Hmm... well today was an interesting one. Had the day off, so I spent it cleaning up and all that good stuff... I took a nice long shower, dressed nice and did my make up just for the hell of it. When my roommate got home from work at around 5 pm, I said we should go out. So I took her to Olive Garden for dinner. We were having fun, laughing and talking when my phone rings... I dont recognize the number but I answer it cuz I have a funny feeling. It was my little sister... she was fighting with her bf, he was hitting her, she was hitting him... the same old thing that they always do. Then as i was talking to heather, I hear my mom in the background saying she wanted to talk to me... I was like ".. s**t!" But my sister handed the phone over to her and she asked me how I was after the crash.. blah blah blah.. same old normal chit chat we do since we both arent close or anything.. (I blame the incident of her trying to slit my throat on our distant bond). Anyways, she started talking about all the drama going on around there... which is something I never want to hear because Im trying to stay away from that.
She starts making me feel guilty about having money and a job and me not giving all i have to them. How I should go see them cuz I have a car and I can afford it.. and how my mothers many animals are in bad shape and dying (which is something that makes me feel like s**t everytime I hear it). Oh and lets not forget the detailed and vivid stories my mother had to relay to me of how my father had once again beaten her and stole her things... Then my Dad went to jail and is being sentenced to 57 months in prison.. .57.. months....in prison.... Thats about 5 years. Finally I told my mother that I had to go cuz I was out eating at a resturant (which was true) and I got off the phone...
When I got off the phone, I was so upset that I couldnt eat and I left the money on the table, walked outside, and lit up a cigarette. The night just got progressively worse from there... Maegan went to the mall and drug me along to help her find belly rings... then we had to search all over the ******** city for some ******** sudafed cuz shes getting sick. After we found some, I was taking a swig of Dr Pepper.. like a big gulp and Maegan had to say something and I spit it all over... it got on my pants on my shirt , all over the seat.. .I was pissed... good thing I had clothes in the trunk, otherwise I probably would have had a psychotic break and killed someone. Then I finally looked at her and told her she needed to call our friend Joe so he can buy me some alcohol now. So thats what we did, all I could get since the liquor stores were closed was some ******** bacardi raz.. a 6 pack.. well.. needless to say that was gone in about 30 minutes tops.. all thanks to me!
Now Im laying in bed, drunk a bit.. still feeling like s**t. Im glad Im drunk, but it wasnt nearly enough to take my mind off of everything. ********! I hate it at night... theres no one to talk to, no one I want to talk to... Maegan is asleep and Im not gonna wake her up, she has work in the morning... Seth is asleep and he has school in the morning.. No one is online and i have nobody to call.. pathetic isnt it? I feel so alone at these times.. like I have nobody to turn to. *sigh*
Rikyu_Kyokoutou · Wed Feb 22, 2006 @ 10:59am · 1 Comments |