Welcome to Gaia! ::

1. Love spells are usually a bad idea. They either won't work, or they won't work they way you think they should.

2. I don't work with oils, period. I know your supposed to anoint your candles, but I don't. Fireman's daughter. Oil+fire=bad. The idea gives me nightmares about my alter going up in a column of flame. My spells still work fine, however.

It's called an attractive and desirable personality.

Mmmm, cheesecake.

uhh i love cheesecake, is it bad if I eat their cheesecake?

I love you so much.

Right. Since I don't feel like making a call to Georgia for extortion purposes (today), here's one from The Joy of Cooking. Mind you, good cheesecake can be a bit fussy to make, so follow the directions *exactly*.

Crumb Crust Ingredients:
1.5cups chocolate wafers (cookies), crushed
6Tbs melted butter
1/4cup sugar
1/4tsp cinnamon (optional - gives it a Mexican flair; if you're going for traditional chocolate orgasmic goodness, skip it)

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees (F).
2. Lightly grease a 9-inch springform or cake pan (springform is hella easier to get the finished cake out of, but not everybody has one).
3. Mix all the ingredients together with a fork or food processor until moistened.
4. Spread the mixture evenly in the pan. Using your fingers or the bottom of a glass, press the mixture over the bottom and 1/2" up the sides of the pan.
5. Bake until lightly browned and firm to the touch, 10-15 minutes. Make sure it's still hot when you add the cheesecake filling (as follows).


Chocolate Cheesecake Ingredients:
8oz. bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
1/3cup boiling water
1lb. cream cheese
2/3cup sugar
1tsp vanilla (you *can* add more vanilla - and for the love of god use real vanilla extract, preferably in bourbon, not artificial crappy-a** vanilla-flavored extract, or the goddess of cheescake and orgasms will hunt you down and remove your pleasure center)
3 large eggs
2cups sour cream
1Tbs unsweetened cocoa

1. Keep the oven at 350F.
2. Place the chopped chocolate in a small bowl and pour in the boiling water; stir until the chocolate is melted and smooth.
3. In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese just until smooth (30-60 seconds). Scrape the sides of the bowl and the beaters well.
4. Gradually add the sugar and vanilla to the cream cheese and beat until smooth and creamy, 1-2 minutes.
5. Beat in the eggs one at a time, just until incorporated, scraping the sides of the bowl and the beaters after each addition (else you'll get cooked egg-white chunks attached to the beaters and getting mixed into the cake - they don't taste bad, but the texture is nasty).
6. Beat in the sour cream and cocoa.
7. Add the warm melted chocolate mixture and beat on low speed just until well blended.
8. Scrape the batter into the crust (which is still hot, remember?) and smooth the top. Place the pan on a baking sheet (keeps drips off the bottom of the oven, which smells awful and sets off smoke alarms).
9. Bake until the edges of the cake have puffed but the center still looks moist and jiggles when the pan is tapped, 35-40 minutes.
10. Turn off the oven, prop the oven door ajar with a wooden spoon or some such, and let the cheesecake cool in the oven for 1 hour. This is not the same as letting it cool in the oven with the door closed, so don't let anyone near the oven during that hour.
11. Remove to a rack (that will keep the cake from turning to a ballistic weapon as it finishes cooling), and let it cool completely before unmolding. Cover and refrigerate for at least 6 hours, preferably a full day, before serving. For serious chocolate flavor, refrigerate that puppy for two full days.


Woot. I am the sorceress supreme, and I have divulged to you the one truly effective love spell. Don't applaud, just throw money. Naming your firstborn after me is also a nice touch.

Quit yer bitchin' and make the damn cheesecake.