Leavaros

Leavaros's avatar

Last Login: 09/03/2011 10:46 pm

Registered: 10/21/2006

Gender: Male

Location: Florida

Birthday: 08/24/1990

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glorybaby Report | 02/03/2010 5:03 pm
Long time no see! I'm preggers and due July 30th.
TwilightTenshi Report | 08/24/2009 5:12 pm
Meh meh smile Happy Birthday!
glorybaby Report | 07/15/2009 8:11 pm
Hey hey. Long time no see. I'm trying to play on here with my little sister over the summer lol
Sl1pstr3am2010 Report | 12/01/2008 10:42 pm
*randomly glomps*
Sl1pstr3am2010 Report | 10/15/2008 11:42 am
how goes the college life?
The Unagreeable Mongoose Report | 05/26/2008 8:33 am
Oh my god, I love your poetry so much! All of it is so beautiful!
Trista Maleaux Report | 05/25/2008 4:55 pm
"What Matters Now" is splendid! It warms my heart and strengthens my resolve to recognize every next soul aligned to Gaea's path. I stand her Einherjar at the edge of Ragnarok.
Orfea Report | 02/26/2008 6:33 pm
Your poetry is positively enchanting.
BumpersBump Report | 02/12/2008 8:11 pm
Hi :3
NolaIvory Report | 02/11/2008 10:18 pm
Hello, Brother. Long time no see. lol
 

Love and Vale Compositions

Seasonal & Celestial Poetry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wintery Woods
Luna's Lullaby
Celestia

Perceptional Poetry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What Matters Now
Questions for the Dead
My Sunny Little Paradise

Personal Poetry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lover's Prayer
Dreamweaver
Remembering Mama
Belonging
Let Love In
Elegy to a Cat
Duty
Lover's Memory
Finding A Prayer For Peace
To My Heart-Family

Signature

Lea,
The Physical Embodiment of Rainbows,
Bestowed by Tommy,
The Goddess of Laughter and Dreams.

User Image

Perceptional Poetry

"Dreamweaver"
Weave me a dream, Dreamweaver,
Of Dawn's pink light and of cottony clouds.
Weave me a dream, Dreamweaver,
Of golden plains and of ancient oaks.
Weave me a dream, Dreamweaver,
Of richest Earth and slightest breeze.
Weave me a dream, Dreamweaver,
That I may find my peace.

Weave me a dream, Dreamweaver,
Of shining Sea, and of glittering sands.
Weave me a dream, Dreamweaver,
Of whitest dunes and of swaying palms.
Weave me a dream, Dreamweaver,
Of mellow waves and salty winds.
Weave me a dream, Dreamweaver,
That I may find my peace.

Weave me a dream, Dreamweaver,
Of changing Sky and of roaming clouds,
Weave me a dream, Dreamweaver,
Of Earth and Sea together at last.
Weave me a dream, Dreamweaver,
Of sunshine and moonglow as one,
Weave me a dream, Dreamweaver,
That I may find my peace.
----------------------
"What Matters Now"
Everything is different now.
If I try--really try--
I can feel the wind pulse,
And the sap flow in a tree,
And the rhythmic breath of someone near.

But they think everything is the same.
They must--because still they chatter,
Squabbling over the little things,
As life's majesty passes them by.

But not me. Never me.
I embrace the steady beat of Gaea's heart,
And Celestia's steady breath,
And the orchestra of a thousand souls,

Human and Beast and Wood,
And Stone and River and Mountain,
And Cloud and Sun and Moon and Stars,
And all that is.

Everything else,
All the little trivial matters
Matter not.

Not anymore.
Never again.
---------------------

Personal Poetry

"Lover's Prayer"
You are everything I can't be,
And strive to be,
And love.
And in my weak moments,
I envy you,
And want you.
But then I remember.
The way your hair flips,
At the end, regally.
The way your lips twitch,
When you speak.
The way your eyes twinkle,
When you laugh.
And I know,
That in my Heart of Hearts,
I love you, perhaps against my will,
But I love you even so.
And even if I can never have you,
Even if I can never hold you,
I will always remember.
And in my Heart of Hearts,
Whenever I think of you,
I pray a little prayer,
And send it on the winds,
That all the gods may grant it,
For your strength,
For your health,
For your safety,
For your love.
That you may be everything,
That I could never be,
And be it well,
For goodness,
For memory,
For you.
For me.
And for all of us.
And I pray,
In my Heart of Hearts,
That you find someone,
Who has done as much for you,
As you have for me,
That you learn,
As I did,
That reason and passion can be mixed,
That trust accompanies self-questioning,
That self-acceptance is the start of self-love,
That being open is the only path to true happiness,
And above all,
That love is never wrong,
Because it is the start of all good.
This is my prayer for you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Belonging"
Once, I belonged to myself,
A forever ago.

But then I met my Parents,
and they taught me,
and guided me,
and I was theirs,
heart and soul.

Then I met my Brothers and Sisters,
and we grew together,
like vines up the same tree,
and we loved one another,
and grew close.

Then I met my Friends,
and they helped me,
and I them,
and we knew one another
completely.

The I met my Lover,
and we grew together,
intertwined,
like the twin trees
of Tristan and Isolde.

I once belonged to myself,
and walked my path in loneliness,
but somewhere along the way,
others joined me, and our hearts beat as one.

I once was alone,
but never again.

I learned many things,
and a few times,
my heart was spent.
A few times, the path ended,
And those times taught me to fly.
A few times my heart cried,
but not for me.

Now I walk with spirits,
in a realm that I didn't know existed,
in my Heart of Hearts,
and I used to grasp their hand,
but lately, they have grasped mine.

I don't belong to myself,
and I never want to again.

And though tears sparkle
brightly on my cheeks,
like diamonds in a desert,
that's okay by me.

I simply smile and say,
"Water is precious,
Fresh air is a luxury,
and Life is a treasure."

"This is the Lesson of the Desert.
I learned it from a Great Lion."

And though tears shine
brightly on my cheeks
like moonlight on snow,
that's okay by me.

I simple smile and say,
"Night is underrated,
Sleep should never be protested,
and Dreams should be cherished."

"This is the Lesson of Midnight.
I learned it from a Silver Soul."

And though tears glitter
on my cheeks,
like dawn's light on sandy beaches,
that's okay by me.

I simply smile and say,
"I don't mind the Roar of the wind,
or the Protests of the waves,
or Sacrifice.
After all, the Beach is more fun with friends."

"This is the Lesson of the Beach,
I learned it from the strongest woman I ever knew."

And though the child in me
smiles now only in memory,
I see him reflected in those
I pass the Lessons to.

The Code is nearly complete,
but I have a long way yet to go.

I wouldn't have it any other way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Personal Poetry

"Remembering Mama"

You were always there,
Weren't you?

When I was little,
I would wake up from nightmares sometimes,
And you would rock me back to sleep,
Saying those sweet little nothings,
That brought more peace to me
Than that little prayer we used to say together,
Each and every night.
You were my angel, watching over me,
And it was your hand,
Stronger and softer than dawn's light,
That awoke me.

When I was old enough to read,
It was you who took me to buy books,
Even though I read such strange little books,
You who encouraged me to write,
Even when I couldn't even write an essay.
You were my first inspiration,
And perhaps my truest,
My guide and keeper from my earliest years.

When I began to question the church,
You did not call me a heretic,
You did not avoid my questions,
You did not love me less,
And through it all,
From beginning to end,
Even as I doubted God,
You were my Goddess,
And I the babe who was cradled in your arms,
Who thrived in your light,
Who glowed in your smile,
Who grew strong under your protection;
And I never lost faith in you.

When I started hating school,
You turned the world upside down for me.
When I cried over homework,
You would help me fix it.
Your critiques were always gentle,
Your help reliable,
Your praise genuine.

When no one else could teach me,
You taught me to smile,
You taught me to pick my friends wisely,
You taught me to stick by my principles,
And to think for myself.

When my heart began to fail me,
You showed me how to
Smile again,
Laugh again,
Trust again,
Love again,
Cry again,
And gave my judgment the benefit of the doubt,
About how to apply these things,
Much to your own smiles and laughs and tears.

Even in your dying days,
You imparted on me
Wisdom and the
Path from Experience to There,
Forgiveness and the
Ability to Forgive,
Kindness and the
Ability to be Kind,
Unconditional Love and the
Ability to Love.
You smoothed away the scars
Of years past,
And lent me the Strength to Remember.

You accepted me,
And taught me Mercy, Humility, and "The Look".

Even when I sat on your bed,
And held your warm, limp hand,
And held my peace,
And gave you yours,
And let you go,
When no one else could,
You were there.

You were there,
When the flowers were presented,
Memories shared,
Hearts broken by your passing,
Salved by your existence.

You were there when I started dreaming--
I remember!--
And you held my hand through my darkest dreams,
The same hand that woke me in earlier years,
Rocked me in my sleep,
The same hand that set my fevers breaking--
And administered Mama's justice!--
and held my own as I took my first steps into the world.

...You still are,
Aren't you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Elegy to a Cat"
I remember when we first got you, Cat.
I was very young, maybe in 1st grade,
When Mama found you injured and mewling,
Pitifully as only kittens can,
On our lawn.

Some sick creature in human skin
Had thrown you out of a car.
You were a sight for sore eyes,
With one of your own mangled,
With sleek black fur matted in red blood.

We took you in--
Only until you recovered--
And you were still here fifteen years later.

I remember dad naming you "Blacky",
And he taught you to come when he whistled,
And how to dogpaddle in the pool.

And I remember,
Just as fondly,
Mama rolling her eyes,
And naming you "Miss Priss"
And teaching you how to play well with others.

And I remember thinking,
My god!
We have a sociable cat who acts like a dog!
And we were the luckiest family in the world.

I remember you bring us
Your grisly trophies
As a sign of your affection,
And the gift of grandma shrieking
At it from the back door.

I remember you scaring off
Other cats and dogs,
raccoons and possums,
And when you were around,
Not a snake or squirrel or bird
Stepped out of line--
You were queen of the backyard--
But not the house!

You had more names than any cat I know,
And more lives than most too,
And you were my little huntress,
My little feline Artemis.

People called you,
"Blacky", "Nightshade",
"Ole One Eye", "Dead Eye",
And many others,
But mostly they just called you
"Trouble".

When Mama died,
You yowled for days,
A cat's mourning call,
And it's true what they say,
That cats love deep,
That "cat-love,
The fierce claws and teeth love
Of a feline."*

I remember you tripping Gram at every turn,
And her cursing at you roundly,
I remember Mama picking you up as a kitten,
And nuzzling your tiny face,
I remember your head stuck in Gram's coffee cup,
And how I laughed for days afterwards.

You were Strong and Swift and Sleek,
Tough and Long-Lived,
Knowing and Loving,
Honorable and Loyal as a cat could be.


My sweet little furball,
My fierce little huntress,
You will not be forgotten,
But you will be much missed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seasonal Poetry

"Wintery Woods"
The gray mist was chill,
as it snaked between
the whitened ground and the blackened trunks,
more alive than all the creatures in the slumbering forest.

The ancient oaks,
bare of all their leaves,
stood naked in their sleeping place,
ebony against the ivory snow,
their twisted limbs uplifted to the sky,
as if beseeching the sun to burn away
their burdening loads.

And the prayers paid off,
for the Sun, late and sleepy,
rose into the sky,
dissipating the serpentine fog
and melting away the icy crystals,
by his mere presence.

But sundown was bound to come,
and here, unlike its warmer counterpart,
the sun dove into a bed yellow and purple,
early--only to rise late tomorrow.

In the absense of that gleaming figure,
the mist returned, and with a vengeance.
If all is silent,
the trees whisper their anguish to one another,
as midnight makes its move.

What's this?
The Moon rises full and round,
shedding silvery light
from her voluptuous frame,
and turning the world into a wintery paradise,
as Heaven's frozen tears fall in gentle fluff
onto the quiet, sleepy grove.

It's not so bad,
the trees yawn to one another and return to rest,
dreaming for Spiringtime,
in Winter's bosom.
-------------------

More Perceptional Poetry

"Questions for the Dead"
What do they see,
those glassy eyes that stare
unblinking towards eternity?

What must it feel,
that softening skin
held by Death's embrace?

What have they heard,
those who have passed,
to capture their attention so?

What do they know,
those who dream forever,
that widens the eyes
and slacks the jaw,
in a final expression
of rapt and wondrous peace
to last all ages
with it's memory?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Let Love In"
Let sweet water
Wash away
Bitter transgressions.

Let warmth
Drown
Fruitless worries.

Let gentle winds
Chase away
Looming doubt.

Let peace
Float
On briny waves.

Let hope
Soar
Over shimmering isles.

Let Love
Shine from the heavens
Glisten off the swaying sea
Glitter on the ivory coast.

Let Love in.

Celestial Poetry

"Luna's Lullaby"
The moon,
Dressed in luminance,
Attended by a thousand twinkling angels,
Shines her silver light into my window,
Gently penetrating the sheer curtains,
Cutting to my soul,
My heart of hearts,
Where the whitish glow,
Sings the sweetest lullaby,
Lifting me to the midnight heavens,
Where softest silver-kissed clouds
Drift peacefully on quiet winds.
And where the sun dreams,
So do I.
--------------------
"Celestia"
Indigo-tipped Clouds
Sleepwalk on a cobalt background,
Yawning with the pale pink dawn,
Awaiting the orange burst,
That accompanies Sun
To his zenith.

As they age,
Clouds grow long white beards from navy beginnings.
As time passes,
The setting turns azure.
Sun moves across his domain,
Leaving nothing untouched,
As his reign expands.

From sapphire comes ruby,
And once more, the ginger streak comes,
Now auburn with time's passage,
Escorting Sun out of his palace,
Just as it ushered him in,
And the sun departs, gold tinted rose by exhaustion.

Ruby becomes burgandy;
Burgandy, plum;
Plum, wine;
And finally inky cobalt once more,
As Moon,
Attended by a legion of twinkling wisps and silver-touched fluff,
Steals the stage,
Glowing with ethereal luminance.

And she retires also,
Drifting on a fading lapis dream,
As dawn returns.
-------------------

Personal Poetry (continued)

"Duty"

I know what I must be,
And gladly resign myself to it--

I will be the pink light of dawn that rouses the world,
The avian song that fills the silence.

I will be the first burst of Spring color,
The babble of a waking brook.

I will be the Summer Breeze, the Winter Sun,
the Autumn Firefall, The Spring Rebirth.

I will be the shooting stars,
Crossing Heaven's tapestry.

I will be the conifer,
Evergreen on Winter's white.

I will be--
The Brilliance in the Abyss,
The Shade in the Inferno,
The Shelter from the Storm,
The Promise of the Rainbow.

I will be--
The Servant of Love,
The Memory of a Smile,
And all that these entail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Lover's Memory"

You were the first of your kind to know me by my Heart,
And my Heart chose you as much as I did,
To hear its first beating.

I loved you,
But then, my Heart pined for you,
And you were a friend--
But even when you knew my dark desires,
Even when I compromised you with my lusts---!

You accepted me.
You accepted me with a smile, and the ice thawed from my Heart,
And Winter gave up its grip,
And then, you said, almost worriedly--
"We're friends, right?"
And I returned you your smile,
Tears swimming in my eyes,
Your face a vision from a dream,
And I nodded, unable to speak--
To breathe, lest I wake up!--

And I will never forget the next thing that happened--
I had never been so impulsive in my life!--
I hurled myself at you,
Not with teeth or claw,
As I did in my youth to others,
But with my arms open--
And madly enough,
Insanely, foolishly enough--

Your arms wrapped around me like a peace,
Like a guardian angel must hold its child,
And I could have lost myself in that embrace,
But when I looked up,
And I could have kissed you,

You looked at me,
Innocent of my intentions,
And so I squashed them,
Not for me,
Or for you,
But for us.

And after lusting after you,
My love for you grew deeper still,
Because I could see all of your good qualities--
Beauty and Kindness and Warmth--

Warmth! That greatest quality of yours,
That Warmth that so defines you,
That is portrayed in your smile,
Embodied in your eyes,
So very different from everyone else--
Nearly as much as my own!--

And as solid brown as mine are mottled blues and greens and yellows,
Because your eyes see me like no others have seen me.
I can no longer tell if you can see through me--
My roughness, my ugliness, my petulance, my arrogance, my flirtations,
And all my more minor faults and shields--
Because I have so bared myself to you
That you know the falseness of these things,
Or if you always had.

But this does not matter,
Because you always smiled at me.
And I think I chose you because you were so different--
You are one of the only people who could meet my eyes--
But more importantly,
Because your eyes smiled at me.

Looking back on it,
It is no wonder I fell in love with you.
It is no wonder, too, that I can't fall out of love with you.
Because you are so different from the other,
Whose beauty and kindness and intelligence are cold.

It is as if you live, and he is frozen--
But we cannot fault him this--
He makes a wonderful statue,
A perfect ideal,
And it is one both fitting for him and of his own choice,

And it was you--
Not those who usually hold such sway over me--
Who finally made me move on,
And leave the Statue to his own motionless devices,
And pray that Winter leave him--
A Lover's Prayer.

Should it be of any surprise to you
That it was harder to tell you goodbye--
For I thought the last time--
Than my Father and Mother together?

I know how you hate goodbyes,
And I remember, even now,
That bitterest of memories,
When I tried so hard to tell you goodbye,
How much you meant to me,
And once more,
I choked on my sorrow
And shook my head
And hugged you awkwardly,
Before stumbling away.

It was the only time I could not meet your eyes.

That meeting left a void in my heart
That all the world could not fill
But your warm eyes that smiled at me.
And the memories plagued me for three days,
And I thought I would drown on all the unsaid words,
Dammed inside my heart.

And then, I saw you,
Walking with a friend,
And I hounded you,
but could not catch you--
You always were too tall for me
To keep an even stride with--

And I spoke,
Just loudly enough to be sure
That the wind carried my words to you:
"Aren't you going to say goodbye to me?"

You turned and smiled,
As if nothing had happened,
And suddenly nothing had,
And in a few moments,
You and your friend split ways,
And we talked.

At first, we spoke of trivialities,
And then found out that neither one of us
Could go without saying goodbye,
Though it may pain us.

"So this is might be it." I said,
And to this you replied with some sweet nothing
That I needed to hear so badly,
And then you hugged me--
For the first time you hugged me!

And if there is a heaven of my choosing,
Your arms would be it,
Soft and warm,
Strong but gentle,
And smelling so good--
Cliches all, and now I know why--

But above all,
The simple rightness of your arms,
Was simply unmanning,
And for a wonder,
The tears in my eyes danced but did not fall,
And I could see you smile,
And it was perfect.

Yet it had to end,
And we both knew that,
And both regretted our parting,
Even understanding its necessity.

I watched you walk away,
And you threw your head back,
And said, "See you next year!"
And I smiled and shook my head--
"You don't get it, do you?"
I said and thought at the same time,
And you gave me that look--
That look of sheer innocence--
And asked me, "What?"

My heart trembled with words to overflowing
And so, I told you what I had told you
In place of a goodbye for years:
"Love you!"
And my heart put every inch of feeling into it,
And you must have known,
Because, you shouted back,
"Love you too!"
And I'm sure you meant it as well.
And then you were gone,
Just an olive streak across the street,
And I turned away,
And walked back,
Too stunned to cry--
To dance, to laugh!--

But that day,
My soul sang and danced and laughed and, yes, cried too,
Because for the first time,
I knew a heartache that felt decidedly good,
Not unlike the physical ache of a long day's work.

And it erased all of my bitterness,
And replaced it with the mellow sweetness
Of healthy melancholy,
And it filled me with rightness,
A rightness which no metaphor does justice to,

And as I let my feet guide me down the path,
I let my mind wander back through another no less real,
One of sweet little joys and tender blisses,
Stored always and forever,
As the warm smile of rich brown eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Poetry

~~~~~
"To My Heart-Family"
For all of you closest to me--
Who give me strength
When I am weak,
Mercy when I am guilty,
Kindness when I am hurt,
Praise when I do right,
And through it all,
Love me truly--
This is for you.

That my pen,
Flows still across the paper,
That my fingers
Glide even now across the keyboard,
That my heart swells,
With life blood,
And my lungs,
With air,
Is a miracle,
That you have orchestrated.

I remember when each of you cared for me--
And I shall never forget
The Generosity in your heart
That started the same seed in my own,
Or the Tenacity of spirit
That planted itself inside me,
Or the Warmth that melted my walls,
And reached my Heart of Hearts,
Where still your memories gleam brightly--
And I shall never let them fade.
This is my promise to you.

I owe you,
Like a Tree owes
The Sun that shines upon it.
And the Water that stands ever beside it,
And the Earth that bears it stoically, without complaint,
Because without all of you beside me,
I would never have started,
Without all of you beside me,
I will wither and die away.

There is no repayment for such a debt,
So I will in turn Love you back,
Just as hard as you did me,
And promise as hard
That I will never forget you.

Tears flood my eyes,
As I walk through the memories,
You teaching me to swim,
To read and to write,
To cook and to clean,
To think for myself,
To walk on my own,
To live for myself,
To Love others,
As you did me.

You taught me
To Laugh and Cry,
To Teach and Learn,
To Think and Pray,
To Remember
To Be Me.

You are who I
Write this for,
Because you mean
So much to me,
That a simple
Thank You
Will never suffice--
But, for lack of words--

Thank You.
Love and Vale,
Forever and Ever.
~~~~~~
"My Sunny Little Paradise"
I'm going to miss
The thick, salty wind
That ran its fingers
Through my hair
And whispered the sea's secrets
Into my ears.

I'm going to miss
The gentle natural music
Of waves sighing
Peacefully on the shore
And breezes whistling gaily
Through the twisting mangroves.

I'm going to miss
My sunny little paradise
Where dawn and dusk
Bring out pink and purple hues
In the ever-shifting tides
And noon glitters bright white
Against endless blue
And midnight turns the water to wine.

I'm going to miss
People who smile for no reason
And trees laden with coconuts
Dancing lustily in the tangy air
And the salt-and-pepper sandy soil
That feels so good between the toes.

And even though
I will not miss
Mosquitoes biting at my heels
And hot, muggy weather
And the traditionalism
That seem to always follow paradise--
I'm going to miss my home.
~~~~~
"Let Love In II"
Let new vines
Overcome
Old walls.

Let rain and wind
Soften
Sharp pains.

Let time
Wipe away
Ancient hurts.

Let saplings
Displace
Towering arrogances.

Let rosy dawn,
Shed light on,
New growth.

Let Love
Remember what was lost,
Keep what remains,
Encourage life.

Let Love In.
~~~~~
"Finding A Prayer For Peace (Sweet Dreams)"
I'm tired.

It isn't the tired that
Work brings or
Sleep relieves.

I reach for the ache,
And it evades me.
I close my eyes,
And see it etched
Onto the inside
Of my eyelids,
Tormenting me.

When I open my eyes,
The red numbers
Flash at me too brightly,
Mocking me.

The darkness is
Almost a comfort,
But there is a
Suffocating feeling,
To the moist air,
That makes the
Blankets too hot,
But doesn't take the
Chill from the air.

I know what is missing,
And refuse it
As an answer.
It taunts me,
But I will not
Acknowledge it.

I wish for my
Honeyed milk
To take effect,
And send me
Floating towards
My dreams;
I wish that the
Pains and worries
Of the past would
Leave me for just
Tonight.

And I pray
To no one
And to nothing
In particular--
Because I've
Forgotten how
To pray any
Other way--
That dreams
May take me
Away from this
Torment.

And my prayers
Begin to be answered,
And now, I am forced to wonder,
If the malady had really been so bad,
Because the cure hurts like hell, in a different way.

It is a sadness,
I had thought forgotten,
Left in the past, never again to haunt me
As it does tonight, a sadness that feels like coolness,
Against fevered skin--too cold and too wet!--
Even as it takes away the agony,
That I thought disspelled.

And in this feeling, this welling of dead emotion,
I find my prayer again, and in it, the answer.
Warm wetness trickles down my face,
Like puss leaving an angry boil,
As I remember the promise,
"Hush now, I'm here.
And I will be here.
Forever and Ever."

It is not Mama,
Though it sounds a
Great deal like something
That she might say.
It is not a Lover's cooing
Though it is as reassuring.

It is a Peace that I cannot explain,
And dare not dissect,
For fear that I might pop it like a bubble,
Or crush it like butterfly wings,
But it feels greater.

It is like a rainbow that I can't smudge away,
That will never fade in memory,
That I am unworthy of entirely,
But gladly accept.

It steals the inky darkness
From the room and replaces it with
Silver-tinged echoes of moonlight,
And the hotness and coldness and stuffiness too,
With a cool crispness like a taste of Autumn in Midsummer,
And the wetness must have erased the cruel little pains,
Because they have faded from my vision,
Leaving a velvety blackness in its stead.
And the aches have changed,
And suddenly, I know sleep
To be a healthful thing.

So now I drift, wearily,
Upon a sea of white fluff,
And float above pure night,
Into a place that I'd forgotten,
With twinkling peace all around me,
That I can reach out and touch,
And filled with my own Peace,
I dream of growing a tree,
Sleeping soundly,
Twixt Sun and
Moon and
Stars.
~~~~~
"Loving Past Our Twilight Years"
I know we're both tired,
Both imperfect,
Both scarred...

But that doesn't mean it's too late?

Can't we live and love
Like anybody else?
Even though both of us are tarnished,
Some scars remain,
Some limbs are twisted,
Some grins are less toothy,
Some aches won't go away now,
Can't we love?

Even though our dawns are gone now,
And our noons long behind us,
Does that mean that we cannot love
In our twilights?
Aren't we allowed to watch the sunset
And sigh with the breathtaking beauty?

Is our Love up,
With our ages?
Will it depart
With our passing?
I pray it isn't so.

I know at least,
in my old bones
And my older soul,
That I'll love hardest in my dying days,
Even as my heart stops beating,
Even as my breathing ends,
I will love you.

And when our hearing grows bad,
I'll shout my love to you,
And I won't care who hears them,
And I'll know you shout them too!
If we grow deaf, I'll write my love for you,
Just as you would for me,
And when our eyesight grows dull, well then,
We'd just have huge signs that show them.
And when we go blind,
Well, then I'll never leave your side,
And steal kisses at every opportunity,
And we'll never stop loving each other.

I don't want to go,
But I promise you
My heart is yours.
And if you go first,
I'll carry your memories
On forever and ever,
And when these knees of mine get weary,
When I'm out in a rocking chair with the young blood,
I promise I'll tell them stories of you,
And I know you would do the same for me.

Even as these old eyes
Blur with tears and age,
I'll tell them of how we fell in love,
And how not even death can part us,
Just as you'd do for me.

And when we were reunited at last,
I'll love you forever then, too, and past forever.
And if there is nothing beyond death,
Which I doubt more with each passing day,
Then I'll be glad, at least, that I lived and loved,
And met you
And we shared our hearts
And never, ever gave up.
~~~~~
"Where My Heart Belongs"
I could come to love this place,
With its clear, sweet green smell,
And the light, clean air,
But....
Would I stop remembering
The blue tanginess of salt,
Lacing the water-laden air?

I could come to love this place,
With the pointy leaved vines
That crawl up these strange oaks,
But....
Would I forget about
The jasmine climbing up a palm tree,
Or the mangrove clinging to the water's edge?

I could come to love this place
And its natural little insect lanterns
And pears blossoming in Spring,
Growing gold alongside red apples
But....
How could I trade that for
The peal of a seagulls cry
Or the smell of orange blossoms
Adding their notes to the sea breeze?

I could come to love this place,
Where the leaves turn to fire in Fall
And the beauty of a Winter sunrise
Glistening off the endless white snow,
But....
How could I forget the blue-green world
Or the orange glow of twilight
Adding ginger to the salty water
For even a season?

I could come to love this place,
Even with its wary people,
And drab little buildings,
And frigid weather,
But....
Even with mosquitoes
And boiling air and
palmetto bugs....
How could I leave my home?

I could come to love this place,
Its goods and bads together,
But...
How can I love it fully,
How can I love it truly,
When my heart is still
Aching for balmy weather?
~~~~~