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 Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 8:14 am
Yes, I posted this in the actual forum for Gaia, as well, but I REALLY like this poem! Tell me what you think!
Wrote this just this morning while thinking about a character for a story-
Tell me what you see
Take a quick peek all around
And tell me what you see.
The sky, the grass, the clouds above,
The birds, the bugs, the trees.
They're beautiful to behold, it's true,
But just listen to this plea.
Close your eyes and look around.
Now tell me what you see.
Can you hear the whispers of
The moving air nearby?
Can you smell the scent of plants
As they move across the sky?
Can you taste the hint of storms
That're slowly drawing near?
Can you feel the kiss of the wind
on your face, your hands, your ear?
Your eyes can lie and do deceive,
And trick your mind, your heart,
But your other senses, all combined,
Can make a work of art.
So think me strange if you'd really like,
but take me up on my plea.
Close your eyes and look around.
Now, tell me what you see.
~Kuro Yoake, 9/13/06
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Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 2:14 pm
i liked it but i think the second section could use some work but its good
Nice Job
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Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 8:45 pm
I agree. Very well done.
Edit the second stanza when you find the right words.
You should try and get this published.
Vale,
-LD
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