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* Things NOT to say to the nice police officer
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me!
Good job!

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

Bad cop! No donut!

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?

Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?

I pay your salary!

So, uh, you on the take, or what?

Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.

What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?

I honestly dislike cops because every time I encounter them I get a ticket.

And the last time they didn't give a fig about anyone's safety.

Then again I live outside of St. Louis. Our crime is horrendous and the police force is both racist and corrupt.

So pardon my biases.

yeah but the last time I got a ticket it really wasn't my fault.

I didn't break the law. There were actually no witnesses to what happened at the accident.

The people at the traffic law center said the ticket I got written (failure to yield) was simply a revenue issue.

Besides, how can I fail to yield making a right turn after checking for oncoming traffic, into a two lane entrance ramp in which someone making a left turn was turning into the left lane. >.< Not to mention after I called to report the accident 2-3 cops drove right pass the scene and didn't bother to stop and see if everything was ok. The woman whose car collided in mine had to pick up her child from school.

I'm sorry but I've heard about a lot of racist cops profiling my friends who weren't white. I absolutely abhor racism.

I know there are good cops out there. But St. Louis is known as one of the most dangerous cities in the USA.

Not to diss on cops. But there are abuses of power.

I love firefighters though, and I adore EMTs, Nurses, Doctors, Teachers, and Garbage Men.

lmao hahaha what happens if it is broken and they didn't believe you???

I got pulled over in Gary indiana.. . I was apparently doing about 95 in a 75. . . going down hill. . . after passing a slow moving truck and the train of cars that had also passed it. . .

I was going faster so I could get a good safe distance in front of the other cars before chaning lanes, I sense a car on my tail so, realizing I was far ennough ahead of the cars I was trying to pass I turn my turn signal on and go to get over. . .

while getting over I look up in my rear view mirror, and go "oh good think I'm getting over, it's an emergency vehical. . . wait no. . . I'm being pulled over. . . "

turn to my cousin tell him to get out my registration out of my glove compartment and he hasn't a clue what's going on. . .


I ended up with just a warning. . . probably because I was on my way home to cincinnati from chicago. . .

I probably should have gotten a ticket, and was lucky that I didn't. . .

Unfortunately, I've heard a handful of african american friends swap stories about the St. Louis cops. Many were pulled over for what they lovingly refer to as "DWB" (Driving while black for those who don't know). I mean one of them was a poet named Sean, upright guy, father, and an overall advocate for peace and opening minds. Unfortunately all the police officer saw was a tall african american man with long dredlocks. I've heard this happen to other friends, most of the time not breaking any laws, but then the police will inspect their car looking for anything they can catch them on. This has also happened to two of my friends for being out of state. Even if you have nothing to get written up for, you still must imagine the amount of time lost, the stress, and the overall harrassment that ensues.

We don't like to believe that racism occurs, but it does in many subtle ways. It's not to say cops are any more racist than another citizen. However, they are in a position of power and it is very difficult to deliver the same repercussions onto them.

I'd like to say that the American justice system is good. However I do recall two years back when one of my friends was strangled by her (then) fiance, while she was pregnant with her child. She survived, but she had bruises where he was strangling her. During her fiance's rampage he also slashed police tires.

They dismissed the assualt charges, overlooked that a woman and her unborn child's lives were at risk, that damage could have been done to the baby. But they made sure as heck that the charges for the damaged tires would be pressed.

Money meant more than the value of life.

As for the comments someone made about people waiting for handouts. I tend to take offense from that. I went to college on a cocktail of student loans, grants, work study, and scholarships. If it wasn't for "handouts" I wouldn't have a bachelors degree now, and would have been punished for being born a blue collar man's daughter. I worked my tail off and got straight As and juggled multiple jobs. Meanwhile the rich girls got Cs and Ds in their classes, worked no jobs, and went out partying every weekend. Sometimes those of us whose government aid is dependent on our grades work the hardest. There are some bad seeds out there, but for some of us government programs level the playing field and allow us to move up in the world through hard work and dedication.

I once walked to a cop and said that I have always wanted to hug a cop rofl . He did give mea hug, but I knew him so it was okay

Well, I figure since we have all gone to a serious side since we were all supposed to be laughing at the jokes, I figure I would try to clear the air a little and make everyone laugh again.

My husband and his friend graduated from academy, he was going to start working for the prison down here, that night after his graduation we went out to a friends open lot that he had and we took a bunch to drink with us. The guy that was loaning us the plot for the party said his good nights and told us all to have a good time and not worry about anything. Well need less to say it was like 3 or 4 in the morning and we were still going strong having blast. I am not 21 yet, I am only 20, but my husband is 21 so in the state of Texas as long as he is with me I am legal to drink. Well, to make a long story short, the cops ended up showing up, and I am pretty s**t faced to say the least, no I wasn't staggering around or anything, but we had been making jokes earlier in the night about them being correctional occifers instead of officers..... so the cops show up and what are the first words that roll out of my mouth.... "what can we do for you occifer??" no I am not drunk, not drunk at all.... well he check all of our ids and since my hubby was with me everything was cool, but the cop proceeded to ask us who the land belonged to and we had to try to get a hold of him... anyways, the night went fine and we slept in the blazer and went home in the morning...... it was fun.!

Anways, if you ever feel like pissing a cop off, call him an occifer instead of an officer..... they don't take to kindly to it!!!