I had forgotten what I wanted to say here, do to the fact, I smashed my head off my metal chest. So in hopes to remember, I started typing why I forgot. Sadly, I don't think I forgot because of that. I forgot because I don't want to think about it...
I think I'm going fitting in, stop helping, stop caring. I've almost lost my emotions so why not? I have nothing to truly live for. Aside my word. I mean... I've been alone for 19 years. Only doing stuff because everyone around me was in to that. If I stopped trying to fit in, I wont have any friends. And I would be okay with that. I think. I heart hurts deeply, because I always hear about they're love life and how good it is, I know how love is good, but I've never had a lover I could hug, and people like 14 maybe even younger do have lovers. And have had more then one.
I feel as if I've already died... I don't even think my word to friends that I wont die, would keep me alive now. I want to die with honor... and in death their is none. I've stopped caring about life, that if mugged at gun point, I'd ignore the person and keep doing what I was doing anyway...
Lately people have been asking me what I like or enjoy... I've only made lies to what i like or even why I hate it, but truth be told, I don't like anything, but I nether hate anything. Well I hate some foods, I think that is the only think I have a real opinion on, food... Heh.
You know. I don't think I've ever head a real meaning full hug in my life. family... They don't count, after so long they too stopped hugging me...I guess as a child, people don't care as much of what you do or are, then when you age, and people think 'better' of you... It really makes me wonder... If people care for me... and anyone who says they do... can't prove it... and as I stand words are meaningless ways to say how you feel... and half the time, they don't even do that.
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Nekuia's wishes
has and holds Nekuia's wishes, wants, and anything that comes to mind. It had a lock but it seemed to of been broken, wanna take a look?
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