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El Captaino de Silly Town
Captain

PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 5:45 pm


Post your funniest jokes or trivia here.
PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:45 pm


A funny Joke I read

[Goybert greets Yoshi]:

"Hello Yoshi, I heard you know Hebrew"?

"Yes I do." replied Yoshi.

Goybert: I was wondering what the Hebrew for he is?

Yoshi: Hu. (הוּא)

Goybert: Not any one in particular, I just wanted to know what is he?

Yoshi: Hee (הִיא) is she.

Goybert: Who?

Yoshi: No, Hu (הוּא) is he.

Goybert: I thought you said he is she?

Yoshi: Yes, that is correct.

Goybert: What is correct?

Yoshi: Hee (הִיא) is she.

Goybert: I have no idea what you said. Who is she?

Yoshi: No, hu (הוּא) is he.

Goybert: I dont want to know who he is, now I want to know what she is in Hebrew?

Yoshi: Hee. (הִיא)

Goybert: He Who?

Yoshi: Yes that is correct. But, hee (הִיא) is she.

Goybert: Who is she?

Yoshi: No, hu (הוּא) is he.

Goybert: Why do you keep asking me "who is he"?

Yoshi: I thought you were asking me what he is in Hebrew?

Goybert: Me?

Yoshi: That is who. (מִי)

Goybert: Who is me?

Yoshi: No, hu (הוּא) is he, mee (מִי) is who.

Goybert: I don't want to know who you are, I want to know who is he?

Yoshi: That is correct.

Goybert: But, I have no idea what I am saying.

Yoshi: But you say it so well.

Goybert: Who me?

Yoshi: Why are you asking me who he is? (מִי הוּא)

Goybert: No, I am asking you what is he.

Yoshi: Hee (הִיא) is she.

Goybert: Who is she?

Yoshi: No, hu is he. (הוּא)

Goybert: I am very lost. Me is who? Who is he? He is She?

Yoshi: Very good, you said that very well.

Goybert: What did I say?

Yoshi: Mee is who (מִי), hu (הוּא) is he and hee (הִיא) is she.

Goybert: Well if you must know, you are crazy, I don't know who he is and if she is a he, I sure don't want to know her?

famusamu
Crew


baptistgirl
Crew

PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 8:03 pm


I dont want to know who she is either if she is a he or he is a she.
PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 8:26 pm


God summons Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates to a meeting. At the meeting he told them he was coming again and the end of the world was next week. Go back and prepare. Boris Yeltsin summons his parliament and told them he had two things to tell them and both were bad news. 1. There is a God. 2. The end of the world is next week. Bill Clinton went back and summoned the Senate and said I have good news and bad news. 1. There is a god. 2. the end of the world is next week. Bill Gates went back and called his board meeting and said I have two items of good news. 1. I am one of the three most important men in the world. 2. There is no millenium bug problem.

baptistgirl
Crew


baptistgirl
Crew

PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 6:08 pm


eek
PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 10:26 pm


50 fun things to do in an elevator!


Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you, just shut UP!"

Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

Sell Girl Scout cookies.

On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
Shave.

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

One word: Flatulence!

On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

Do Tai Chi exercises.

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, stupid motion sickness!"

Give religious tracts to each passenger... then ask them if they like the pictures.

Meow occassionally.

Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"

Leave a box between the doors.

Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

Start a sing-along.

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

Play the harmonica.

Shadow box.

Say "Ding!" at each floor.

Lean against the button panel.

Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

Bring a chair along.

Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

Blow spit bubbles.

Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

Bring a blaring boom box along with you and start dancing wildly (extra fun when the elevator is packed).

Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"


this is where i got this from
http://www.christianteens.net/jokes/elevator.htm

max2.11
Crew


baptistgirl
Crew

PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:55 pm


[ Message temporarily off-line ]
PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 12:47 am


On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.

A couple of pecans dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

He just knew what it was. Shaking, he jumped back on his bike and rode off.

Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.


"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk."

When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything.

The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those two nuts by the fence and we'll be done."

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the boy on the bike.

max2.11
Crew


famusamu
Crew

PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 4:54 pm


Since my wife baptistgirl is pregnant, I thought I would post this..

Top 17 Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife


17. "I finished the Oreo's."
16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40
pounds."
15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee
had a baby!"
14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."
13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super
Bowl."
12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise
visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy,
that's gotta hurt."
10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to
Willard Scott!"
9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
7. "Get your *own* ice cream."
6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."
5. "Got milk?"
4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Bambi."
3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

And the Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...

1. "You don't have the guts to pull the trigger........."
PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 11:38 am


famusamu
Since my wife baptistgirl is pregnant, I thought I would post this..

Top 17 Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife

4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Bambi."
xd I actually knew someone who was nicknamed Bambi.

Vondra
Vice Captain


ZarialAmeraise

PostPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 1:45 pm


ok. i dont have a joke. but a story.
we were at kira party and josh was blind drunk. he got this broom out of the cupboard and started to flirt with it. then kiss it. and eventualy take it to bed. it was true love poeople.
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 6:19 pm


how do you tell if a bondes having a bad day??
she has a tampon behind her ear and sh cant find her pencil!

ZarialAmeraise


HUTCCCH

PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 2:42 am


1.brunette: i was listening to eminem last night

blonde: you were listening to candy?!



2. blonde officer: m'am did you know you were speeding? I need to see your license.

blonde driver: what's a license?

blonde officer: the thing with your face on it.

blonde driver: here you go *hands a mirror*

blonde officer: wow, i didn't know you were an officer too!
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 2:56 am


xd

Vondra
Vice Captain

Reply
Silly Town: A Place for looney people.

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