I'm so sick of this new gaia, I HATE how they re-built it it is nothing but a mini myspace and facebook...you can even add your stuff to them now. If it weren't for my boyfriend then I probably wouldn't even have one of these anymore. I didn't have any use for these before he got one but now he's not going on so I don't see the point of going on anymore other then to write in my journal...which can be interesting, I've been told I have the mentality of a 4 year old and the body of an 17 year old... is that even possible? I hate being athletic when most of my friends can't even do one lap around my schools track course and thats only 1/4 of a mile. today me, my bf, and 2 friends did a walk for hunger but my bf started getting sick so we had to stop at the 5 mile mark and we still had 15 more to go... sad *sigh* I guess things don't always go the way they are planned, I have this huge interview for the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's 90's and 00's due tomorrow and I only have the 90's and 00's...is that bad? I hope not I have to interview 4 more people and I really don't want to talk to my grandma. she hates me cuz of how I dress and how I act. she won't even realize that she's killing me slowly she's completly oblivioius to me in almost ever way possible and I really wich she would just show me love. I like being loved cuz it makes me realize people do care about me but I have these worries about me and my bf...he has this friend that lives in New Mexico and she loves him almost if not more then me and we might be seeing them next summer but I'm afraid that like everyone else does he'll realize that this person is better then me, break up with me, then go out with that person and not ever remember me again... it's such an irrational fear but it's happened more then once to me and I really don't want it to happen again, is it really that bad for me to fall in love? is it really that bad for me to find someone that I love and they just by chance happen to love me too? why can't I find someone that I can tell just by the way he talksto his friends that he'd 1) never hurt me and 2) never leave me? comeon seriously I really like having a love but if I'm going to continue being hurt by them then I'd rather be alone forever and not have to deal with the heartbreak over and over and over and over again, I seriously have to find someone that won't try to hurt me but also lives close to me that way I never have the fear that they are cheating on me, or that they will run off with someone else and I'll be alone
imortal-goth Community Member 
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