It's April now, and it feels like I'm pushing those I love away from me just for this one person! I can't take this anymore!! I wanna know what happened!! I need to know! It's makin my head hurt, tryin to hold in my tears! I can't even look at my boyfriend without havin a concerned look on my face, let alone it looks like an evil face of "I don't give a ********!". I can't look at him the way I use to! And I take his "jokes" too seriously, like he has no love fo me no more! And now I sit here with a pounding headach, holdin in my tears! It hurts to have people see me as this insecure little bratt that only cares about herself, which I'm not! My attitude's changin, and I'm tryin to hold back my anger and my tears from others. I don't wanna feel this way no more! I just want it all to stop!!
Wanda.....
I'm not gonna say that it's your fault, but I will say that it's my fault for not noticing what was goin on around you! I never meant for this to happen! None of this at all! Me meeting Allan, Reginald, David, Joseph, nor Maranda! I never wanted any of this to happen without you! But.....one time, I was glad that this happened! But now that I sit in your place in life, I don't want none of it at all! Cee-Cee's gone, you're gone, and I'm alone again! Even sometimes my friends make me feel alone in this world! My little sis is not with me no more. That makes me feel incomplete! I feel as though I have nuthin no more! Nuthin to hold on to! But now...I have hope...somewhat! I'm glad that some of the people that I've been with are there for me! Even my boyfriend! He's the only one that I've ever had a strong connection with! He's there for me, and with my attitude at this time, it seems like everything he do turns negetive to me! And I don't want that! I just want him to understand where I'm comin from! And to me it's like he doesn't! I love him with everything I am, and I wanna share these things with this lost person inside me, which is you! Wanda.... Wanda, I miss you! I don't wanna be here by myself! But then again.....Allan said that I'm not by myself! That he's here with me! And I love him for that! He cares. I want you to see this!
Even though I hurt right now, I'm missin you! And Cee-Cee......
Love you...... Young Mario
OLD MARION · Sun Apr 08, 2007 @ 02:06am · 0 Comments |