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Recently I have been looking at life differently than I used to. I don't wanna be anything that I am anymore. I want to be more like other people. Dress like other "normal" kids. Quit with the obsesstion with blood and vampires. Quit paying 50 bucks for a stupid pair of bondage pants. My mom says I growing up, but I really don't know if I am ready to grow up. I'm 15 so I probably should, but I don't feel 15. I feel 12 or maybe it is more like i know I still have a huge part of life to go through and i'm not ready to give it all up yet. I was talking to one of my friends last night and she said she want to spend the rest of her life with this guy and I asked her how that was possible. We are all so young and spending the rest of your life with the same person as you are currantly dating seems so.. crazy. I feel like I still have living to do and I am not nearly ready for marrage or any such thing ;however, thats really what growning up is. It is going to college and making a family and having a bussness job. I feel so rushed. The stupid counlor pulled me out of my class to tell me how I needed to choose a career. I totally blew what she said off, but now I see that maybe I do need to look at the future even if I don't want to. I'm going up rather I like it or not. Its going to happen even if I try to fight it, so way not just give in.
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