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For the record, I am fully aware that Chica is supposed to be a chicken.

The Boss opened the front doors of Freddy's and left the building with all four animatronics. It was a little past 5 AM, and the sun was just beginning to rise. She led the group to her massive purple four-door truck, with gold spinning rims that confused the hell out of the robots if they stared at them too long. The truck was big enough that it could normally hold 5 people in all the seats, however the animatronics were a bit too big to get all of them seated, so one had to sit back in the bed of the truck. Freddy, being the stoic leader of the group, volunteered, whilst Bonnie and Chica sat in the back seat, and Foxy in the front passenger seat. However, Freddy was not aware of how poor of a driver The Boss was, and soon regretted his selflessness once The Boss put the truck in gear, and slammed on the gas. Once The Boss had set her GPS, whilst driving and not looking at the road, she became exasperated remembering just how far Freddy's was from the Saints' HQ. She leaned her head out the window to talk to Freddy.

"Yo Freddy!" she shouted into the wind, "The trip's takin' longer than expected! I'm gonna turn on the NOS, so you better hold on tight!"

Freddy's robotic eyes widened as far as they could, and he grabbed on to either side of the truck, his fingers gripping so hard that he actually punctured holes in the truck's hull. Whilst Freddy was clinging for dear robo-life in the back, The Boss decided to pass the time by singing sea shanties with Foxy.

"Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate's life for me!" The two sang in unison.

"Ha ha ha ha," The Boss giggled, "You're a pretty cool guy Patchwork. I always did love pirates." Foxy turned to her and tilted his head in a twitchy manner. "Oh, 'Patchwork?' Well, I don't know your real name, and you're all patchy, with your metal bits sticking out, so I came up with that name," she explained, "The Dread Pirate, Cap'n Patchwork!" she said in a piratey accent.

"Drink up, me hearties! Yo ho!" Foxy sang in response.

"Hmhm, maybe a little later."

The truck drove through an alleyway, and made a grinding halt at a run down old building. A big neon sign reading "PURGATORY" hung over an elevator entrance to the building. Freddy slowly pried his hands from the side of the truck and stumbled his way to the ground. The other animatronics got out of the truck, and Bonnie helped Freddy keep to his feet. The group walked into the elevator, and headed down. The doors opened to a swanky underground hotel, fully equiped with bright lights, stripper poles, and a beautiful statue of an angel holding two pistols.

"Ediser Stnias detnionna ylnevaeh erehw, Dog fo esuoh a si siht?" Freddy pondered aloud.

"You got somethin' to say, Top-hat?" The Boss asked Freddy. Freddy shook his head. "Okay, well if you need something, try to find a way to communicate it so that people will understand what the ******** you're sayin', 'cause what you're doing right now ain't really workin' out."

The Boss lead the animatronics down to the main floor, where the bulk of the Saints were partying. She turned around to address the machines. "Alright, so I may have forgot to mention this," she started, "but before you can officially join the Saints, you gotta be 'canonized.'"

She whistled to get everyone's attention, not that she didn't already have a lot of people's attention, bringing in a bunch of creepy robots after all. The Saints quit their partying and assembled before The Boss and her new friends. "Saints, we got some new blood that needs to be 'canonized.' Now these friendly machines here are good friends of mine, so you better not go easy on 'em, understand?"

The crowd was mixed, with some wholly okay with 'canonizing' these robots, and some looking hesitant or nervous, some even genuinely frightened. "Patchwork, since I like you best, why don't you go first?"

Foxy took a twitchy look at The Boss for a moment, then took a few slow twitchy steps forward. The Saints took their places surrounding the pirate fox, and then the 'canonizing' began. One of the thugs punched Foxy right in the chest, but Foxy didn't even flinch. Foxy lifted his hook-hand into the air, and thrust it downward, into the thug's shoulder. The thug cried out as Foxy lifted him using nothing but his hook, until the thug's face was staring Foxy straight into his slack jaw. Then Foxy shrieked as loud as he could at the terrified thug, the thug screaming right along with him. Once Foxy had sufficiently frightened the poor Saint, he tossed him loose from his hook, and into a group of Saints waiting their turn. Foxy shrieked, as if a battle-cry, as he raised his hook threateningly into the sky.

"I'll keel-haul the lot of ye!" Foxy declared with his tinny, gravelly pirate voice.

The rest of the Saints dared not to move. The Boss applauded. "That was ******** amazing!" she said with excitement, "Just what I'd expect of a bad-a** pirate!" Foxy slowly lowered his hook, realizing the fight was over. "Patchwork, come with me. I got a job for ya. You guys can handle the rest of the canonizing without me, right?" then she and Foxy left, without waiting to hear a reply.

"How'd you like to do some plunderin' with me?" The Boss asked Foxy as they walked back to the elevator. "Yaharrr, matey!" Foxy replied. They walked into the Elevator, and The Boss pushed the button to rise. "You guys are pretty fun, but your voice-boxes sound like s**t. I was thinkin' of ordering a new sound system online," she explained. The elevator doors opened, and they walked to her truck, "But then I remembered, 'Hey, I'm a gangsta, and this ******** a pirate. We should go pillagin' and plunderin' for our loot!'" They opened the doors and got into the truck. "So, whatchyu think, Patchwork? Wanna get some treasure?"

Foxy's eyes narrowed, as if he were attempting a smile, "Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum!"

"That's what I like to hear!" she reached into her jacket and pulled out a sawed-off shotgun, and tossed it to Foxy, who caught it in his good hand. He looked at it oddly for a while. "I hope I don't have to tell you how to use that thing." Foxy adjusted his grip to hold it correctly.

The electronics store was already in view in the morning light. The Boss pulled out her revolver in preparation. "Hold on to your seat. This might get a little bumpy." She drove full speed into the store, crashing through the glass sliding-doors, and drifting to a stop in the middle of the room. The two kicked open their doors and walked out of the truck. The Boss fired off a few shots into the ceiling. "Nobody ********' move! This is a robbery!" she announced to the room. Foxy shrieked, making sure that his presence was known as well. The Boss walked over to one of the clerks, who stood with his hands in the air. "Hey, you guys wouldn't happen to have any speakers that'd fit in a robot. About his size?" she politely asked the clerk. "Y-yeah, we got lots like that," the clerk told her, nervously. "Perfect! I need four sets of your most bad-a** speakers in that size, then. Oh, and by the way, where is the manager's office?" The clerk pointed to a door around the back of the store. "Excellent. Yo, Patchwork, while we're robbing this place, we may as well take some money, too. Go to the manager, and make him empty the vault for us."

"Arrr, shiver me timbers!" Foxy responded. He looked around a bit to find the manager's office, and once he had pin-pointed it, made a mad dash toward the door. He slammed the door open, breaking the doorknob in the process, and shrieked, giving the manager quite a startle. The manager was a middle-aged woman with graying hair, and a tacky yellow plaid suit. She was confused and terrified when she saw Foxy. Foxy pointed his shotgun at her. "Yaharr! I be here fer ya booty!" Foxy announced. "Wh-what? My booty? Y-you mean the safe?" Foxy nodded in a twitchy sort of way.

Meanwhile, back in the show-room, the employees had managed to find four of their most expensive speakers that would fit in a robot, and bring them to The Boss. The Boss looked them over carefully. "Oh ho, these are pretty nice. I think a few of my cars have these," she noted. "Eh heh, if that's all, can we go?" one of the employees asked nervously. "Not quite yet. Could you be a doll and load these speakers into the bed of that truck?" The store employees complied, not wanting to upset the pretty psychopath with a gun. Once they were all loaded up, The Boss decided to go over to the manager's office to check up on Foxy.

When she got to the manager's office, she saw Foxy kneeling in front of the safe with a bag of money at his side. He appeared to be stuffing something back into the safe. "Yo, Patchwork! Whatcha doin' there?" Foxy turned around, a little startled by her, and when he moved The Boss got a clear view of the safe. Foxy had forcefully stuffed the manager into the safe, her body contorted in a way that could not possibly be survivable. "Ech, that's pretty ******** up, Patchwork," she commented with a slight tinge of disgust, "Just the way a real pirate should be!" she winked to Foxy.

All of a sudden, police sirens could be heard outside. The two stood up. "s**t, sounds like someone hit the silent alarm. We got what we came here for, Patchy, so grab the money and let's get out of here!" Foxy hooked onto the money bag with his right hook, and grabbed his shotgun with his left hand, and followed The Boss back to the truck.

"You may want to roll your window down, that way we can get some cover fire," The Boss said as she started up the truck. Foxy, not knowing how to work the car window, decided to just punch through the glass. "I guess that's fine, too. Eh, I can get it replaced easy enough."

The Boss slammed the pedal to the floor, and the truck smashed through the doorway, and through the police barricade. The police gave chase, so Foxy leaned out of the window and opened fire on them. It didn't do much good, though, as the police cars had reinforced windshields. "Here, give 'em some o' this," The Boss handed Foxy a few hand-grenades. Foxy simultaneously pulled all of their pins with his hook, and tossed them out the window. "Ye mangy bilge-rats!" he shouted as the grenades detonated, clearing out the pursuing cops. The Boss kept driving around for a bit, to make sure that they'd really lost the cops, until she was satisfied, and slowed the truck down.

"Whew, that was awesome!" she exclaimed in mild exhaustion. "What's say we celebrate our catch with a drink?"

The two stopped at the nearest night-club they could find. It was a really clean and pristine place, with lots of neon lights, and a disco-styled dance floor. Certainly not the kind of place one would drunkenly sing sea-shanties in. Not normally, anyways.

"Way hay an' up she rises! Way hay an' up she rises! Way hay an' up she rises, Earl-i in the mornin'!" They drunkenly sang as techno music blared in the background. "Yo, bartender," The Boss sputtered, "We need more drinks!"

"What'll it be?" the bartender asked with a discontent expression.

"Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum!" Foxy proclaimed.

"And the lady?"

"Pffft, did you hear that, Patches? He called me a lady!" she said with bashfulness she could only emote in her current drunken stupor. "I'll have what he's having..." she trailed off.

The Boss's phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket to see. It was a call from Gat. "Hey Johnny, wasssssup?" she said in a sing-song manner.

"Hey, Boss. Listen, I just got back to the base, and we found some dead bodies lying around... and a few robots... uhh, and a couple of Saints crying in the corners. Pierce seems to think you had something to do with this."

"Woops," she giggled, "I almost forgot about the canonizing... I'll be right over... be nice to my robot buddies!"

"Sure thing, Boss."

The Boss and Foxy stumbled back to the truck. The Boss drove back to Purgatory, which was probably a bad idea in her state, and she ended up running over a lot of pedestrians, but eventually she found her way back to the base. She stumbled her way in, and fell over in front of Gat.

"Boss? Have you been drinkin'?" Gat asked.

"Eeyup."

"Well, y'think you could get up and tell us what the ******** goin' on here with the dead bodies and the robots?"

"Okaaaay"

Gat helped her to her feet, and walked her over to the couch, with Foxy following behind, where Pierce, Shaundi, and the animatronics were waiting.

"Right... so," she rubbed her groggy face, "these guys just finished getting canonized. They're new members of our gang," she explained.

"I can't believe you brought these freaky-a** robots home with you!" Pierce exclaimed.

"Sh-shut the ******** up, Pierce," The Boss stuttered. "Anywayzz, I gotta introduce you guysh. That one's Freddy Fuzball,"

"Ecnetniauqca ruoy ekam ot demrahc," Freddy said in his usual garbled nonsense.

"That one'zz Ducky,"

"Let's Eat!!!" Chica said excitedly.

"Thish purple ******** right here... he'zz so purple, 'slike he was made to be a Saint... tha's Rab-bot,"

Bonnie waved.

"And 'dis scurvy scallywag over here iss ma' good friend Cap'n Patchwork!"

"Drink up, me hearties! Yo ho!" Foxy sang.

"And we gon' turn 'dese robots inta bangers!" The Boss proclaimed with enthusiasm.

Everyone in the room stared at The Boss with a confused expression.