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This thread is for poetry you have written yourself, not poems written by other people.

Post pieces here, get feedback, ask questions, share creative processes and ideas.

vesta_vesves_star

Wow first post
>.>
<.<
I know it's slightly creepy weird but bare with me

It all seemed to linger in
An endless darkness with awful din
Running screaming it did not go
Even after we all said no
By Apollo's rays they did divine
A shot of darkness a taste of time

I really like it.. but I like darker poetry. I think it's much more interesting. You've got good imagry and good rhyme!

Small and Harmless

Small and harmless,
one would say.
With their dust, and flowers,
and feathery wings! Don’t be fooled
by what you see. . .
Fairies are mischievous
things!
Obscured by mushrooms, flowers,
and leaves, these creatures live in hollow, oak trees! They host
outrageous parties; dancing
under the moon, stars, the inky sky.
Then they sleep all day, letting the sun go by.
Fairies are like bothersome pests,
that is, if you run into their nests!
They’ll pull and tangle up your hair,
and attack you so you
have no air!
Never trusts a fairy’s word.
All they want is your milk and bread,
then they’ll fly away like a haste little bird!
They’ll ravage homes, and eat your goods.
You’ll have to case them back to
the woods!
And all the way, they’ll giggle
and banter. They always
have fun
committing
such slander!
A warning to
you if you bake pies:
Watch your goods, or otherwise,
all you’ll hear are the flutter of wings; soon enough they’ll be gone in a zing!
And you’ll end up like a puppet on
string.

i wonder if i can find any of mine.......




Killer:
you canot kill which you did not make
you ask for life he gives you death
he walks with you in life's dead pathe road ends here
he calls to you





JOIN
Join the rich, join the proud, join the living, and join the ranks of the dead, make us enemy, make us friends join the ranks of the dead.

live, die join the people of the sky, wish for life, wish for death..

a war of light, a war of sadness, the panic, the fright, the war of life.

living life, living long, hoping for forgiveness hoping not to fall.

join the ranks join the proud till your proud army crumbles and falls.









sadly i made this one to make someone i knew angry.

ImMoRtAl

Are we immortal, are we not? Are we living, are we dead? God gives immortality, is it realy fair? God gives immortality, is it any good? God gives immortality, what if Satin did?







NeW

new life, new world
new guns, new wars
new damn goverment
new world order
new problems
All over again.

Oh sorry Anti-kun I realy like it. 3nodding

Hmmm.. not bad at all. I normally don't say things about poems because I can't write them... but the timing, is it? Pattern? Beat? (beats me.. that thing with the meter or whatever) seems to mix a little from line to line and stanza to stanza, so if you were looking for that, I'd say it's a little off.

Your third stanza, second like.. Not really sure what you were going for on the last word. I'd never heard it, and tried to look it up, but that didn't help. and the "ude" and "ood" sounds are kind of off for the rhyme.

Everything else looks good to me.

that's sad, it's a realy good note 3nodding