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I always wanted kids, and I always wanted them early, but I should have been more careful what I asked for. I had my son when I was 20, and his father is no longer a part of his life. Hasn't been in a long time. He didn't even show up to his 1st birthday party. Don't get me wrong, he has a daddy. My husband. And he has a normal life. I have no plans to tell him about his father until I think he'll really understand, which will probably be quite a while because when he was 2, my son got diagnosed with autism - we were planning a wedding and had a new baby! I didn't react well. I cried...a lot...but now, moving forward, we have him in preschool and weekly therapy, and my God is he blossoming! My kids are 16 months apart, but my younger daughter teaches my older son most of the words he uses correctly. I don't know whether to be really impressed with her or really sad for him, so I'm both. Sometimes it's confusing and crazy, and my husband's gone so much I feel like I'm doing it all alone sometimes. Even when he's home, he was raised to suck it up, do what you gotta do, and move on. He never got upset, just helped get our son to all the appropriate appointments. He even made me feel bad about crying. I don't know whether that was his intention, but his initial reaction makes him really hard to talk to about it now. So, here I am. I know that in all probability, nobody but me will ever read this. But I'm doing it anyway. Even if no one else sees it, at least I got it out there. Hopefully it'll help.