Welcome to Gaia! ::

Welcome to Florida


It's current day Earth... Well, not for long. But we'll get to that later. Homeless people find some of the most wonderful things, you know? Like just the other day. This man was proclaiming that there was a portal to another dimension. Inside the "Welcome to Florida" sign. Now how could someone manage to fit another dimension in the tiny little space? Weelll... That's what our heroes wondered...

Character Sheet

Anything in Parantheses and the Parantheses themselves >( )< (These are what they look like, just in case you fell off the short bus ^_^) should be removed before PMing me your profile. Or I'll squish you to within an inch of your life.

Mebbe something.

(Saved for something in the future. Mebbe...)

Johnathan stretches and turns on the "Lawn Beast" with all his gardening tools inside. He begins to drive back to his apartment. Stopping at his Dad's had made him late getting back to his apartment but Al shouldn't mind. It wouldn't be the first time Johnathan had been held up, and it most certainly wouldn't be the last. Johnathan cranks the radio and goes blasting off down the road. It was a nice day, clear blue skies, the middle of Spring, the entire atmosphere had a sense of calm about it. Johnathan began reminiscing as he drove about the old days, when he'd spend a day like this outside playing in the forest near his parents' old house. But times change, and he had some shows he wanted to see before he settled down for some serious gaming. Speaking of which. Johnathan looks down at the radio clock. 4:47. That meant his show would be on in 13 minutes and he was still ten minutes away from home, and that's when he got caught in traffic. Everything was crawling at a snail's pace, and Johnathan was exhausted. He frowns and at the next opportunity pulls off the main road and into a parking lot where he turns off the van and leans his seat back and stares at the ceiling of the van. "What a day. Well, there goes my careful planning." Now what? The traffic's backed up for miles, and moving at this rate there'll probably be nothing to do for a while. I could go to the bank, get some cash, hit a bar? Maybe a club...? Nah... So what then? There's gotta be something... Johnathan yawns and stretches his arms before putting his hands up behind his head. Well maybe... I could. Y'know. Uhm. Johnathan falls asleep...

Several hours later Johnathan jumps awake and looks about, startled, it's dark and the traffic's cleared up, just then a man knocks on his window, a rather scraggly looking fellow. "Oh Good! You're awake! I almost thought you'd died in there except for the breathing!" Johnathan's eyes go wide and he jumps backwards, nearly falling over the arm rest inbetween the seats. "Who are you!?" The scraggly-looking man grins with what few teeth he has left. "Me? I'm nobody special. Although you'd think otherwise with what I've found, ohhhh the Lord works in mysterious ways sonny. I tell you that." Johnathan arches an eyebrow at this. "I'm not giving you any money." "And I wouldn't want you to! I want you to come with me. I've got something to show you!" The scraggly man begins bouncing up and down and clapping. "I just want a witness! Someone to prove I've not lost my mind!" Johnathan growls. "What if I thought you'd lost your mind?" "Who's spending his free-time conversing with a homeless man through his window?" Johnathan frowns and unlocks the doors. "Get in and show me what you're talking about." the scraggly man laughs and claps and gets in the passenger-side seat. "I knew I'd find you. I had a dream that I'd find you y'know." "Are you sure you're all here old man?" "Ohhh yes. You surely can't tell me you've never had a premonition in a dream?" Johnathan thinks for a moment. "Well... There was one time when I was a kid... But I thought that was just a fluke." "Ohhh no no, you have the gift. Just about everyone does! Perhaps if you train it, you may some day be able to predict the future as well as I can!" Johnathan's frown grows larger and he turns on the vehicle. "Just start giving me directions." Johnathan and the scraggly-looking man drive for a little over an hour, the homeless man seemingly continually forgetting where he was going. Johnathan was just about to give up as the man pointed out a discarded sign on the side of the road. A road-sign reading "Welcome to Florida" The sign had several bullet-holes in it and was severely dented. The posts were still attached as if someone had ripped it clean off the road. "This? This is what you wanted to show me?" The scraggly man chuckles and motions towards the sign. "It's not the sign itself. It's what's inside the sign." "Inside the sign? You're sure you haven't lost it? It's just an old road-sign, there's nothing inside it." "If you're so sure. Go touch it." Johnathan turns the van off and takes the keys out, glancing sideward at the homeless man, he checks the padlock on the door that leads into the back of the van, and, finding it secure, steps out of the vehicle and up to the sign. A police siren wails in the distance and several dogs can be heard barking in and around the neighborhood. Johnathan walks up to the sign and puts his hand to it. Or... Tried to. As he put his hand against the metal it went straight through. He pulls his arm back and it appears to be covered in raspberry jam. Johnathan's eyes grow huge at this and he looks at the sign, it still appeared to just be a normal sign. He wipes the jam off on a patch of grass and puts his arm through the sign again, he brings it back out and it's covered, again, in raspberry jam. "Oh this is Too Weird!" The old man laughs as he exits the vehicle. "Hahah! I've not lost it! I'm completely sane! Heehee!" The man jumps in the air and clicks the heels of his worn out shoes. Johnathan arches an eyebrow at the sign. "We've gotta tell more people about this..."

Chade Fallstar... I mean Damien sweatdrop Grunts as he gets to his feet, leaning of the toilet bowl and looking down at the little girl he just asissted. "Mommy! Mommy!" The little gilr bellowed at the top of her lungs and darted out of the bathroom. Nice joint... Damien thought as he peered about the bathroom. It seeme'd to be only recently newly renovated, and the tiles across the wall ran in a sort of Twining pattern about the base of the bath, sink, and shower. His eye's stoped to linger on the overhung bra left so carlessly across the towlrack.
"You all done then?" Ask'd a newvoice from the bathroom door. Damien turned to look at the woman and ran his eyes quickly down her slender body, She was well tanned and her dark hazzel hair contrasted well with the brightness of her blue eye's. Her limb's lean yet musscled, could be seen as she used her right shoulder to lean on the door and peer down at him. Her hands came up to her chest and quickly crossed over it, raising her breasts slightly and waiting with a quizzicle look. "Just about, i just have to re-open the valve to allow the water threw again, and throw my things back together." Damien said as he turned away from the woman and knelt down beside the toilet bowl. A dark flush quickly ran up to heat his cheeks. Dame... i'd tap that, if only i wasent working her toilet...

Close to half an hour later, Damien stood outside the woman's appartment door. "Thank's for the help" She said with a smile and ran her hand down his left arm. Damien tensed his arm and tightened his grip around the pole he held "err.. yeah, it was nothing." Say something you idiot.. "uhm... does your toilet backup often?" oooh god.... She cracked her lips apart and let out a laugh "Not as often as i'd like" In a smooth movment she brought out a Silver card from her front pocket and held it out to Damien. "Err.. just slip it into my pocket" he shrugged with both his hands full. The woman steped out from her doorframe, the door almost closing behind her but stoping just before the 'Click', and right up to Damien sliping not only the card but her hand into his backpocket and giving his Buttocks a good squeez, whilist leaning her face up to his "Call me.." She whispered in his ear and planted him a soft kiss on the cheek before reterning to the door.

As he was walking down the apartment's stair's he grinned "Im to smooth..." . Kicking of the last step's he jumped down the 3 and began a light jog out the apartment complex and round the side to his parked ute. As he neared his vehicle he looked up at the apartment's he just came from, almost slaming into his ute. He stoped for a moment, you know when you have thoses rare times that you just stop and step back to look at whats happening and where you are and stuff? well thats what our Damien here did and he had to smile to himself, he had a good job, the pay was good, the work not bad, he had his own place, a vehicle, and veriouse other things ran threw his head that kept the same smile from the stairs, spread across his face. As he came back from koo koo land though, he noticed a woman (Tori) gawking at something across the road, before running over. He watches as a figure near a sighn that made no sence waved his hand about, it was covered in something red... and there was a haggered bumb beside him claping. Blood? He griped his pole and toolbox and started to walk tawords them...

Johnathan spins about to address the girl and sees two other people already headed his way. "The universe granted your wish!" "Damnit old man! ... Yes. I do believe it would be in our best interest to let other people know about this, but y'know... Uhm... There's already the four of us..." Johnathan backs away from the group that was forming and in an attempt to look cool and collected he leans backwards... Against the sign... Losing his balance, Johnathan falls through the sign with a cry of "Ohhh Shi-!" And then all that's left outside of the sign are his feet. The feet disappear momentarily and then Johnathan dives back outside of the sign. "Holy... Sonofa... There's uhm..." Johnathan leans down on his knees as he tries to catch his breath. "Talking creampuffs! Hundreds of them!" Johnathan walks back to his gardening van and promptly unlocks the back door, opening it wide he takes out a pair of hedge-clippers and, crawling all the way to the back of the van, he taps the floorboard and a small slot reveals itself, he pulls the sheet of wood out of the way and pulls his electric guitar out and slings it over his back. He scrabbles through a few more odd things and comes out with a few cans of pesticide, a bag of fertilizer, and a gardening trowel, also, a tool belt which he stores all of this in, except the fertilizer, which he ties twine around and straps to his arm like a shield, holding the hedge-clippers in the other arm like a sword. Johnathan scrambles back out of the back of his van and motions to the rest of the gardening tools. "If anybody needs a weapon... The Puffs might be peaceful... But it's better to be armed and prepared than to walk blindly into a situation... That could be dangerous... And full of strange and wonderful creatures. OOH! I wonder if there's Centaurs!?" Johnathan dives back through the sign.

Meanwhile. On the other side of the Welcome to Florida sign, the expanse was massive and seemed rather lengthy. Johnathan turns back around to look at the exit point and slides the hedge-clippers into the collar of his jumpsuit. A gigantic jar of raspberry jam with the words "Retirement Home" Printed on a humongous label in tiny little letters. Johnathan looks around a bit more, the Creampuffs had disappeared. "But... It wasn't any more than a few minutes ago..." Johnathan moves away from the jar to allow everyone else through... That's when he realized he was coated in Raspberry jam. "How'd I get through the jar then?..." Johnathan walks Back to the jar, and pokes it. The substance keeping the jelly inside was no thicker than Jello. Johnathan passes his arm through it again and pulls it back out. The arm passes through the substance just as easy as before, and after Johnathan pulls his arm back the substance reforms, leaving a bit of it's clear substance on his arm... "I do say! What're you doing down there?" The jar rotates about and a rather large pair of eyes sit atop the lid, the lid moving with the jar's every word. "Well? Speak up for yourself man!" Johnathan's eyes bug out and he begins running in circles around the jar screaming "Talking Jam!!"

Aysel stood behind the counter at the local book store. She was reading her sociology text book. Man, I have a test tommorow, she thought. She groaned softly. "Something wrong?" A customer said. He was standing opposite her in front of the counter. She jumped. How long had he been standing there? His eyes showed amusement. As she scanned the books he wished to purchase, she eyed him. Then finally gave in. "I have an exam for one of my classes tommorow." She told him. He nodded sympathetically, motioning for her to continue. "I just have no time." She sighed, before smiling, "But I don't want to bring you down with my problems." She told him the amount he owed her and he paid. "Have a wonderful night and thank you."

An hour later, Ay got in her honda and was driving away. She put on one of her favorite radio station and sung along with it. She almost didn't see the cars that were stopped by the side of the road. She shut off her music with a quick jab with her fingure and with a concerned expression pulled to a stop. Aysel got out of her car and walked quickly. "Are you guys okay?" She asked.

Johnathan, while running and screaming, trips over the prostrate Sapien and comes crashing to the ground, finding suddenly that the dark substance covering the ground is not Dirt, but rather, cinnamon. This creates a bit of a problem as when Johnathan hit the ground he got it in his eyes, nose, and mouth. He somersaults forward, and onto his feet and begins squeaking about how much it "Burns", squirming across the ground and clutching at his face, Johnathan realizes something and stands up hastily, staring at the jar lid with his red eyes. "Everything in this room is food!" the Jar spins around until it's facing Johnathan and it stares at him like he's lost his mind. "My God man, you'd eat dirt, a nursing home, and creampuffians? Barbaric! Sickening! You sir are a Vile excuse for a doorknob!" "I'm not a doorknob! You're a jar of jam! And they're creampuffs! Aand that's cinnamon!" "He's lost his mind! Gone completely mad! They're all mad! With their, strange devices and other such things!" "These aren't strange devices... Most of what I've got is purely for gardening..." "Oh yes, what are you to do? Trim the shrubbery around here? That's what we have cats for." "Erm... Cats trim shrubbery?" "Of course cats trim shrubbery! That's what the government appointed them to do! Here, let me show you mine." The lid spits out a small glob of jam and inside there appears to be a small furry thing... Johnathan moves a little closer to it to investigate and the thing bolts out of the Jam, sending little bits and pieces of fruit and preservatives flying everywhere, the small furry thing is a blur as it goes about at immense speeds circling a small area once before scurrying up the side of the jar of jam and disappearing back underneath the lid. "What... The... HELL!?" "What? Haven't seen a cat before? You people disgust me! With your constant talking and your never shutting up and your disgusting eating habits and so many other things I can't even BEGIN to rant ENOUGH about! I Want You OUT!" "But the only way out is through..." "OUT!!!" Johnathan backs away from the jar slowly and falls promptly through a hidden trapdoor, bringing an entire cinnamon-covered woven rug with him down a sleek metal tube. The sound of sliding can be heard for a while through the tube, then a soft thud. Followed by a high-pitched scream... Vocalized as such... "AHHHHHH!!! SPRINKLERS!!!"