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i'm really unsure of what i should do. i need to take a break from all relationships. i wasn't ready to o back with jared. but i know that i do want to be with him in the future, i know that i want to get married to him. but the fact is that i do still kind of love davin and i do feel wrong dating jared right now because i have feelings for both of them. i wish that jared had stayed with amanda longer, at least until she left. i feel really ******** stupid and weak right now. i cut again earlier. the last time that i've done that was before thanksgiving. my whole hand hurts right now because of it. it needs stiches. i'm so weak. i hate myself right now. i wish that i could end it all. i'm so tired of crying, i'm tired of missing the ones who i can't be with. i hate myself because i hurt everyone, i just don't want to hurt anyone anymore.


this life is all bullshit
I'm just s**t