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Ultimately, it's your decision and frankly the guilty and pressure he is giving you is not part of a REAL loving relationship. This is why (I know it's a bit late now) it's important to talk about the whatifs in a relationship like this.

Why can't you get into a doctor? You need to get in ASAP, there are free clinics. As for "I can't go through this without him by my side" well, I hate to say it, but it sounds by his reaction and selfishness, you're going to have to. I think if anyone should be ashamed, honestly, it's him.

Being you've all ready made the decision to keep this baby, I would start the financial preparation. Regardless of what he wants, he's the baby's biological sperm donator (unless he decides he's going to be a man and step up and be a father) and he will have to provide for half of the medical bills and child support. Don't let something "but I love him" cloud logic because it doesn't seem to be working.

Since you've known for at least a month, I'm going to stress get to a doctor ASAP. I think it's been over a month, it's been plenty of time for him to adjust to the idea and really, by a normal menstral cycle, you're either close or past the standards for an abortion as it is.

Thank you all for your kind words;
I come again seeking more advice.

Shortly after my post here I told my boyfriend I would not be getting an abortion, that I was going to raise my baby. He instantly left me, and told me he never wanted to see me or the child again in his life.
My family has been 100% supportive and loving, making my experience with pregnancy a thrill, and my work has been a wonderful support as well; I have received a raise and now have another contract waiting for me when I finish maternity leave.

However, my EX has come to me begging me to put the baby up for adoption, saying "Everything would go back to normal" if I did. I told him I would not do that, that my baby would be brought up with mine and my family's love. A few days later he asked to meet me so I went. He handed me a letter and tried to leave, but I made him stay and say what he wanted to say.

He muttered a lot of nasty things, and told me that because of his mother's feelings towards me, he was going to leave me right after he forced me to abort or miscarry. I ended the conversation and returned home where me and my parents read the very nasty letter he had given to me.

I do not want this man in my life, and I don't want him to influence the coming little boy. He has told my friends I am a prostitute, and seems to get a kick out of spreading other nasty rumors too.

His mother has recently told my brother that my Ex doesn't say anything about me at home, ever, but she worries everyday and prays for my safety, and the health of the child; she has hinted that she might go for custody of it.

This woman tried to force me into abortion, told me I was pathetic because I dream of being a writer. She brings random men into her household, and has been dating a man for eight years who abuses her and her children.

I do not want my child to be dragged into that. I want to put "Father Unknown" on the birth certificate to prevent him from getting his hands on my baby. The only problem is the father's name is already in my medical records. Can anyone tell me if they use my records to get the name for the certificate, or can I still claim the father is unknown? And I know this sounds a little horrible, but if I tell my doctor I'm not sure if he is the father so it is stricken from my record, it will make me look like a whore, but would it not be for the best?

The father still does not want anything to do with the child, but his mother worries me very much, especially since she seems to love me, then hate me every other day.

Has anyone else been in a situation like this? My baby boy is due in a month, and I really need advice on how to handle this situation before then.

Thank you.

You have the option to put whatever you want on the birth certificate. You can give the baby your last name, and put 'Father Unknown' if you want.

However... if you put father unknown, you can't claim child support unless you do a DNA test to prove he's the father.
If you put father unknown, his mother can't get custody or rights unless SHE pays for a DNA test to prove he's the father.

So... do what you want. It would probably be better to have his name for child support rights, and then you can fight the court pretty easily over grandparent rights.

Good luck to you, and congrats for being smart enough to ditch the a*****e.

Where do you live? I could do a lot more research about laws and whatnot if I knew that. I want to help you out because I think you're doing the right thing, and I don't want this jerk or his mom to have any leverage over you or your coming son.

ETA: I just found out that in Massuchusetts (I'll see if others states follow the same law), the father has to willingly sign his name AS the father for it to be on the birth certificate (he would sign a form called a "Declaration of Paternity"). From what you said, I don't see that happening, so "father unknown" would be all YOU could do. That means, if you want to claim child support, you can file for paternity action in court to prove he is the father and hold him legally obligated. Also, if he signed, oddly enough the mother (since you're not married) automatically has custody rights unless a judge says otherwise.

However, that also means that his mother can't do anything if her son isn't willing to admit he's the father and sign it, or, like I said before, if she takes you to court and makes him take a paternal DNA test.

In Missouri, if you were to try to make him admit he's the father and he denied it, the state pays for a DNA test, and if it proves he's the dad, he has to reimburse the state.

Argh, okay, I'll stop looking until you tell me what state you're in, or this could get really weird. I don't even want to look at Arkansas laws, LOL.

Oh, but here's one thing that may be helpful:

Jamie is 16 years old. She just gave birth and wants to care for her child. Her boyfriend’s parents say that she is too young; they want to raise Jamie’s child themselves. They say they have rights because their son is the father. Can they take Jamie’s child from her?

!Unless Jamie’s boyfriend establishes paternity, his parents have no legal relationship to the child at all—they have no more rights than a stranger would.

Even if Jamie’s boyfriend has established paternity, his parents would have to go to court to ask for custody of the child. The judge would require his parents to show some extraordinary circumstance before even considering their request. Jamie’s age alone would not be an extraordinary circumstance.

That's from http://www.nyclu.org/rrp_rppt5.html
That's all about the rights of pregnant and parenting teens, which means it talks a lot about rights of unmarried folks.
Also, I researched to make sure, but it doesn't matter if your medical records state that he's the father. Unless he signs the right document, it doesn't matter what anything else says.

You need to get a lawyer or at least consult with one if you think he's serious. They can advise you of your rights and help you obtain any protective orders you might need (although you can definately do this part on your own, and like others said, I think you NEED to.) Then, if you want child support you'll have to take him to court, so his name needs to be on the birth certificate. I'd advise you to get sole custody of your son. Then, your ex and his family have no legal rights to take him away from you. You can go to court and fight the mother over custody. She might get some sort of visitation, but you seem to have a good job and supportive family, and a judge should see this. I have a friend who's going through a similar situation with the father of her child (he's a drug addict,) and I see how tough it can be. At least you (and her) have a lot of support from their family.

Perhaps he'll see the child and change his mind, but I'd never trust him alone with it. You really need to get a lawyer. What a piece of s**t. Well, good luck!

I really can't add to the wonderful advice you've been given.

Everything really does vary state to state with most of the things you'll have to deal with...including whether or not his mother can sue for her rights to see the baby. Some states allow for Grandparents rights, others don't. And try not to worry about her hinting she wants custody of your child: unless she can prove beyond a doubt that you're an unsuitable parent, she's just huffing and puffing.