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So yeah here is where I shall write random funny things I've heard and such!
^--^ Enjoy!

'I haven't seen this many strange letters since the last time I placed a Presonal add'

'Save the trees! Wipe your a** with an owl!'

'Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"'

'There will always be a light at the end of the tunnel, just be careful it's not a train'

'I have a photographic memory, I just ran out of film'

'There are plenty more fish in the see but who would want to go out with a fish?'

'I have a short atten- Look a pigeon!'

'Insanity: A perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world'

'A good friend will always bail you out of jail but a great friend will be sitting in the cell next to you saying 'Damn that was awesome!' '

'I lost a game of russian roulette'

'Why did they have to invent sneezing? It's very inconvenient when you're trying to hide!'

'And what did we learn today, children? Violence solves everything'

'Yeouch, I feel like a ton of bricks wrapped in steel bars has just fallen on my head followed by an elephant that has just swallowed a large boulder'

'You may as well believe in reincarnation, after all, you only live once'

'Hey! That trees escaping with our treasure!'

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
Upon further thought (and help from RSoldier) I have come to realise that bullets kill people, not guns x3
And from KitchenMop 'A gun can kill them because you can beat them around the head with it!' xD

'I wish I were you so I could be friends with me'

'I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together.'

'We are all born cold, wet, and hungry... Then things get worse.'

'I am not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 15 years.'

'If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.'

'Give me ten minutes and you’ll never know it was broken!'

'How weird would it be if you were walking along the beach and a hand reached up from the sand and grabbed your leg? '

'If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."'

'I'm just doing what a uranium-coated flounder with chopsticks and a goatee does best!'

'If guys had periods, they'd brag about their tampon size.'

'Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.'

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