dimwit could be locked away in a padded cell somewhere, and he would find SOME way to become entangled in a life-or-death fight that would save or destroy all Ningenkai."

Icy Pheonix: Yugi gritted his teeth and the forehead lines deepened. "Oh no." He muttered. It was his favorite saying. It made him feel sexy.

Chichiro Ketsueki: "I rather like you, Ketsueki," Spike admitted, starting to walk toward the forest. "I'll have to take extra care to be sure my soldiers refrain from harming you."
I blinked. To me, that sounded like some really, really strange form of flirting. I chose to believe it was my imagination and followed him."

BattleStations: "I was pretty much exhausted after I battled the evil forces hiding out in Naruto's kitchen..."

BattleStations (Kurai talking to Kurama): "For all I know your leading us all to certain doom because your secretly an evil mad scientist guy that experiments with DNA splicing to combine demons and farm animals."

(BlackWindKaze)Orochimaru: "Why must you always interfere?"
Kaze: "Because I like annoying people. It makes me feel cool."

BattleStations: "I can make you explode." Kurai said in all seriousness. "Right." Yusuke told her, mentally remembering to stay away from her in dark allies.

Kraken's Ghost: They'd both saved each others lives by using the time honored method of 'Jump In Front of the Sharp, Pointy Thing Coming at My Friend.'

AnimeDarkside: "Cool. It's nice to know you're not running around in rags anymore. Kinda creepy, in a ***** way."

Steff: "I can throw a rock! I might now be able to hit you, but I can throw it!"

Steff: "Shut up or my pen will inbed yourself in its ear!"
Me:"..."
Steff: "...Er...nevermind..."

Steff: "Death by tampon."

Steff: "I wish I had a floating rock."

Me: "Hah! He's legless!"
Steff: "Heh, it's like the Legless guy from Lord of the Rings" (meaning Legolas)

Tiffany (a friend): "It's fun to bang your head on the wall."

Mrs. Farinelli (my teacher): "Boys are..."
Lauren: "Stupid."
Mrs. Farinelli: "No, just...less intelligent."

Lauren: "I like to sing about my brains and my brains like to sing about me!"
Me: "Why don't you just sing in your head?"
Lauren: "I don't know how. My brain is..."
Me: "Empty?"
Lauren: "No, just filled with Mountain Dew!"

Me: "You can't just stop breathing."
Steff: "Yes you can, you just have to face the consequences"
Me: "Namely dieing."
Steff: "Yep."

Steff: "...Well someone got bored."
Duncan (a guy in my class): "...Well someone needs a life."

Steff: "Oh yeah, I'm hungry. I'm going to eat a lemon."

Art Teacher: "Just throw your clay pot!"
Steff: "I've done that before. I threw it against the wall. It broke."

Steff: "Hi, I'm a turtle. I'm just going to go hide my shell because I'm safe in there...Unless an elephant steps on me...then I'm screwed..."

LiquidDreamLAD: Lucas shrugged, "It's a sports car, I'm required to drive at absurd speeds. I think it's in the manual."

(Rising Pheonix) Dranzer: "What? You now hate people for being smart? Weren't you just-
Kai: Shut UP Dranzer.
Dranzer: Don't be all up in my Kool-Aid then!
Kai: What the ******** is that supposed to mean!
Dranzer: Dunno, I just got it off Bring It On Again.
Kai: Stupid fire turkey.
Dranzer: PHOENIX! P-H-O-E-N-I-X!" -

Teacher: "And guys, one of the these days you'll find a girl who you love and she'll have you baby."
Steff: "It's not his baby. He's just a sperm donner who is allowed to live in the house."

Teacher: "Are you here right now?"
Student: "...I'm guessing I am."

Me: "Death by Girl Scout cookies!"

Steff: "Girl Scout cookies have nicotine or something in them; they're highly addictive."

Me: "Have you ever felt like running in circles, screaming at the top of you lungs? It's fun."

Me: "It's xyq!"
Lauren: "...xyq?"
Me: "...I told you my brain melted!"

Steff: "White is a symbolince of death. Why else would angles wear white? They're dead!"

Steff: "Well, someone's an idiot."

Steff: "Let's have a look at food through the ages. In kindergarten it's 'Food!', in 3rd grade it's 'Hmm, this tastes funny.', in 6th grade it's 'There's a finger in it!'"

Steff: "Hey, look! A person on the wall!" (is talking about a shadow) "Let's add another one! -runs into door- ...Oh wait, that's a door."

Steff: "I'm going to have a little boy and name him Jack Daniels!"
Me: "What if it's a girl?"
Steff: "Then I'll name her Corona!"

Biology teacher (this is a fact!): "They gave him the antidote to Riddlin, which is called Riddlout."

Me: "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. If you can't join 'em, kill 'em!"

Steff: "Have you ever chased a chicken? When you focus on that chicken, you don't see anything else. That's why I ran into the pond. And then I ran into the barn. That hurt. But that chicken was good eat'n!"

Steff: "Have you ever seen a cow with hemroids?"
Me: "...-twitch- Bad! Bad mental images!"

Steff: "If you ever hear about men and their 'problems', it probably has something to do with their 'second brain'."

Steff: "Do you have problems?"
Me: "Yes. Many. Where should I begin?"
Steff: "In the beginning."
Me: "In the beginning there was darkness, and then God said 'Let there be light' and it was shiny!"

Me: "They forced to talk out your differences, didn't they?"
Steff: "No, they just put us in a room with a fat guy and told us not to talk."

Steff: "I remember that this one salad I ate in 3rd grade looked like a donkey. I'll always remember that salad."

Steff: "Lemon juice hurts when you squirt it in your eye!"

Steff: "Eww! Who would put pickles on chocolate cake!"

Me: "Boycott maturity! Play with your food!"

Steff: "I feel special!" Me: "I'm sure you do."

Steff: "You're pretty ... pretty stupid!"
Me: "...Are you feeling alright?"
Steff: "No."

Steff: "Well, now I know what I'm going to be when I grow up: a deluded psychopath who make people out of pickles and then sacrifices them to the Pickle Jar of Doom! Mwuahahaha!"

Steff: "It's a magic pocket! I pulled money and pencils out of it!"

Tiffany: "I learned last night that banging your head on the wall is not a stress reliever"

Tiffany: "What?! Why would you be researching transvestites unless- You know what, I don't want to know. I'm just going to let it go. Let it go."

Me: "What?! Who goes to sleep holding a roll of toilet paper!"
Steff: "Hey! Sometime it comes in handy!"

Steff: "My cat likes to sleep in the dryer because it was warm. Then one day my mom threw some wet clothes into the dryer, not noticing that our cat was in there, and turned the dryer on. Itwas funny because the dryer went, '-thump thump- MREOW -thump thump- MREOW'"
Leah: "O.O Poor cat!"
Steff: "What? He lived."

Me: "Flippy says I still have my sanity."
Steff: "Flippy is lying."

Binx: "Steff you're supposed to control her!"
Steff: "How am I supposed to control that -points to me-?"

Steff: "That March of the Penguins movie was really depressing; all of the penguins kept dying! And it's supposed to be a kid's movie too! All of the little kids were crying and saying 'Why are they dying?' And I'm sitting there going 'Mwuahahaha! Die penguins! Die!'"

Tiffany: "What is your problem?! I'm just sitting here working and you're throwing pictures of old people at me!"

Steff: "Can you imagine the problem that kid who was born in the tiolet is going to have? Someone is going to ask 'So where were you born?' And people will reply 'in Russia', 'in America', 'in China', 'in Canada', 'in the toilet'"

Steff: "I can swallow my tounge! Watch! -hack- -hack- -choke- -gasp- -choke- -die-"

Lauren:"You do not chug Mountain Dew. You sip it gently. Gently. You feel it as it slips down your throat and savor the sweet aroma. Then, you sit for a few moments in reverence for the taste. Then you take another sip and repeat."

Steff: "Normally I trip over other people's feet, but this time I tripped over my own."

Karaoke: "We just burned down half of Konoha forest," Abigail reminded her. "Don't make us start on the village. Because your house will be first."

Chelsee (talking about Sasuke): "Mr. I-Am-Incapable-Of-Being-Pleasant"

Sacred (computer game): "I have a theory that the human brain is a lot like a computer: it can only take so many facts before it overloads and blows up."

Sacred: "The pen is a mightier weapon than the sword. And considerably easier to write with."

Sacred: "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits."

Sacred: "Every time I learn something new, I loose something to make room for it!"

Me: "Okay, think of it this way: flying insects are creepy. Spiders are creepy. Put them together and what do you get? A creepy fly spider frightening enough to make any sane person go running, screaming for their mommies."

Ryushi-the-DutchEroSennin: "Me again? Geez...Truth, I don't want to be even more embarrassed by you guys...Next thing you'll know Tenten will get a bunny suit out of her closet or something..."
"Hey! I actually do have a bunny suit in my closet!" Tenten came to realization and they just stared at her."

(Ryushi-the-DutchEroSennin) Gaara: "I think I'll also reenact Shakespeare's Hamlet with my sand while I'm at it..."

Ryushi-the-DutchEroSennin: Neji looked at his raised fists, "...I've seriously got to find myself some other men than Lee and Gai-sensei to socialize with..."

Dark-Syaoran: "Just great, that's all I need now, a psychotic a*****e running around in my head. Well, I'm psychotic enough on my own, thank you very much!"

Dark-Syaoran: "The way she said Snape's name made Harry smirk inwardly. He could tell that if the traitor ever met Minerva McGonagall again, he'd be likely be turned into some type of rodent and thrown off a cliff."

Dark-Syaoran: "We felt some strong magic out here and I was sent to see what was...happening..." He trailed off as he saw the huge felled tree off to the side of the house in about a million pieces.
"I was a bit angry and my magic decided it didn't like that tree...so, yeah."
Remus started at him as if he had two heads. "Your magic...didn't like the tree..."

IEmB00tz: "It was a pretty strange sight. A demon sitting in a nice normal looking living room, sitting on a couch, watching a TV show about the devil, with the gate way to Hell in the middle of the floor."

IEmB00tz: "Harry didn't have to see their faces to know they were grinning their asses off. So deciding to be the mature one, he flipped them off, and called them douche bags."

SilverLocke980: "Harry, without actually meaning to, had created a legion of fanatically loyal soldiers which consisted of the most dangerous races known to Wizardkind.
Harry thought it marvelously funny."

Hikari Tsubame Phoenix: "It wasn't that bad." Joey weakly said. Mr. Saitoh stared at him. "You burned down the gym

"Oh man, Quatre loves to blame himself for everything if you let him. Sooner or later he'll say there's no air in space because he didn't work on it hard enough." -Duo Maxwell, Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz

Yuusuke: "Tell you what: Give up now, and I'll only rip out ONE of your lungs."
Suzaku: "And if I refuse?"
Yuusuke: "Then hold your stinkin' breath."
(during the Saint Beasts episodes, YYH)

"Kurama’s rose whip must be ten feet long. Where does he stash it? All the ways I can think of sound kind of painful . . ." -Kuwabara to Hiei about Kurama (YYH)

"I thought I was crazy, Urameshi, but ye take th' cake fer tha'! Ye don' make bombs go BOOM in yer face!" -Jin to Yuusuke, after Yuusuke's semi-kamikaze exploding Rei-gun attack during the Dark Tournament (YYH)

"Darn it! Don't DO that! We're still not used to you being at eye-level!" -Yuusuke to Koenma-in-teenager-form after Koenma sneaks up on him. (YYH)

"Kurama, don't make me rip out your precious voice-box." -Hiei (YYH)

"Gah! He really is a fox-thing! . . . and to think I let him near my kitten . . ." -Kuwabara about Youko Kurama (YYH)

"Will you please shut that hole under your nose?" -Richard (Case Closed)

"Is anyone here NOT trying to kill me?" -Lupin (Lupin III)

"Ah, the old 'exploding-bear-trap-in-the-a**' trick." -Goyamon (Lupin III)

"Oh, mommy! Oh, geeze! OH, CRAP!" -Lupin (Lupin III)

"You are SO sleeping in Kurama's room!" -Yuusuke to Hiei, Mission X (Must read in context to fully get the whole of the phrase)

"Lord . . . what the hell am I doing here?" -Wolfwood, Trigun

"I've been dead before, Kurama. Twice. I consider living quite a LOT of fun." –Yuusuke to Kurama, Mission X

“Yuusuke had time for one, crystal-clear, unbelievably profound thought. It was something along the lines of 'That stupid toddler REALLY hates me.'” Mission X

"He was a man of God!"-Preist "Not my God!" Lanselot's reply, from King Aurther.

"Inside every older lady is a younger lady wondering what the hell happened."-Cora Harvey Armstrong-

"Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies."

"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."-Erma Bombeck-

"The phrase "working mother" is redundant."-Jane Sellman-

"Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows."-Jennifer Unlimited-

"Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart."-Caryn Leschen-

"I try to take one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once."-Jennifer Unlimited-

"If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."-Catherine-

"When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!"-Kathy Buckley-

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I'm not dumb and I'm also not blond."-Dolly Parton-

~These following Quotes are not for Guys. Please, if you read these, do so with an open mind.~

"A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't."-Rhonda Hansome-

"Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."-Charlotte Whitton-

"If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them."-Sue Grafton-

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country..."-Elayne Boosler-

"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."-Maryon Pearson-

"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman."-Margaret Thatcher-

"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career."-Gloria Steinem-

"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house."-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

~**~ Favorite Poems ~**~

The Perfect Man

The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love on to you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.
He never has made you cry
Or hurt you in any way
To hell with this endless poem
The perfect man is gay

Daddy

Her hair was up in a ponytail
Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
And she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmate,
Of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school,
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees,
A dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called,
A student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
For a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
Another one dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,
As she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of the child,
Came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories,
He taught me to ride my bike.
he surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him,
I'm not standing here alone.

Cause my daddy's always with me,
Even though we are apart.
I know because he told me,
He'll forever be in my heart."

With that, her little hand reached up,
And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love,
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her.
Doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,
He's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.

You see he was a fireman,
And died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers,
And taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
Like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
And saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close her eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me, Daddy,"
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
By the love of her shining bright star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far.
-Popeye

~*!*~Love, Me~*!*~

I promise, if you'll listen
I'll tell you from the start-
About the pain I'm going through,
That's tearing down my heart...

Just an ordinary day
Just like all the rest,
Another day to fake a smile
And fake "I feel my best..."

My hair was looking perfect,
My attitude was sweet...
A smile I'd give and smile I'd get,
From everyone I'd meet...

My grades were straight as ever,
I was acing every class...
Life was going like it should,
Flying high and fast...

My friends and I were planning
For movies and the mall,
A pizza; Just a girl's night out
But by the time they'd called...

I'd made it to the kitchen
And found this lovely knife...
And wondered if it mattered much
For me to take my life-

And with a simple motion,
A simple teardrop fell,
A simple way appeared to me
Escaping "good girl hell"...

"Tomorrow, I'll be gone from here,
This life I'm made to live...
The things I hate to try to be
And all I just can't give

And tomorrow, who will miss me?
And guess 'bout what went wrong?
'I thought she was a happy girl' and,
'She fooled me all along'"

Yeah, I sure did fool you-
And also fooled myself,
The time I spent hating my life
A doll upon the shelf-

So don't you simply say that I
Gave up too easily,
And I didn't look for ways out,
For some way to be free...
My best friend: I still love you,
And mom, I love you too
And dad, you were my everything...
Even if you never knew-

Sis, don't follow after
The crooked path I chose
And bubba; I'll miss you so much...
The good Lord only knows...

I wrote this for my loved ones,
The ones who couldn't see
The ones who were too blind and deaf
To see, I wasn't me

Goodbye, I really loved you...
But never loved myself-
And put myself through everything,
A living teenage hell...

Don't hate me for the things I've done
For once, just let me be...
Thanks for understanding...

Forever...

Love,
Me

1998 DeeAnne Davis


DOES HEAVEN HAVE A PHONE NUMBER?

Mommy went to Heaven, but I need her here today,
My tummy hurts and I fell down; I need her right away,
Operator, can you tell me how to find her in this book?

Is heaven in the yellow part? I don't know where to look.
I think my daddy needs her too; at night I hear him cry.
I hear him call her name sometimes, but I really don't know why.

Maybe if I call her, she will hurry home to me.
Is Heaven very far away, is it across the sea?
She's been gone a long, long time; she needs to come home now!
I really need to reach her, but I simply don't know how.

Help me find the number please, is it listed under "Heaven"?
I can't read these big, big words; I am only seven.
I'm sorry, operator, I didn't mean to make you cry,
Is your tummy hurting too, or is there something in your eye?

If I call my church maybe they will know.
Mommy said when we need help, that's where we should go.
I found the number to my church tacked up on the wall.
Thank you operator, I'll give them a call.

Sad Poem by Author Unknown


~**~ Lists ~**~


25 Ways To Annoy People

1. Start beeping when a large person backs up
2. Insist that life is just a big musical, then randomly break into song.
3. Sing the Batman song incessantly
4. Cough and sniffle constantly
5. Reply to everything someone says with "that what you think"
6. Ask out 1-800 operators
7. Call everyone in the phone book and ask for Prince Babalama Shamalama Ding Dong
8. Pay for your dinner with nickles
9. Demand that everyone address you as "Captain Hook"
10. Tell everyone that they only exist in your imagination
11. Ask everyone you see what gender they are
12. Honk and wave at strangers
13. Relpy to everyone with "yo mama"
14. Never make eye contact
15. Talk to someone while looking at someone else
16. Buzz constantly
17.Pretend to be drunk
18. Sing the Barbie Girl song over and over again
19. repeat everything someone says
20. Randomly yell "I am the lord of the dance" and start dancing every ten minutes
21. Laugh at everything someone says
22. In the middle of a speak yell the roof is on fire and after everyone has exited the building say April Fool's
23. Copy everything someone says
24. While listening to music sing along and say the wrong words on purpose
25. During a movie yell at the screen