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Wow, it's been almost 3 years. I must be terrible at keepijng up with these things. My b. Well, I reread all my other journals and they all had a few main themes in them; my ex Allan, my suicidal ways, and how much of a butt I was to him.
I was truely awful towards him and I deserved every single bad thing he's said to me. In reality, it made me realize I AM a terrible person and I need to work. I heard a famous quote peform, "To make a friend, you have to be a friend".... I finally undertand that now.That's why I lost friends so easily...I never acted like one. I lied, I played, and I was rude. I always thought they had ganged up on my, but they all had the right to. I needed it, and now it has opened my eyes.

Being rude doesn't get me anywhere. Oh welll...I've learned from my mistakes and that's all that matters. c: ! I messaged Allan and apologized to him. It is extremely overdo, but I owed him atleast that. If he doesn't reply that's fine, and if he chews me out that's fine too, I won't mind. I know I deserve it.

In other news, I am officially being withdrawn from the school system this month and am taking my GED next month. I am so thankful I have a supportive boyfriend. I know he isn't all up for the idea of me dropping out of school, we talked about it before when Tyler might of had to come back next year. I was scared to tell Cameron, because I knew he would be mad. But he always seems to suprise me somehow, whether good or bad. I know he loves me and will be there for me when I truely need him.He's my bestfriend and I don't know what I'd do without him. I love you Cammy bear ^w^ ! The fact you stick with me whenever I get upset or I make you mad suprises me. Most people wouldnt do that...nobody has. I know things are rough with me right now, and I'm glad to know I have someone there who actually cares. I know it scares you, it scares me too, but it will be over soon...I hope. I also know it bothers you when I tell you my ex or some guy likes me, but I tell you in hopes you will make them go away. You're my whole world and I would never do anything to mess us up.I can't see my life without you and I wanna be with you forever and always, and I try to show that in every way I can, and I know you do too. You're my forever. I love my whaler.