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Last night / this morning I had a dream where I was taking a test but instead of one long scantron there were a bunch of shaped tests. It was on basic writing stuff but there were also hints about poke'mon. The dream cut and I was in my room unable to move and there were two men making their move on me. It flashed back to the test and there was a man named Richard that was really attractive but he was also my multiple personality. I would take the test and he would write things without my approval. I yelled but everyone looked at me like I was crazy. The dream cut again and I was attacked by the same men again. When I went back to the testing, Richard claimed to have proof that I was raped as a kid. He had a tape. Only, I didn't know how to catch him.

According to the internet, rape in dreams (or near rape) functions because "you feel that you have been violated or that you have been taken advantage of. Something or someone is jeopardizing your self-esteem and emotional well-being. Things are being forced upon you. Dreams of rape are also common for those who were actually raped in their waking life. To see a rape being committed in your dream denotes sexual dysfunction or uncertainty." I know for certain I have never been raped in real life. I have only had dreams about it, which all feel pretty real since twice my pons had not wakened my body yet and left me feeling paralyzed during the dream.

It doesn't really phase me anymore that I dream of that kind of crap but it did bother me that I tried to call for Axel in my dream and only Richard came. He laughed at me and said he didn't exist. Richard wanted me like Axel had wanted me. It was all very confusing for me little heart.