Literally, that is what I feel like.
So, once again the weekend has come, and I have slaved in the below freezing temps to throw papers like every friggin saturday and sunday.
I am really beginning to hate the weekends, and also pretty much where I am at this point in my life.
I applied to my favorite store, Hot Topic, about 5 or something days ago, and have heard nothing from them. I really ******** want a job, you know, with normal hours so I can earn my money doing a job in a place I love and at reasonable times. But, sucks to be me, I have no experience. and I bet they're probably looking for exp. I cant put down that I work for my mom currently, I am not an official employee at the station- I am "sub-hired" or what4ever under my mom, not to mention that I am legally not aloud to even be in the station at all, since I am not yet 18..
Lately I have been getting really depressed about all that is happening (or not happening) in my life, and the weekends just remind me as I am tossing papers in to the car that there is probably very little chance that I will get hired at hot topic. then theres still college. and my lack of money, and I still wonder constantly how much money I have made so far throwing papers, and if that money is still in my account, or being used to pay my parents bills and whatnot.
My grades are still crap, and everytime I think about them I just start to hate my self even more. If I don't graduate this spring, I don't think I will be able to face my friends. Really, I don't.
The only thing I have going for me right now in my life are my friends and the love of my life, Chris. I even have doubts about whether my art is even good enough to get me to college. Cause I damn well know that I ain't gonna get there by money.
Seriously, with out Chris, I don't know what I'd be doing in this world...
So, once again the weekend has come, and I have slaved in the below freezing temps to throw papers like every friggin saturday and sunday.
I am really beginning to hate the weekends, and also pretty much where I am at this point in my life.
I applied to my favorite store, Hot Topic, about 5 or something days ago, and have heard nothing from them. I really ******** want a job, you know, with normal hours so I can earn my money doing a job in a place I love and at reasonable times. But, sucks to be me, I have no experience. and I bet they're probably looking for exp. I cant put down that I work for my mom currently, I am not an official employee at the station- I am "sub-hired" or what4ever under my mom, not to mention that I am legally not aloud to even be in the station at all, since I am not yet 18..
Lately I have been getting really depressed about all that is happening (or not happening) in my life, and the weekends just remind me as I am tossing papers in to the car that there is probably very little chance that I will get hired at hot topic. then theres still college. and my lack of money, and I still wonder constantly how much money I have made so far throwing papers, and if that money is still in my account, or being used to pay my parents bills and whatnot.
My grades are still crap, and everytime I think about them I just start to hate my self even more. If I don't graduate this spring, I don't think I will be able to face my friends. Really, I don't.
The only thing I have going for me right now in my life are my friends and the love of my life, Chris. I even have doubts about whether my art is even good enough to get me to college. Cause I damn well know that I ain't gonna get there by money.
Seriously, with out Chris, I don't know what I'd be doing in this world...
