Hmm...it's a week until I turn 19, yet I'm so depressed (yeah, sorry this is a whiney rant...I need to get it out!). I did nothing all Spring Break...except hear my family's constant problems. stare
My sister is causing so many problems: anorexia, stole my dad's truck, failing grades, and just down-right spiteful-ness to me. Hopefully, she will go to the private Catholic school and what-not....I hope for her sake. xd
Also, my step-grandmother died this morning. She was ill for three years with stomach cancer. She didn't know about the car crash or mom's death...it was hard to break it to her over the phone last week. I couldn't be there with her because of school...aye, I never get a break!
Also, last Monday my wallet was stolen in the library. Everything important was in it! My SS card, ID, Student ID, a couple bucks....damn! And to think, a girl's purse was stolen the same night, in the same place...even worse, the school states that there are always thefts in the library...the library! If it's known to begin with, where the police, warning signs, and cameras!? scream
I feel so alone now...it sucks! When I met up with my old high school friends, and they made stupid accusations that "I have abandoned them for my college friends. That's so dumb and ignorant! stressed
I also feel that I'm a bad girlfriend as well. I feel I keep pestering him with phone calls and such. I don't mean to! I just worry...I guess it's related to my car crash, which happened almost two years ago. And maybe it's because I care so much about him...I don't know. Or maybe my first relationship and I'm such an ignorant novice when it comes to such things. I'm also afraid I say or do stuff that's rude, but I mean it in jest and I don't realise it until later and he's probably embarressed. I feel aweful. I will support an decision (unless drinking/drugs...but he's not dumb, he won't do such a thing). I have no idea what I can do. Imean there are so many thing I'd love to tell him, but I'm such a shy novice I'd feel embarrassed to tell! Things sappy and sweet like, "I'm very gald you're my first boyfriend and blah, bl-blah, bl-blah"...I even feel embarrassed typing it! Aw, I'll never grow up! sweatdrop
Well, that's my rant...a dark window into my mind...have fun reading! blaugh
Jen_Renee Community Member 
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