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 Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 1:22 pm
Is there anything holding you back from reaching your goal? Do you sometimes feel like no matter how hard or far you reach out, you will never get there? We all have demons we need to face, and sometimes the best way to do that is to discuss it with others, to set those demons free :] Sometimes we just need to realize that only we are holding ourselves back, and releasing this negative energy by telling others how we feel is always a good start. So, tell me! What do you feel is holding you back in your journey to lose weight and // or maintain a healthier lifestyle? 
~photo credit wackycow on devArt.
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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 1:27 pm
I've realized that there is something horrible holding me back.
I'm almost afraid to lose weight.
I've never been in that great of shape, I've always just been on the average side. I find that I'm almost afraid to look great... to turn heads every once and a while, to be seen. I've realized that I've become way too comfortable in my little invisible nook, that the thought of people actually noticing or even glancing at me in a positive manner terrifies me. I've always been seen in a negative light, because I'm a plain Jane and not a size 00. While I don't want to be a size 00, I know that being a size 4-6 over being a size 8-10 will turn more heads and get people to notice me in a relatively nicer way. I don't exactly like the thought of that, I wish the majority of people would just accept people for who they are. . . and I'm in no way losing way to please other people. . . but I know it'll feel a lot nicer getting told I look good over being called a Pig and being chased by laughter all the way to class.
I don't understand why I'm afraid. In one way I'm overly excited for it to happen, but in another way I'm absolutely terrified. u_u;;
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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:17 pm
I adore sweets. And fried foods. gonk I'm still having a really hard time cutting back on them. Another thing is is that I'm lucky enough to currently have a pretty good metabolism... I never go over around 130, whereas everyone else in my family is chronically extremely overweight or underweight (mostly the latter). So, every time I get into a slump, I just look at myself and say, "Y'know, 130 isn't that bad. Why even bother?" Then a few days later I get back to my senses by remembering that I'm not going to have this same metabolism my entire life (and seeing all the cool martial arts classes in town that made me want to get in shape in the first place >_< ). Unfortunately, I keep going through this cycle over and over again, so while I initially lost weight, I've been stuck in the same place for way too long now.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:14 am
Frau Svenja von Wolfsberg I've realized that there is something horrible holding me back. I'm almost afraid to lose weight. I've got the same feeling, and for almost the same reasons. On the one hand, I've done my best to blend in and to be invisible for so long. On the other hand, I know I stand out more by being overweight; at least if I were smaller, I wouldn't take up as much space and therefore might go unnoticed because of that, which would be comforting. I think I look good now. I'm no supermodel, but people respond to me with pleasantness most of the time, and most people's gut reactions are based on how you look to them, I know, so I must look okay to others. I don't actually worry about the way I look, myself, though. It's more important to me to be a person of integrity and compassion. So, weight loss for me is not about the way I look, or the way I want to look. It's not about my health, either. Even at my heaviest, my doctor said (with frustration) that I was one of her healthiest patients. I have a very healthy heart, robust lungs, a very low cholesterol level, good stamina and strength. I have NONE of the health problems so commonly assumed to be caused or exacerbated by overweight. It's entirely about fitting into the size-six world. It's about being able to go on an airplane without having to ask for the seat belt extender. It's about going on rides at Disneyland, and not being told with embarrassed delicacy, "Well, this ride is more for... um... children, or very small... people." It's about getting to shop in regular stores, and paying $5 to $25 less per article of clothing, instead of paying more and only shopping in specialty stores that cater to women of size/girth/substance. Yes, I know. My weight loss is entirely a matter of convenience. Shallow, right? Here's the thing, though. A part of me does listen to the messages that other people give me about my looks. I don't care what I look like, necessarily, but I do want to look well-groomed and polished, no matter what my size. I'd like to be attractive, no matter what my size. But what if I do everything I'd like to do? What if I lose 100 pounds (I'm a very good portion of the way there, by now)? What if I become toned and fit, like a dancer or athlete? What if I did get braces to straighten my lower teeth? What if I did acquire a nice tan, dress in a polished and fashionable way, get my hair straightened and cut stylishly? And what if, at the end of all of it, I'm still plain? I don't like to think of being shallow enough to base my self-esteem on the outer part of me, but the truth is, that might be quite a blow to have to take. I'm afraid to find out that underneath all of what I don't like about my looks... is still a lot of stuff that I won't like any better than I like what I've got now.
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:51 am
Physically, what's holding me back is my love of sweets and high-fat dairy, as well as my "splurge days". You know, those days where one portion just doesn't seem to be enough (even though you know it is). But, I'm getting better about that.
Mentally, well, I think I too am afraid to lose it all. I started to lose weight because they guy I liked didn't like me. And we were friends, so it had to be the weight, right? So, I worked at it, and I've lost over 100 lbs. And still, no guy has been interested. Ever. I mean, I'm still not a small person, and I'm working on losing more weight, so that could be it. But what scares me is if it turns out to not be the weight. What if there's just some intrinsic personality trait that drives people away, and it's not the weight? It's a lot harder to change mentally/emotionally than physically, and as long as I'm fat, I can blame it on the weight....
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 9:48 am
I'm completely on the same page as Frau, to be honest-- though I'm heavier than she seems to be.
There's a sort of comfort in not being noticed, in being practically invisible at parties and stores.
The last time I lost weight, I got down to 160 or so (height being 5'4") and people constantly remarked upon how cute I was. One time I was walking through the mall with my mom and it seemed as though everyone was staring at me. I got more and more nervous, and asked my mom if I was dressed weirdly or something-- she said that people were just looking at me because I was cute, and it was very unsettling. The fact that I'm a lesbian also plays into this-- I hate when men look at me, it's just disgusting.
Another part of it is that I don't want people to be attracted to me just because I'm good-looking-- at least at my weight now, I can always tell that people who are interested in me aren't shallow. If I lose weight, that won't always be the case.
I also just LOVE to eat. It's my favorite thing to do.. I know it sounds disgusting but I just truly love food, and always have.
Regardless, I hope to lose the weight for my health, and also learn to be happy with a smaller body.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:39 pm
My lack of discipline is what holds me back most of the time. I like food and eating too much. I need to learn when enough is enough. Plus I'm so lazy when it comes to exercise. I need to get into the habit of it, but I keep making excuses of why not to.
As for a fear of losing the weight, it doesn't bother me that I might get noticed more often. I'm pretty tall for a girl, so sometimes I already do. I guess I might be used to it. Plus I think I might be a bit of an attention whore, so it works out.
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Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 3:09 am
oba bear My lack of discipline is what holds me back most of the time. I like food and eating too much. I need to learn when enough is enough. Plus I'm so lazy when it comes to exercise. I need to get into the habit of it, but I keep making excuses of why not to. That's the same as me too. I end up wanting the bad foods (it doesn't help that I'm the only one in the family who is wanting to lose weight - the groceries are their "normal" stuff). I think what's holding me back is that I have no self control. If it's in the house, I'll have cravings for it and give in to those. scream It's frustrating, and I try to keep it in control, but so far it's not working.
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:08 am
My mom said something to me in high school that's stuck with me ever since: Discipline is remembering what you really want.
Do you really want a Twinkie ... or do you want clear, lovely skin? (Grab an apple.)
Do you really want to sit and watch TV ... or do you want the energy to participate in PE classes and not come in last for everything? (Go to the gym or jog.)
Do you really want extra butter on your mashed potato ... or do you want to look fabulous in a new outfit you've been dying to wear? (Use extra spices for flavor instead of fat.)
Do you really want to gobble that whole pie down ... or do you just want a taste, so that later you can feel virtuous? (Ask for a smaller slice. Take one bite and then offer the rest to someone else, or put your fork down and declare that you're finished.)
A treat tastes good for a few seconds or minutes. After that, you've got to live with the fact that you ate it, in terms of calories, fat, sugars, and of course the self-doubt that comes from overeating when you knew in advance the danger that it would pose to your weight loss effort. "A moment on the lips, eternity on the hips."
I've got a sign up on my refrigerator. It's a picture of a stop-sign in bright red. In big, bold letters, the sign asks, "Will that treat taste as sweet as it will feel to be thin and fit? Grab some fruit!"
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 5:09 pm
I wish my mom said things like that to me when I was younger :[ But she's struggling with her weight more than I am :[ So I didn't grow up with proportion control and encouraging words to be healthy :[ I didn't even really drink water (or anything other than soda, for that matter) until about 1.5 years ago.
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 2:11 pm
Well, it's not too late to give yourself those encouraging messages now. smile You've got a lot to be proud of. Stick with it! We'll all be here to help with more encouraging messages. Here's another, and I'm reading it from the little sign I posted in my closet, which now I've got on my desk so that I can get the wording right: "I deserve to be admired for my gorgeous body
even before people get to know what a great person I am.
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:38 pm
Frau Svenja von Wolfsberg I've realized that there is something horrible holding me back.
I'm almost afraid to lose weight.
I've never been in that great of shape, I've always just been on the average side. I find that I'm almost afraid to look great... to turn heads every once and a while, to be seen. I've realized that I've become way too comfortable in my little invisible nook, that the thought of people actually noticing or even glancing at me in a positive manner terrifies me. I've always been seen in a negative light, because I'm a plain Jane and not a size 00. While I don't want to be a size 00, I know that being a size 4-6 over being a size 8-10 will turn more heads and get people to notice me in a relatively nicer way. I don't exactly like the thought of that, I wish the majority of people would just accept people for who they are. . . and I'm in no way losing way to please other people. . . but I know it'll feel a lot nicer getting told I look good over being called a Pig and being chased by laughter all the way to class.
I don't understand why I'm afraid. In one way I'm overly excited for it to happen, but in another way I'm absolutely terrified. u_u;; This makes me feel so much better, to know I'm not the only one that feels like this. I have a very simular problem. I started out obese and 186 pounds, and I wanted to be an average weight. Somewhere between 140 and 125. Preferabley 130. I'm now 138. And I hate that people are accepting me now, and being overall more friendly. And I have feeling it's only because I've lost almost 40 pounds...Very few people were nice to me at my peak weight. Other than those few, how will I know who'll accept ME, rather than my improving, outward appearence?
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:50 pm
LadyImpish, I think you're to be congratulated for reaching your healthy goal, but you're also right to wonder if people are loving you or treating you well for the beauty they can see or for the beauty that's deeper inside. I often wonder if those who've spent their lives looking outwardly beautiful ever give that idea much thought at all. I wonder if they fall for the niceness that comes to them because they're pretty, and it makes me secretly glad that I spent a lot of years being average-looking and a few more being honestly unattractive. It gives me a perspective I think I've needed.
That said, now that I do feel I'm attractive (halfway to my weight goal) outwardly, I've chosen to find a way to force people to deal with the inner, real me and not with the outer shell of me. Simply put, I cover up the shell. I dress modestly. Partly it's in honor of my religious tradition, but a big part of it (and, I suppose, a big part of the reason for the tradition in the first place) is that if all a person can see is my face, they don't get to think of me as "The Legs," or "The One With The Knockers," or "The Redhead." They're directed forcefully yet gently to look at my face and its many expressions, and thus to regard me as an individual with ideas, feelings, imagination, dignity.
I don't suggest to everyone that they cover from wrist to neck to ankle -- but honestly, I think it does help other people focus on the part of you that's most reflective of your inner self. I don't mean the well-shaped eyebrows, the hairy overgrown eyebrows, the big proud nose, the small pert nose, the fully juicy lips or the thin crooked ones, the perfect skin, the pock-marked skin, the blue or brown or hazel or green or grey eyes. I mean the expressions that your face makes, whatever its genetic design. More than anything else, covering just a little bit more of the body than you normally do is bound to direct people's attention to the parts you leave open to viewing.
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Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:04 am
Divash My mom said something to me in high school that's stuck with me ever since: Discipline is remembering what you really want. Do you really want a Twinkie ... or do you want clear, lovely skin? (Grab an apple.) Do you really want to sit and watch TV ... or do you want the energy to participate in PE classes and not come in last for everything? (Go to the gym or jog.) Do you really want extra butter on your mashed potato ... or do you want to look fabulous in a new outfit you've been dying to wear? (Use extra spices for flavor instead of fat.) Do you really want to gobble that whole pie down ... or do you just want a taste, so that later you can feel virtuous? (Ask for a smaller slice. Take one bite and then offer the rest to someone else, or put your fork down and declare that you're finished.) A treat tastes good for a few seconds or minutes. After that, you've got to live with the fact that you ate it, in terms of calories, fat, sugars, and of course the self-doubt that comes from overeating when you knew in advance the danger that it would pose to your weight loss effort. "A moment on the lips, eternity on the hips." I've got a sign up on my refrigerator. It's a picture of a stop-sign in bright red. In big, bold letters, the sign asks, "Will that treat taste as sweet as it will feel to be thin and fit? Grab some fruit!"
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Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:33 am
Divash LadyImpish, I think you're to be congratulated for reaching your healthy goal, but you're also right to wonder if people are loving you or treating you well for the beauty they can see or for the beauty that's deeper inside. I often wonder if those who've spent their lives looking outwardly beautiful ever give that idea much thought at all. I wonder if they fall for the niceness that comes to them because they're pretty, and it makes me secretly glad that I spent a lot of years being average-looking and a few more being honestly unattractive. It gives me a perspective I think I've needed. That said, now that I do feel I'm attractive (halfway to my weight goal) outwardly, I've chosen to find a way to force people to deal with the inner, real me and not with the outer shell of me. Simply put, I cover up the shell. I dress modestly. Partly it's in honor of my religious tradition, but a big part of it (and, I suppose, a big part of the reason for the tradition in the first place) is that if all a person can see is my face, they don't get to think of me as "The Legs," or "The One With The Knockers," or "The Redhead." They're directed forcefully yet gently to look at my face and its many expressions, and thus to regard me as an individual with ideas, feelings, imagination, dignity. I don't suggest to everyone that they cover from wrist to neck to ankle -- but honestly, I think it does help other people focus on the part of you that's most reflective of your inner self. I don't mean the well-shaped eyebrows, the hairy overgrown eyebrows, the big proud nose, the small pert nose, the fully juicy lips or the thin crooked ones, the perfect skin, the pock-marked skin, the blue or brown or hazel or green or grey eyes. I mean the expressions that your face makes, whatever its genetic design. More than anything else, covering just a little bit more of the body than you normally do is bound to direct people's attention to the parts you leave open to viewing. That's the best advice I've gotten in awhile, it's something I might try. Thank you. I wish more people saw things from your point of view.
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