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GtHb

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:11 pm


Brothers...



Hidden in the debths of a cavern ten leagues under the sea is a crystal, mounted on a mantle based off of a flower. The crystal is no ordinary one, for it creates the aura of the deep blue sea. It is known as.....The Ice Orb. Ten thousands years ago a man named Akista and his fellow followers found the orb on the base of beach. They all looked at the ocean to see it was black and its texture was gone. Curious, one of the men touched it and, shockingly, he was turned into an ice statue of his figure. Knowing of the power, Akista and his followers threw the orb into the sea and let it float down to the depths where it will shine bright, giving the deep blue sea its aura back. It now sits there for all eternity. What will happen to it now, be found by some good-doer or an evil-doer? Let destiny decide.

What do you think of the description? I want to enter this avatar into the arena. Please any help with it is greatly appreciated.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:17 pm


This is a Public Service Announcment




...Mounted on a mantle based off of a flower.

..bright, giving the deep blue sea (no comma) its aura back.

Also, try to give the readers something else. Like..."Will anyone ever search the sea's depths for this amazing power? Will it be found again? Will it be used for good...or evil?"

Its a really creative idea!





This has been a Public Serivce announcmentUser Image

Cherry Ave


Hirun Hikari

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:17 pm


Where have I heard the name Akista before? ... hrmmm...

HirunHikari
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:23 pm


Brothers...



Cherry - I just fixed the spelling errors I'll go back and put those things in. Thanks!


Hirun - It was supposed to be Akira but that's a username and Akista popped in my head.


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GtHb


GtHb

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:27 pm


Brothers...



There fixed up a little.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:28 pm


.+:{User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.}:+.

QUICK ENTER IT.

People look at the entry number sense we all know there will be more then one of these.

Merumiharu

IRL Cat

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GtHb

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:30 pm


Merumiharu
.+:{User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.}:+.

QUICK ENTER IT.

People look at the entry number sense we all know there will be more then one of these.

Brothers...



I will but is it good or what? Is it? Is it?

*Shakes Meru till her head falls off.*


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:31 pm


This is a Public Service Announcment




"They all looked at the ocean to see it was black and its texture was gone. Curious, one of the men touched it" < Try to make it more obvious that the guy's touching the ice orb and not the ocean.

he was turned into an ice statue of his figure The last part is not needed as it is redundant.

I love the additions, it seems to give it more of a conclusion ^w^





This has been a Public Serivce announcmentUser Image

Cherry Ave


GtHb

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:34 pm


[Cherry.Wine]
This is a Public Service Announcment




"They all looked at the ocean to see it was black and its texture was gone. Curious, one of the men touched it" < Try to make it more obvious that the guy's touching the ice orb and not the ocean.

he was turned into an ice statue of his figure The last part is not needed as it is redundant.

I love the additions, it seems to give it more of a conclusion ^w^





This has been a Public Serivce announcmentUser Image


Brothers...



How about this?:

"Curious, one of the men touched the orb of purity and, shockingly, he was turned into an ice statue."


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:35 pm


If touching the ice orb makes people turn to ice, how did they manage to push it into the sea? O.o

Scelero


korikun the cat

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:36 pm


Scelero
If touching the ice orb makes people turn to ice, how did they manage to push it into the sea? O.o
They pushed it with a stick.
PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:36 pm


korikun the cat
Scelero
If touching the ice orb makes people turn to ice, how did they manage to push it into the sea? O.o
They pushed it with a stick.


A pretty stick?!

Scelero


Hirun Hikari

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:38 pm


Scelero
korikun the cat
Scelero
If touching the ice orb makes people turn to ice, how did they manage to push it into the sea? O.o
They pushed it with a stick.


A pretty stick?!


A SHORT STAFF! biggrin

HirunHikari
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:38 pm


HirunHikari
Scelero
korikun the cat
Scelero
If touching the ice orb makes people turn to ice, how did they manage to push it into the sea? O.o
They pushed it with a stick.


A pretty stick?!


A SHORT STAFF! biggrin

HirunHikari
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GASP!!-Chokegaspdead-

Scelero


GtHb

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:38 pm


Brothers...



Ok I'm entering it. Is it ok before I hit 'Submit'?


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-The Snipéd 'D'- [Off Topic Discussion]

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