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So its x mas eve and well here i am all alone. I mean i am trying my hardest not to think about it....but its hard. Its hard to say that i am ok and that it does not matter. sometimes i wonder if i am ever going to have a merry time with the man i love, or is all those times forsaken for me?

i know he must feel the same way, so i need to be strong and not let him worry about me

i can do this. i wont give up. I just need to make him happy