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Today was like every other day, I road the bus to work, worked hard and got my editing done, had a light luch, and I went home. My TV went out a while back so I decided to read a book, more specifically The Fox Woman(my favorite). I got my book, and put on some music (Scars on Broadway) to create some background noise, I then sat in my favorite spot below my window, where the light comes in just right.

My one freind calls it my "cat nap spot" because I tend to fall asleep under that window, and my freind says I look like a cat warming itself in the sun.

I had read about a chapter when, and I dont know why, I started to cry. I have not cried in years, the last time I had shed tears was at my brothers death bed. I tried to stop, but once I started, I couldnt stop, I even started to cry harder.

I felt like every bad memory, experience, and loss I had ever had was comeing back into the room, like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. I felt like a child affraid of the dark praying for the dawn.

I thought of my accident and the voice I lost. I thought about how my mom and how bad she felt about my drinking. I thought about my brother.

I cried the hardest I had ever cried. I cried untill I started to hicup. I cride untill my throat hurt. But after the tears started to dry up, and my hicups were starting to die away, I felt so... releived. I felt numb emotionally. A bomb could have gone off and I still wouldnt have moved I was so worn out.

When I finally got up to get a tissue I noticed that my cd had ended, and it was so quiet. I didnt like the silence. I put on another cd, and went back to my spot at the window, sat down, curled up, and went to sleep. I never slept better in my life.