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so your mom is racist against Americans?? Well, true that bigger schools are nicer, and they look better, but they over-all do the same job as a smaller college... your mother seems a little unstable. I would definitely get to the counselor... if not having them call your mom, then just have them talk with you, and give you ways to work through it. Perhaps find a support group near you. sad I hope things get better for you... I'll be available via pm if you wanna chat.

It's 3AM and I'm a little sick, so don't mind if there are spelling mistakes. gonk

It does sound like your mom is simply close minded about the idea of you going to a small college. It's the whole 'Bigger = Better' idea when it comes to colleges, when smaller ones can actually provide more Student/Teacher time. I believe that will be a lot more effective in the long run.

As for the boyfriend situation, I think she's just worried for you. That having a relationship might distract you from your education.

She's going about things in a completely back-asswards way, but I really do think she has your best interests in mind. She shouldn't be putting you down, though. Maybe she just thinks if she says horrible things to you, you'll strive to be better.... A really horrible idea, but none-the-less. And about the conselor, you'll either need to find one that she will listen too or just bit the bullet on this. If what you said is true, that she'd never listen, than it would be an effort in futility and might actually make your homelife worse.

What kind of things have you done to try and get her to be a bit more open minded about your choices, aside from that article? I'm always open for a chat if you'd like. Best of luck to yah! pirate

Thanks, you guys.

@ Tirion: I've tried telling her what my counselors have told me, collecting as much "ammo" as I could with magazines and stuff about colleges, getting good grades to prove I can do stuff on my own and none of it's worked so far.

@ Ichigo: I've talked to the counselors and they've done all they could without calling her. They said if I wanted them to play a bigger role I should let them call her.

I just can't do anything about it. I've considered everything from rational to stupid.

She's not letting me do anything, including getting a job, until SATs are over. I can't drive yet.

I really hate her. And my father, too. I've tried telling them it really frustrates me when they nag and I can't concentrate therefore, and they say when they don't nag I do diddly squat, which isn't true--I'm trying to balance out homework with an hour or two of free time a day, which they still think should be cut down for SAT prep.

Thank you, Tirion, but as I'm just "the moocher who is getting kicked out as soon as she turns 18" I'm kind of at a loss of communication with them, as my mother, once again in the car today turned on me and began calling me names and threatening to send me to China, not get me my citizenship and cancel my cell phone I doubt she'll listen to anything else I have to say to her because I was in a crappy mood and snapped at my sister and my aunt.

They don't think I can get into any college. My mom says she refuses to pay for anything other than Ivy League and if I want to go to school in NYC it better be Columbia or she's not cashing.

It's impossible to do anything with them, as they have proven again and again not to listen to reason nor the guidance counselor, as when my eighth grade one called them and thought I might be a little too stressed out. My mother flipped out on me saying it was none of their business.

I'm so sorry. I don't know if this means anything, but I know exactly how you feel (except for the parents being Asian part). My mother spent the first 18 years of my life constantly telling me I was lazy, stupider than my friends, arrogant, rude, etc. She tried to turn my sister and I against each other by complimenting one and yelling at the other. All of my opinions were wrong or didn't matter. If circumstances proved that I was right, there was no apology for the time I spent grounded. When the starter in my car died I got screamed at for 3 hours, because I obviously sabotaged my only mode of transportation to work. If I didn't spend every waking hour studying I was obviously lazy and going to fail (I was my high school valedictorian).

Now I am 21 and in college. And you are definitely right about the college thing. Ivy league schools are nice, but its not the only good thing out there. A lot of people here in California think Berkeley (sp?) is awesome, but my dad's company recruits from Davis and 2 of the state schools when they want engineers, not Berkeley. If you find something that suits you and what you want to study, go for it. They may even have better internship opportunites than another school, and often the work experience you gain while you are in college is a major determining factor for a job, not necessarily the college you go to.

And if they don't think you can get into college, they are completely wrong. It seems like you could probably get into most, if not all colleges you want.

As far as what to do now, I think you should just wait it out. If you know the counselor will provoke your parents more, then don't have them call. It sucks dealing with parents sometimes, but it gets better. Seriously. There are a lot of scholarships out there, and loans are an option if your parents refuse to pay the bill for school. And you can also get a job when you go to college. I know people who pay there own way through school because their parents either can't or won't support them. It can be done.

Just remember that sometimes parents can be impossible to please. The person that matters though is yourself. You are doing things because you want to think about your future, not theirs.

Hmmm...that turned out longer than intended....

Okay, she has no reason to take this out on you, but it happened to a friend. Maybe she had a really bad experience with dating when she was younger and did something she regrets. And yes, guidance should talk to her. But instead of Americans, maybe it should be somone she would be comfortable to talk to.