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Well, as you know Paladin is back from his mission early. I had been planning on going to college for a year for vet assistant next year. However, I had had some doubts as to whether I really wanted to do it for various reasons. Now, I'm debating doing post secondary at all before getting married. I only would want a year long program but nothing else really seems to work. My mom would freak if I told her I don't want to really go for the college plan.

Here's one of my questions, what counsel has been given about having a little bit of education like that for back up before marriage? I want a safety net but I don't think that is the only way to have one.

I guess I didn't word it well. I meant if I didn't now, I would when my kids are older and I have time.

Yes, I would only have the high school diploma. I don't know if having education for a career would be neccesary if I plan on staying home with my kids and taking care of the house.

As for praying, I figured and I have tried but I still don't know what to do. I am leaning for towards just my future family but I'm not totally certain for many reasons. It would cause lots of problems with both our families I think. His sibs aren't totally for it for a long time despite how we get along and my family is relunctant given my parents history and statistics

I think you should get some education as soon as you can. It doesn't need to be any sort of master's degree or anything, but at least get something done. I know I'd like the assurance that if anything happened to me while in the Air Force (i.e. death or injury), my wife would be able to survive, with or without me there. I would want my wife to have some sort of schooling other than a high school diploma. Just some advice from a guy's perspective.

Get your education. As you said, it's just a year program and you can do that while you wait for whatever is next in your life, be it marriage, and a family or just a long while of waiting for your families. You could start the year program, get married, (assuming that alone took at least three months) and start a family soon-ish after your program ended.

Honestly though, say you didn't, and simply married and started a family. What if then your husband died/was seriously injured and all the sudden you needed to support your young kids and the two of you? It's simply safer to get more of an education, especially in these days.

I suggest getting more education as soon as possible. President Hinckley counsels all women to obtain an education.

I got married halfway through college. I continued going to school, even though I got pregnant and had a baby less than a year later. I have half a year left for college, and I have one baby and another on the way. I won't lie. It's hard leaving my baby with a babysitter and going to school. I would drop everything if it meant i could stay at home with my little girl.
HOWEVER, I am taking the Prophet's advice and becoming as educated as I can. I love learning, but more than that, you never know what the future holds or if anything will happen to your husband that cuts out your source of income for survival. My husband also wants me to get a college degree.

Another thing you said is that you don't see the value of an education if you're just going to stay home? There is A TON of value in an education, no matter what you do! If you stay home with the kids, your education will help their education. Also, you want to be the best example for your children you can be, and if you don't get an education, they will use you as an excuse for why they shouldn't get one.

In addition to praying about it, and seriously considering the advice of everyone and their stories, I suggest talking to your fiance.

But don't just think about the present. Take a lesson from the Scouts and "be prepared."

If I where in your position I would go ahead and get married. You can still go to school and be a wife. As far as children you can always hold off on having kids a year why you go to school. But if married your husband can help suport you in school and you can develop in your relationship and marrige to each other. There is no rule that says you have to concive the moment your married.
I would get married and do my first year in school. Then worry about children. and as stated above when you do start having kids you can always do online clases.
I think you are trying to look at this as being a black and white situation but really its colored. You dont have to chose one over the other you can do both.

My main reason for saying this is I feel that once the decision has been made to get married you should be planning the wedding and such. alot of unforseen things can happen. For example when I got engaged me and my fiance first planned to get married in january. however she had an oprotunity to take this big promotion at work which was going to take up alot of her time. She took the promotion and we had to reschedual a date for our wedding. Now we are having all sorts of problems as far as getting a date set. I got orders to move to a unit in germany in april which is before our reschedualed wedding date in may. because of the army and its policies she has to be my wife before I go to germany in order to live there with me. So now we are both getting really frustrated trying to figure out what to do. had we gotten married in january as originaly planed we wouldnt have the issues we have now.
not that it was bad for her to take that permotion but as a result of her doing so. not only has it put a big damper on our wedding plans but she has been misreable with all the extra work.
Satan dosent wnat us happy if you put off your wedding who knows what could happen. but if you go ahead with it. you can still go to school for a year. you should spend a little time getting to know each other before you start having kids anyway.

in short I suggest you both get married and go to school. just hold off on having children till after that year of school.
however as stated in the above post be sure to finish what you start. my mother started her family and didnt finish school till she was over 50. I give her alot of respect and props for going to school at such an old age but it wasnt easy for her. anyway those are some thigns to think about.

Knowledge is always good to have, period. Also I was reading in Docterine and Covenants last night that the knowledge we have will rise with us to heaven, so why not take all you can get? smile

As a side note to Jerish: many career women give up their jobs to be stay at home moms. Just because someone is a housewife does not meet that they are ignorant. You probably didn't intend anything by your statement but let's not use phrases like "ignorant housewife." It's denigrating to a very important, not to mention tough, position.

Just for general discussion's sake:

The things a successful homemaker needs to master:
1) Nutrition -- ideally, meals are healthful as well as appetizing. That takes knowledge of nutrition, kitchen management skills and shopping acumen. Unfortunatly, healthful food tends to be more expensive than junk and most starting families can't afford to buy whatever they want. The shopper has to have an eye for bargains and a wide knowledge of food and what to do with food.

2) Sanitation -- a clean room isn't just something your mom complains about. Though some people, like me, need an uncluttered home for the sake of their sanity there are even more important things to consider. Such as dust and mold; they're not just allergens. Some molds are toxic and can cause illness or death. Asthma is on the rise because people's systems are overloaded by air pollution. You need to keep your home as irritant-free as you can. Piles of clutter are a fire hazard, both for being the cause of fires and for hindering escape efforts during a fire.

3) Organization -- a place for everything and everything in its place. It's either that or spend 3/4 of your life looking for things or being interuppted in whatever else you were doing by your kids or spouse asking you for the location of something. Plus there's the typical juggling act of getting your kid to school, getting the shopping done, picking the kid up from school, getting home and having dinner ready to eat so everyone can eat together before everyone dives off for extra-curricular activities.

4) Child Psychology and Pediatrics -- little kids are not just small adults. You need to know what you can expect them to understand, what behaviour you can reasonably expect from your children and how to teach them. You need to be able to tell the difference between a child having a few bad days at school and a child having serious problems. You have to judge if a sick child needs a doctor's visit or not. You have to instill in these children codes of behaviour and ethics and a love of the Gospel.

... all that, and more, AND you have a relationship with your spouse to keep alive, your own mental health to consider and interests to pursue.

Your average housewife may or may not have the kind of knowledge that comes with a fancy piece of paper or a big salary but they know quite a lot of other things. It's just that our society takes for granted those who ensure it runs smoothely.