That I have ******** up royally in a lot of ways.
A) I got involved in something that I should have stayed out of. It's got nothing to do with me, except that Nolan's my boyfriend. Other than that, nicht.
B) I need to stop talking about things, no matter how they interest me. I mean, I knew there was some reason that I had learned to keep my mouth shut, I'd just forgotten it. So, yeah. Talking is bad. I should avoid it.
C) I should stop bothering people. Irritating them won't get me anywhere, except hated. I don't really want hated, so I'm definitely not gonna be bothering people if I can help it.
D) Something changed, and I think it might have something to do with me. But I don't really know. All I know is that something is different with him and it bothers me so much, because I don't understand it. When you can tell that something changed with him, it's like you're talking to an entirely different person. It kind of worries me. I love him to death, I don't want him to be changing because he thinks it doesn't fit with some image that some part of his world conjured up for him.
E) I touch people too much. I really gotta lay off the physical contact with people. They don't want me touching them all the time. Or hanging on them.
Most of this is probably bullshit on my part, but then parts of it is true. Something really has changed and I did get involved in something I should have stayed out of because, I think I have managed to irritate one or more of the parties actually involved. I'm so confused right now. I feel so messed up. I mean, part of me feels like an a**, part feels like I'm just trying to help, part of me feels like I should just give up, part of me just wants to keep going, and part of me just wishes I could get some sleep. I really want to just talk to the people that are part of the thing that I should have stayed out of. I want to find out what I need to know, and then cordially remove myself from their affairs. I had no desire whatsoever to piss them off, or to irritate them, or to cause them to ignore/not talk to me.
So, I'm off to oblige the part of me that desires sleep, maybe giving the emo parts the benefit of a nice cry. But yeah, I'm going to need some serious R&R when this is all done and over with. Either that or a seriously good lawyer...
ninja
A) I got involved in something that I should have stayed out of. It's got nothing to do with me, except that Nolan's my boyfriend. Other than that, nicht.
B) I need to stop talking about things, no matter how they interest me. I mean, I knew there was some reason that I had learned to keep my mouth shut, I'd just forgotten it. So, yeah. Talking is bad. I should avoid it.
C) I should stop bothering people. Irritating them won't get me anywhere, except hated. I don't really want hated, so I'm definitely not gonna be bothering people if I can help it.
D) Something changed, and I think it might have something to do with me. But I don't really know. All I know is that something is different with him and it bothers me so much, because I don't understand it. When you can tell that something changed with him, it's like you're talking to an entirely different person. It kind of worries me. I love him to death, I don't want him to be changing because he thinks it doesn't fit with some image that some part of his world conjured up for him.
E) I touch people too much. I really gotta lay off the physical contact with people. They don't want me touching them all the time. Or hanging on them.
Most of this is probably bullshit on my part, but then parts of it is true. Something really has changed and I did get involved in something I should have stayed out of because, I think I have managed to irritate one or more of the parties actually involved. I'm so confused right now. I feel so messed up. I mean, part of me feels like an a**, part feels like I'm just trying to help, part of me feels like I should just give up, part of me just wants to keep going, and part of me just wishes I could get some sleep. I really want to just talk to the people that are part of the thing that I should have stayed out of. I want to find out what I need to know, and then cordially remove myself from their affairs. I had no desire whatsoever to piss them off, or to irritate them, or to cause them to ignore/not talk to me.
So, I'm off to oblige the part of me that desires sleep, maybe giving the emo parts the benefit of a nice cry. But yeah, I'm going to need some serious R&R when this is all done and over with. Either that or a seriously good lawyer...
ninja
