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People are really dense. I mean, very very dense. When I was a child, I thought I was dense, but then I met actual human beings. Wow! They are the slowest, most incomprehensible, boring, dull creatures in existence!

I must admit something though. All of that time I spent alone, away from the few people in my life I've managed to call "friend" had made me start to appreciate them regardless. I may wish my level of discourse weren't so rare and at times, even feel cursed to bear it, but. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Oh right, yes. Something about other people not being as smart as I am, but in a way being smarter. They get such simple things that I find myself struggling to comprehend.

Sometimes, when I see a couple in love and genuinely pleased by having children and raising them, I wonder if I'm not the stupid one, because I simply can't do those things. John, I know you read this, so I'm warning you not to take this the wrong way. John's the closest thing to a perfect relationship that I will ever come to. It is my perfect relationship. I cannot imagine someone imbued with both John's qualities and the qualities I would require in someone to "be in love" or consider having children with. I don't often say this, but that would be impossible.

Having someone like that around would change me, and I don't want to be changed, nor can I love someone who would change me. I prefer the comfort and soothing of my reliable logic rather than the frightening hazy world of emotions.