Just a little something i posted on myspace. I thought i'd share with gaia.
You'd be surprised who is actually a really good friend to you. I dont mean someone who you can have fun with. No. I mean someone who is there for you when it really counts and when you need it most. Some of your closest friends can actually turn out to be total ******** you never want to see again. Yet someone you would never think may just turn out to be amazing in times of need. I think if you are there for someone constantly the least they can do is be there for you once in a while. It seems im the only one who thinks this.
I'm sick of bad friends. I'm sick of people who im always there for not helping me at all. Being there for me physically doesnt mean you're there for me emotionally (just cuz im with you dont count it as helping me unless you really try). I'm sick of being ignored, disregarded and tossed away till you need me again. The world doesnt work like that whore. I understand that just cuz im deppressed you dont have to be there. But i ******** want you to want to. I always try with the people i care for, regardless of whatever s**t im going through. Do i even see a glimmer of this in anyone else? hell no! ‡‡
People i hardly beleive would help or even be there have stepped up and showed me how good a friend they are. While others, close friends and people i thought cared, have showed me how selfish and ******** up they truly are.
And don't ******** think you're exempt from this list of bad friends just cause your close to me or we share a special bond. ******** no. Take a good look inside and think, have i really been there for him? Spent the time on him that he needs? Helped him when he's came to me? Unless you've got an unshakable resounding yes, you're most probably a bad friend to me.
Some of you think it's ok to come to me whilst not helping me in turn. "Adam this happened", "Adam they did this/said this" , "Adam i really need you". I DONT ******** CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR STUPID PROBLEMS ANYMORE SO DONT FOR ONE ******** SECOND THINK I DO. I gave up on you a long time ago, and bets are, so has most the people in your life. You get what you give and b***h you'll get yours.
Now all this isn't directed at anyone in particular. Most of you in fact have done something in this blog. This is just a collection of how im feeling towards everyone atm. There is however a few persons who ALL of this applies too, sucks to be you.
I had a massive emo recently and didnt go home for a while. I was very surprised by who helped me and was there for me and tried to make me feel better and those that didnt. That's what brought on this journal entry. I found out who really cared for me, and who see's me as a conveniance.
There is no way for me to convey to you the anger and hurt inside of me at the moment. But you'll see it manifest itself in our relationship. The way it will sit and fester inside of me untill i destroy you. And i know enough about ALL of you to ******** you over majorly.
I WILL take away your happiness.
I WILL take away the people you care for
and
I WILL not stop untill everything you hold dear is gone. Everything.
I'm not gonna be there for you anymore. You're on your own. I've stopped caring. You've not cared about me enough to give me the time of day, so now im not. You all had a good thing and you took it and abused it. Now its gone.
To those who were there for me and actually cared. Thankyou.
Thankyou for helping me and making me happy again. It means alot to me. ILY ^_^
‡‡ Actually i did see this in one person. Never would i think that Justin can be such an amazing selfless person. He was just about the only person who tried and cared. I love you justin soooooooooooo much. Thankyou for everything. Even though we fight we know when to be good friends and when the other needs us.
- Your very uncared for Adam
******** YOU!
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