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 Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 8:29 am
Elemental High
Mutant RPG Name: Fang Blacktail(real last name, chosen first name) Age: 19 Skills: water and ice magic Weapons: snow board and ice lance(if you are familiar with beet the vandel buster, it looks similar to laio's burning lance) Personality: fang is playful, carefree, sometimes cold, secluded, protective of those he is close to, cranky during the new moon, and vicious when need be. mostly remains in anthro form because he likes it better(its got thumbs). he has the common weakness of all werewolves, silver. he can wear it but it cant get in his blood. Appearance:  still has tail in human form Wolfen Appearance:  Background story: My name is Fang. I was a human up until around february of 07. i was kidnapped by someone and taken to a laboratory. i dont remember much about that time i spent there except that there was so much pain. i managed to escape and make it back home, but before i got there i realized that i was no longer human. i couldnt make my tail go away, and when i got home my family blamed me for my sisters disappearance. they didnt want me around anymore and they called me freak, so i ran away. they tried to hunt me down but they couldnt see me in the dark. then i came here and found a group who accepted me for what i had become. now i spend a lot of my time looking for my sister because she is the only one in my family who always liked me for who i was.
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 10:29 am
Very nice. but he cant be serious and carefree. And does he have weaknesses?
((oh could u look at Kiyayiu Kinnogachi's profile?))
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:27 am
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Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 11:28 pm
The only memories wiped were the ones about the experiments...
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 8:29 am
I would say this character is sub-par (By Gaia standards *Shudder*). Not beyond saving, but I was cringing a lot when reading.
Name: Okay. Pretty stereotyped. It's a lot worse if it is his birth name. Strange coincidence that he became a wolf?
Skills: Very vague. What sort of things can he DO with the magic? How did he get them? The background doesn't mention this. I'm guessing his parents were okay with him having magic powers, but not with him having a tail?
Weapons and Appearance: ANY description that uses "It's like _____ from ____ " is a huge no no. Using pictures from an already existing website is also bad. It shows you have no imagination. What's worse is taking the picture, then saying"Instead of _______ my char has ______". Also, black trench coats are stereotyped.
Backstory: Typical mutant backstory. Very silly twist at the end, with the whole memory loss.
Verdict: About as average as typical Gaia rpers. You tick all the wrong boxes in terms of appearance and development. 3/10.
Edit: Tips for improvement: Scrap the character.
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 6:50 pm
I don't think he should scrap it. Yeah, it's pretty bad now, but I think it really has a lot of potential. I like the lab part; the rest needs some serious shanges. The "my whole family hates me" thing sounds kinda right, only I would go with something like: he whole family thinks he's a monster that kidnapped both him and his little sister and just tried to take on his form. The hunting is right, but the "can't see me in the dark" is kinda lame. I think running into the werewolf pack while trying to hide from the hunters and the pack taking him away and keeping him safe is a lot better. The pack would teach him how to use his skills, of course. He definatly needs a purpouse, which would be finding his little sister.
But don't just copy my ideas to the letter. Try to use your own ideas, and to meld other ideas in with your own. Like I said before, I see a lot of potential. Oh, and please PLEASE use proper grammer.
Lex
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:07 pm
Oh, and like Orgasmic Gemini said, come up with your own descriptions. If you can't draw, find a friend that can and have that person draw your character for you.
Although...
Sometimes if don't have any pictures and I'm faced with an incredibly "slow" newb, or just anyone without an imagination, I try to find something to compare the item or person with. I know it's bad! I'M SORRY! please don't throw tomatoes at me...
My point is that I think it's ok to do it sometimes, just don't make a habit out of it. But this is just my personal opinion.
Lex
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 8:51 am
Lexenos I don't think he should scrap it. Yeah, it's pretty bad now, but I think it really has a lot of potential. I like the lab part; the rest needs some serious shanges. The "my whole family hates me" thing sounds kinda right, only I would go with something like: he whole family thinks he's a monster that kidnapped both him and his little sister and just tried to take on his form. The hunting is right, but the "can't see me in the dark" is kinda lame. I think running into the werewolf pack while trying to hide from the hunters and the pack taking him away and keeping him safe is a lot better. The pack would teach him how to use his skills, of course. He definatly needs a purpouse, which would be finding his little sister.
But don't just copy my ideas to the letter. Try to use your own ideas, and to meld other ideas in with your own. Like I said before, I see a lot of potential. Oh, and please PLEASE use proper grammer. Oh, and like Orgasmic Gemini said, come up with your own descriptions. If you can't draw, find a friend that can and have that person draw your character for you.
Although...
Sometimes if don't have any pictures and I'm faced with an incredibly "slow" newb, or just anyone without an imagination, I try to find something to compare the item or person with. I know it's bad! I'M SORRY! please don't throw tomatoes at me...
My point is that I think it's ok to do it sometimes, just don't make a habit out of it. But this is just my personal opinion.
Lex
A lot of potential? The thing is, every Rp character has a lot of potential. Every film has a lot of potential. Everything has a lot of potential. That phrase is thrown around way too much.
And, if a "slow" person can't use their imagination for a simple thing such as appearance, then they really shouldn't be Rping in the first place.
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 9:24 am
Role Playing isn't just for smart people. It's for everyone who wants to play. Those that are new or have no imagination should be nurtured by the more experienced players so that they can grow and become better. More experienced players shouldn't just run around shooting people down because they don't know what they're doing. They need to be kind and help. When I started off, I was probably as bad as him. But I had friend who taught me, who encouraged me. I don't know where I'd be today if they had told me that I sucked and to give up. All I know is that I wouldn't have RPGs, and that would be a very sad world indeed for me.
Lex
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 9:45 am
The way I see it, yes, it is for smart people. For people who can be bothered to effing type properly. I'd rather a small minority of Rpers that can type than a huge gathering that all have characters like Fang Blacktail.
I'm harsh, but true.
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 10:58 am
Sorry, I meant off-line. Like a group of people get together and talk. Online, yeah. It is really annoying when people don't type with proper grammar on purpouse. All I do is ask that person to use proper grammar.
If the person sayssomething like: "Oh, I'm sorry, I won't do it again," that person is a newb and should be nurtured.
If the person says: omg ur stoopid stfu, that person is a n00b, and I will be one of the first to take up a pitchfork and torch to go after the stupid idiot.
My bad for the misunderstanding, and I did get that newb/n00b thing from a webcomic.
Lex
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 11:52 pm
Which is why you shouldn't use it.
Newb/N00b is used way too much. And in roleplaying, the names are used differently.
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 5:49 pm
very nice, but sounds a bit power playish. You need to narrow down his personality, and add some weakness.
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 8:31 pm
just so you all know, i didnt ask to be flamed *cough*gemini*cough* but i appreciate the constructive criticism and i learn from it. though, i dont appreciate the fact that some people would rather cut me down than help me out. what do you think that says about this persons real personality? thanks for all the help to those of you who have tried to help me 3nodding biggrin
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Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:47 am
*clap clap clap*
Well said, well said.
Lex
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