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 Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 6:07 pm
Yes, my brother is making me post fanfiction. All of you are to lazy to look it up on FF.net, lazy.
Then again, i'm lazy too xP.
Enjoy.
Summary:
Yes, this is about Alder. And it's a comedy! Yay!Courtney persuades Bobby into taking her, Mark, Spader, and Alder shopping.Turns out, Mark and Bobby come up with a fun, humiliating game.
Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 (Not completed yet <3)
Updated: 6-1-06 - Published: 5-10-06
Chapter one: Trip To The Mall
Disclaimer: I don't own Pendragon... I wish I did though crying
"Oh c'mon. That's a dumb idea!" Bobby and Courtney were having the most intresting discusion. "You never want to do anything fun! You don't even do basket ball any more becouse your all busy being a traveler. I have feelings to you know!" She complained. "I never get what I want!" Bobby sighed. "Fine. You win Courtney," upset, and kind of embaressed, he said "We'll take them shopping."
"Oh my god! It moves!" Exclaimed Alder happily as the car inched down the drive way. "Uh yeah, that's what it's for," Bobby explained. "It's something so that us people of Secound Earth don't have to walk every were." Alder looked shocked. "Is that why so many people are.. well... They look about Queen Kagan's size." He coughed as they passed a McDonalds. "Pretty much yeah." Mark said from the passenger seat. Bobby and Mark sat in the front of the car, Bobby had gotten his driver's license a few days ago, Spader had his elbow on the inside of the car door and sitting next to him was Courtney. They didn't talk to each other any more becouse they had broken up after dating for only three days as Mark had called it "A Brittney Spears" relationship. Alder was the only one happy about getting in the car and driving. The large knight, being so large, could only stick his head out the window. (He had tried to stick his whole body out the window... It didn't work..)
He really does look like a big puppy dog! Bobby thought laughing to himself. As the came closer to the mall that had just opened up..They stopped and Alder hit his head on a light pole. Everyone but Bobby turned they're direction to Alder. "You get used to it." He said recalling the many times Alder had hurt himself on the many diffrent territories, like on Denduron, the accident with the roots and the pebble. That very morning he had tripped on his own foot and he brought Spader tumbling down the stairs with him. Yeah, not cool.
Spader and Alder gasped at the same time. "What colorful lights," Alder said amazed. "It's so... Pretty!" Mark and Cournty laughed at his wide eyes and his mouth hanging open. Bobby had expected this. "You can close you mouth now Alder." Again, Alder had not listened. "Halla to Alder, Clean up on isle nine." Mark waved his hand in Alder's face.
Spader had his face pressed against a near by shop filled with swim gear. "I'm jelouse. NEED!" A bit of drool escaped his mouth as he eyed really a really nice looking swim suit that he knew would look great on him. "Oh great." Said Bobby. "Courtney...Why the mall?" "Becouse it's fun!" She replied. "Heh, looks like Halla's communication systems are down and isle nine will have spilt grape juice on it forever." Mark said, feeling lonely becouse no one was bothering to notice he was there. Alder finally snapped from his gaze at the pretty lights and turned to Bobby. "What now, Pendragon?" He shrugged and said, "Why don't we play a game?" Spader wiped up his drool and walked back toward the others. "What kind of game?" Poor Bobby was now being stared at needingly by Alder, Spader, Courtney, and an every so slightly ignored Mark. "Well um..." He started. "We could get a curtain amount of money and buy each other whatever we want. We can um... draw names from a bowl and buy something for that person and it could be anything you'd like to buy but umm.." Bobby couldn't think. "Whatever you get you have to wear!" Mark blurted out. "Mark! I didn't know you had it in you!" Courtney said patting him on the back. "Sounds fun!" Said Spader. "But I don't have any Secound Earth currency." "Well I got birthday money." Bobby said. "I can give you each fifty bucks."
Bobby split the money and wrote all they're names in a bowl. Each person had a turn and took off in the opposite direction, minds probably thinking of the humilation that they'll put the other through.
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Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 6:08 pm
Chapter two: Oh, The Shopping
Mark glanced down at his small slip of paper. It read: Alder. Mark slipped it into his back pocket and walked around with no real direction in mind. He stopped and stared at the next thing he saw. Mark couldn't believe it! I..it's f-finnaly h-here! He thought studdering in his own mind. "I-is this true? I-is t-this r-r-really it?" He asked to no one. "What you mean that cheesey geek filled store? Yeah it's there." Said a blonde and blue eyed teen who stared at Mark as he inched backwards as if to get a better veiw and he was totally stupified. Science, Electronics, Games, Oh my! Stood infront of him. He has finally found a place for his geek-like needs. He ran toward it and slammed into the glass. "I'm okay..." He said gentley stroking his forehead in which the impact had occured. Maybe he'd be able to buy something here and for Alder right? ...Right? He jumped with glee and ran inside but first, actually opening the door.
Spader yawned and stretched. This secound earth thing is weird... he thought. Suddenly a group of girls passed by, most of them probably ten years older then him and then his mind went in other areas... Never mind, I like secound earth. The girls looked at him and they all flipped him off in unison and one had even come up to slap him, after all, it wasn't a long walk over seeing as he was basicly hanging on them.. "Ow, I like the less pretty girls on Cloral better.." He looked down on his little name and it read: Mark. Spader walked into a near by shop. Ten minutes later he ran out screaming smelling strangley like flowers. He looked to the sighn of the place he had entered only to get mobbed, hugged, and kissed by a bunch of guys... yes, guys. the sighn read: Queer as Folk Merchandise. Spader decided to never go in there EVER again.. But that's when he got his idea... Spader walked into the store and ducked the men in tight pants and lipstick. He shuddered. Were there were girls, having long black hair, being dark, and being tall were good things... Now having those qualities around men who act like wemon..Bad thing. He went in and saw what he wanted to buy for Mark, and giggled sinisterley. A blonde teen behind him giggled a long with him, and to a swipe at his preciouse parts that should not be touched by men. Spader jumped and was covered by a bunch of Queer as Folk DVDs... He really hated this game..
Courtney on the other hand, had no idea what to get for her victom. Bobby Pendragon. She wanted revenge on him some how. It wasn't fair he got with Loor and left her out of the loop. At this she grimmaced and walked toward a shop that held a bunch of scary looking clowns. What came to her first was LaBerge on Quillan, then it hit her. "Did I tell you how much I hate clowns?" Bobby's voice rang in her head. Perfect.
After tripping, falling, being banged around by a rather rude bunch of boys, Alder had finally found the bathroom. "THANK YOU GOOD GOD!" He screamed as he ran inside. Once again, he had fallen but by the hands of viciouse screaming girls. "Sorry!" He called out and then walked in to the correct bathroom. The poor knight jumped from one foot to the other trying his hardest not to pee himself. He looked around rather confused and desprate. "Were are the holes in which we do our private time in?" He had asked a boy who walked by. He slicked his blonde hair back and snorted. "Why don't you ask Pendragon." He said snottily. "I don't know were he is!" Alder said doing a desprate dance to try to hold it in. The boy walked away discusted. "God, i'm glad i'm not on their side." He said walked away. Alder didn't notice. He hopped over to an odd looking machine and pulled a lever. "A waterfall machine?" Alder said stunned. "No man! That's the pisser!" some odd looking guy said. "You answer the call of nature maaaaaaan, like yeah..." Alder looked at it. "I go in this?" The blonde boy poked his head back in to see the the odd man show Alder the mysteries of the waterfall machine. He giggled slightly and grinned. "It's so cute!" Alder turned his head around to see however and called, whatever "it" was, cute was gone. Alder pulled up his pants and walked out of the door very relieved. "Okay..now..." He looked at the name on the paper. "Spader? What could I possibley get him?" Alder blinked. He walked through the mall into random places. He also went into a graphic novel shop, whatever those were, to find a group of boys huddled over by the Gravitation shelves. One of them turned and winked at Alder, the other whistled. Alder decided he liked the shop in which he was sprayed with gallons of stinky stuff that some lady had called perfume. Yuck. Alder rubbed his eyes and looked around some more. His eyes went wide at what he had just saw. It was perfect! Cheap, can be used in the water, and it was adorable! Might as well get it right?
Bobby knawed his finger nails. Something.. SOMETHING! ANYTHING! He thought despratley. What would he get Courtney that she wouldn't complain about? He sighed and continued his search. After a long while of walking his apine began to hurt him. He needed a seat. He sat and rubbed his back against the wood. He wondered what everyone else might get. He rubbed his head, all of this thinking made his head hurt. "Need help?" Said a boy who had just sat next to him. Something about his eyes didn't feel right. Yes, he was blonde. (A/N: Have you guessed yet? lol...) "Yeah, i'm trying to buy my friend a present. She used to be my girlfriend.." He said sighing. "Well tell me about it." said the blonde boy. "She was my girlfriend and I had a crush on her since forever. But somthing happened and I couldn't be with her anymore and now she hates my friend Loor becouse well, I was falling in love with her but she told me only a few days ago that she just didn't want to love me back and well I wanted to show Courtney how much I care about her even though I sort of had something special with another girl if you know what I mean." Bobby finished looking at the teen. "Give her what comes from your heart!" He said smiling. Bobby didn't like his teeth either.. His eyes and his teeth... hmmm... But he was right. "Thanks man." He said. "See you around." The blonde boy waved at him and giggled. He had a weird giggle...
Mark drooled over his new science tools. It had been titled the Science-Master 3,000. Yes he was. He was the science master! For the first time since they got here Mark felt un-ignored. "Hey, Dimond!" He turned around to see Alder waving happily. He walked over to Mark. "Did you fi--NIIIISH!' Half way throught the sentence Alder tripped over his large feet and slammed his head onto the floor. "I'm okay..." Mark stared. He had forgotten to get him something! Hurridley he waved good bye and left. "No help?" Alder whinned for his head was pounding like that time when he went threw the Milago village trying to warn them of the bomb that was going to explode and a man had lifted a heavy wooden door and slammed it onto his head.
Mark quickley dashed into a random store. "H-hello? W-hat d-do you h-have that's cheap and under twenty bucks?" He breathed heavily. The woman at the counter stared at him for a momment. "Well.. What would you like?" "ANYTHING! Anything at all!" Mark shouted. She looked very confused but she got something from a clearance rack and shoved it in a gift box. "Is that all for you sir?" "Yes, thank you." "M'kay hun, you should calm down a bit. Your total is seventeen dollars and eighty-one cents." Mark payed the woman and ran to the entrance were every on else was waiting for him. "Are we all set to open 'em?" Bobby asked. "Yeah, let's go to my house first." Courtney said. All five of them got into the car and headed home.
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Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 6:09 pm
Chapter three: The Gifts, And Fredrick
During the drive home every one exchanged, "Who got me something and what did you get me?" No one answered these questions though some giggled and thought evilly. Alder saw Courtney's house and stuck his head out the window "We are he-- AAAAH!" Alder had gotten his head slammed against the mailbox. One again every one looked back at Alder except for Bobby who said once again,"You get used to it." They all climed over one another to get out of the car, anxiouse to see what present they had gotten. "Calm down, seesh." Said Mark, who was having a sinking feeling he didn't want to know what was in the box he had got Alder.
Once inside, they all gathered around in the living room. Spader and Bobby sat on the couch, Courtney sat on the floor next to Mark on the coffee table and Alder sat in a chair by the hallway. "Okay, let's put the names back in the bowl and pick out a name," Bobby said. "Whoever's name is pulled out, the person who got them the gift has to give them the gift." Courtney dug her hand into the bowl. "This one says Bobby!" She smiled and gave Bobby his box. He stared at it and gulped, looking as nervouse as Mark usually looks. Bobby walked into the bathroom.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The shriek was heard through out the Chetwyde house, making even the strongest of ears bleed. Spader and Courtney shared a giggle. Bobby was silent for a momment and the walked out of the bathroom. "Courtney, i'm never trusting you with my fears ever again.." Bobby said. Everyone but Bobby was laughing and pointing. Bobby was wearing a brightley colored insane looking outfit. Yes, a clown outfit. Pink and Yellow and Purple, oh my! It even had clown make-up and the rubber nose to match. (A/N: Bobby mentioned several times in the books that he is affraid of clowns.) Bobby was was twitching like crazy, man oh man, did he hate clowns. After picking out Bobby's clown name, Fluffelballs, Courtney shoveled her hand in the bowl and pulled out : Mark.
Spader stood up and grabed the little bag and shoved it into Mark's hands. "There ya go mate, hope ya like it. I bet you will." Spader winked at him. Mark gulped nervousley. He walked into the bathroom and a few minutes later...
"I'm not coming out." Mark's voice came from the bathroom. "Aw, why not," Courtney said. "You have to, it is the rules you know. You have to wear it for the rest of the day." Mark's foot was seen in the doorway. Bobby felt sick. Mark had on tight leather pants and was wearing lipstick, his multi-colored shirt said "I love hot sexy guys." and on the back the shirt said "Gay Pride." Courtney burst out laughing and Bobby was gagging himself. Alder stood confused, he didn't get the joke. Spader smiled sinisterly. Mark grimaced. "Whoever got Spader his present... It better be worse then this." After awhile of making fun of Mark, Courtney dug her hand into the bowl once more. "Me!" Bobby smiled. "Here ya go." Courtney stared. "Were is it?" "Right here." Bobby leaned over and gave her a kiss. "That's not fair!" Mark wailed. "Look at me! I'm wearing the gay stuff and she justs gets a kiss!" Spader smiled. "Well, according to your shirt, i'm guessing you want one from Pendragon as well?" Mark blushed. "That's not what I ment!" Courtney stood in one place swaying back and fort. Unable to get her attention, he picked out the next name. "Hey Spader, you get your humiliation next." "I thought they were presents.." Bobby laughed. "Nevermind, yours can't be any worse then mine." Little did Spader know, Bobby was wrong.. Bobby was DEAD wrong.
Alder handed his gift to Spader. He smiled,"If it's from you it can't be bad at all!" (A/N: You shall be pleased SasukeBlade..Oh yes you will.. lol...)
Spader went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him (as did everyone else.). He opened the box expecting something not even close to as bad as Mark's or Bobby's clothes. But then he saw it, and now... He wished he had their gifts.. His eyes widened in horror as his eyes layed upon the evil inclosed in the box. "No...no no.. NOOOOOOOO!" Spader's death wail was heard not only all over Secound Earth, but on several other territories as well. (A/N: I know it seems like i'm basing this off of Spader but i'm not... The next chapter shall be proof..) Meanwhile on Zaada. "Did you hear that?" Saangi asked. "Yes, go back to bed." Loor grunted sleepily. Back to Secound Earth... Alder rubbed his ears. "It's not that bad, I thought it was cute." Mark, Bobby, and Courtney looked at him. "What did you get him?" Alder smiled innocentley. "You shall see." Spader slowley crept out of the bathroom, he was nearly in tears, as was everyone else, after they got over the shock that is. Everyone including Spader were red in the face, Spader from embaressment and, everyone else from the sight laying before them.
Cloth like shoes with cheesey blue ribbons were on his feet. His shorts were white with a cheesey blue bow on the front, these shorts were so small they were on the verge of ripping. Most of his chest was showing becouse of the tiny shirt with a blue collar and blue cuffs. On his head was the completion of this "cute" outfit was a string tieing a rubber duck onto the side of his head and on the very top was the the white and blue hat, "Your... Your... Your... wearing a--" "Don't say it Pendragon." "L-l-little.." "Pendragon i'm warning you!" "B-b-boy--" "Pendragon don't do it, PLEASE!" "SAILOR SUIT!" Bobby choked out the words while rolling on the ground pounding his fists into the ground. "Stop it!" Spader hit himself in the head.
QUACK!
There was a momment of silence...
"THE DUCK WENT QUAK!" Courtney shouted.
Even Alder was red in the face as they all luaghed at the once proud Aquaneer who was now... That guy in a sailor boy outfit... With a duck on his head..
They all settled back into the living room. They all sat stiffling snickers. Bobby reached up and touched the duck.
QUACK!
"Mate, do NOT, touch the duck." Spader said annoyed. "Why not?" Mark asked. "Becouse, Fredrick doesn't like it."
Pause.
"You named it?"
"Yes."
".."
Spader coughed. "Right, right." Bobby said. "Well, I guess it's Alder's turn." Mark hesitently handed Alder the box. The knight gladley grabbed the box and went off to the bathroom..
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Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 6:09 pm
This is where the last chapter goes, it shall be updated... Someday ((Within the next few weeks.))
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Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 7:30 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 7:11 am
QUACK!
"Mate, do NOT, touch the duck." Spader said annoyed. "Why not?" Mark asked. "Becouse, Fredrick doesn't like it."
Pause.
"You named it?"
"Yes."
".."
OMG that's totally thee best ^.^
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 7:16 am
It was hilarious... but I'm suprised I had the patience to read it all... very impatient person...
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 11:47 am
That's so funny! I lsughed so hard during that! rofl
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 1:47 pm
omg! rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl I LOVE THE SAILOR SUIT! lol UPDATE SOON!
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:18 pm
I have fans! HOMG! <3
I'm glad you like it, I shall update...soon!
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Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:19 pm
Yay! That was a funny fic! I love it! Encore! Me want more!
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Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 1:08 pm
daneypoo Yay! That was a funny fic! I love it! Encore! Me want more! Yeah.........update now.....getting impatient.......
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Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 2:50 pm
Sorry guys~!
I've been busy, and now I have slow internet.
If one of you talks me into doing it soon, i'll update on the weekend.
Oh, and I met someone at church I really like.
I think this person is.. The one.
=D <3
Sorry Alder, you have competition. xD
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Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 7:30 pm
Zanny_Yosho Sorry guys~!
I've been busy, and now I have slow internet.
If one of you talks me into doing it soon, i'll update on the weekend.
Oh, and I met someone at church I really like.
I think this person is.. The one.
=D <3
Sorry Alder, you have competition. xD The one. God, you sound like Devan. Every guy she met was the one. Stop your Devan-ness. It's freaking me out.
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Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:09 pm
Zanny is like MIA, I guess I'll never get an update....
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