Welcome to Gaia! ::

Sorry I've been away. I've been having a really up-and-down time. I've turned inwards and kind of stayed there. The insurance switch is Sept. 1. I'm very scared. I'm sure you guys can appreciate that. We've all been afraid some time or another.
I'm afraid of the surgery itself, but even more so of what will happen afterwards. I'm afraid I'll be one of those bitchy people who get the surgery, lose weight, then say 'God I can't stand fat people!' and all that sort of stuff. I'm also afraid that I won't look like myself anymore. There will be saggy skin and all, and I don't want that. But I'm more afraid that I'll be skin and bones. I've never thought that was sexy. What if I get the surgery and lose so much weight that I look sick?
I just have many, many fears about the surgery. I hope you guys understand. And I know I won't be getting it right away, but I'll probably be getting it within a year or two. I'm just having to get over these things before I can move on.
On a happy note, I hit 100,000 words. For those of you who might have forgotten, I need 100,000 to be published. I'm over 400 pages, and the ending is drawing ever-near. Anyone who can pass that on to Chally for me, please do. I think I might have gotten her into trouble with Reno again.
I'm sending my love to everyone with my explination. I do love you guys. I hope that ya'll understand and aren't angry with me.

Congrats on the book. I wish that I had that kind of drive.

Sorry to hear about your cousin. I hope that everything will turn out alright. You've just got to have faith. My thoughts will be centered on your family tonight.

Your too nice to ever turn bitchy. I hope that with time your fears will eventually disappear. It's just going to take some time to get use to the idea of a new physical you, while still remaining the same emotional you.

We're always here if you want to talk. heart

Thanks guys. Sorry that sounds lame but the news just got worse when we went. She seems fine but she nearly collasped from exhaustion after only about 5 minutes of being active. She doesn't know she's sick and that she needs to rest. It's heart failure, too. Her heart is swollan so much that it's surpressing her appitite, and making her throw up when she eats. How big does her heart have to be to do that? The doctors won't say how long she might have. They just said that it 'wasn't good' and asked Jan if she wanted to have Durene resesitated if they ever needed to do that.

*sniffle* So sorry about everything lately. crying I shall keep your cousin in my prayers, and you as well. 3nodding I hope things look up for you soon. Love you, hun. gonk heart

As for myself, I'm falling into a pile of finals stress again. I feel as if our upcoming group report is going to fall apart, because only the leader and I are pulling any real effort. The others aren't being so cooperative. stare I feel like shooting myself. (LOL, overachiever stress.) No, even better, I feel like shooting THEM. stare *sigh* And after this term is over, I only have about a week to take a breather. Trimestral schedule = gonk

And Tinkerbelle is right, you're too nice to turn bitchy. 3nodding You know, I'm kind of envious. smile I've only ever tried diets and workouts but none of them ever turned out for me. I got too bored with workouts ( xp ), and the the hunger pangs I got from dieting hurt so bad that I nearly developed ulcers. eek I would so readily try pills and surgery, but my mom doesn't believe in them and thinks I'm doomed to die if I ever start trying them. rolleyes

Mimsi, I think your fears are because this is #1) A surgery and #2) The unknown. And I don't think people change the way they think just from losing weight.
Good luck and I'm sorry to hear about your cousin.

Aww mimi ;[
I don't want you to get surgery u.u But of course that is your decision alone and nobody can tell you otherwise, so of course I'm going to say good luck with everything! And of course even though I don't pray, I do hope the best for your cousin and I hope she and you both do well.