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My Paranoid Life... In case you didn't know, I am extremely twitchy and "no touchy no touchy" with people I'm not really comfortable with... ...I control my reactions too much sometimes and only my friends can tell what is really going through my head most of the time.

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I came home from visiting my best friend/sister in MI for a week last sunday. That night I got in a fight because mom had messed with the one thing that keeps me sane & non-suicidal... my anime. She screwed me over when I asked her if she could pop in a tape and tape it for me (I tape my fav. shows) because I couldn't figure out how to get the vcr up there working. It would have taken mom 2 minutes to save me a lot of misery, but she refused.

After the fight I kind of had an emotional breakdown, I got so wound up it turned into a panic attack. Freaking out like that isn't fun to say the least. After about 10 minutes or so the panic attack turned into a full-blown asthma attack because I was crying and spazzing out too much to manage to breath properly... The whole thing lasted about 30-40 minutes, the longest time in my life... It seemed neverending. About 20 minutes in I started banging on the wall to get my ma's attention, she wasn't much of a help though. There really isn't much one can do to calm someone that far along... I couldn't breath hardly at all and almost fainted from lack of air twice, I had completely stopped breathing for about a full minute and a half. And the bad thing about it that ma doesn't know when it is serious enough to call 911... I could have died...

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