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 Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:05 pm
I love poetry and I see that we don't have any poems posted. So post your original stuff or any other poems or songs you like.
(edit) Short stories and prose are welcomed too! 3nodding
Things to consider
* Please keep swearing to a minimum
* And remember this is PG-13 wink
* No flaming, only intellegent constructive criticism
* Do not critique some one elses work unless they ask for it
9/26
Since this thread has slowed down a bit I've decided to make some changes. Now we have a stage for the artistic ppl or if you'd just like to get up there and show your stuff! ^^
Feel free to go to the bar and get some food or a drink, from cafe latte's to sex on the beach! Yay! Just come here and chill out.
Since I've added a bar I could use some volunteer workers. whee Just say so if you're interested. Later I'd like to have some poetry contests. PM me if you have some ideas. Also give me some ideas about things you'd like to see in the future.
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:19 pm
Nobody likes poetry ne? sad
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:22 pm
Ill post one! Here is one of mine its called hole
Hole
What’s this darkness? Is this hole?
I had so much warmth in my life
Now all I feel is the cold.
Scared to death what will happen to me.
I ask myself why is life like a hole?
Dark and cold.
Gripping your soul.
Knowing I’m losing control.
No way out till I go mad
Shooting myself and I shall forever lay dead.
I made this poem when iw asreally depressed sweatdrop I have tons more and maybe ill post some more later on.
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 1:04 pm
I can soo relate to that right now... sad Yea, I have lotsa depressing poems. If I see that ppl like this forum I guess I'll post mine too ( they're long) keep em coming! Oh, and I won't critque unless you ask.
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 1:11 pm
I made this poem a long while back called Blood.
Blood
Blood,
When blood flows out,
It is like a beginning,
A fresh start.
When there is darkness in the blood,
The darkness flows out.
But when there is no darkness in the blood,
Only blood flows out.
Though,
Sometimes darkness is in the blood,
But it always remains in the veins.
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 1:16 pm
I likie. Sounds like you stopped it too early though, you could go soo much further with that! If you decide to continue it I wanna see.
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 1:23 pm
Afraid & Alone
(how'd I get myself into this mess?)
You say you love me
And I believe you
And I trust you
And I love you
And I know that you believe in me
And you believe we're perfect for each other
But I'm afraid
Afraid that maybe this is wrong
Maybe we should both move on
And you can get a girl your age
And I can get a boy my age
(but at the same time)
I'm so afraid of losing you
Goddamn I love you so ******** much
You make me want you with me all the time
Damn I just want you near me
So I can touch you
Smell you
Feel you
Taste you
Feel your hands graze my skin
And your lips against mine
I need you
(why?)
Why are you so far away from me?
Living across the country
And now I sit here
Afraid
And
Alone
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 1:27 pm
Dude, that sux. Why the heck do we even bother with online relationships? They just make us more depressed.
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 1:41 pm
I wrote this for my latest boyfriend. I spent two blissful weeks with him this summer while I was visiting my family, then I had to go back to Alaska where I live... alone. *sigh*
This is another of those online relationship type dealies, only its lasted three years, and I've seen him in person.
I'll be posting some more poetry a bit later, but I need to go to work.
Gold
Were I to give you a color,
it would be gold.
The cast of abundance,
hue of will and fire.
You are the wheat field at autumn,
breezeridden, endlessly consuming,
And the tint that rides on water
at sunset, dancing.
You are a million sweltering stars
risen from a field of black night.
A million suns, spun with flashing planets,
Rising and setting metallic flame.
You are the taste of honey,
Your mouth is thick with it.
Pollen, viscid,
In which I would welcome drown.
You are the sheen of summer,
Coins in a well,
A wish upon each aurulent kiss,
My absent, glittering prize.
Critique, if you wish.
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 2:15 pm
That is beautiful, although it spawns from another ill forsaken internet relationship! I am so serious, these types of relations could mess you up! I have first hand experience..and a love sick soul..anyway I love your imagery in here, everything peaks the senses. The only thing that bothers me is the wording in the first life and midway through when you say "I would welcome drown" Those lines work but I think it would do wonders if you changed the wordings.
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 5:05 pm
i decided to post one more and this was created because of yes another internet relationship though it dont mention it well here it is.
Dancein in the light
Leanin against the wall barely out of sight watchin you from afar as you dance in the light. Wishin you were here dancein with me instead of her. Ill let you dance with her till you notice me in the dark even though I’m jest a blur. You’ll realize I know you more then anyone else in your life. Then maybe ill be the one with you dancein in the light.
lol this one is so not one of my best work xp whee sweatdrop
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 5:59 pm
"Absence"
Written by a friend of mine.
I wake.
The world seems to be scowling,
because of your absence from my life.
I cut myself,
The blood drips out, I feel no pain,
because of my absence from your touch.
I smile,
but feel no happiness at all,
because of my absence from your mind.
I lay down,
but don't fall asleep,
because of your absence from by bed.
I stare,
but don't see anything,
because of your absence from my eyes.
I breathe,
but I suffocate,
because of my absence from your arms.
I cry,
and I feel incurable sorrow,
because of the absence of your kiss.
I live,
but am walking through the part,
because of my absence from you.
Life has no flavor,
no incentive,
no purpose,
no love,
because of my absence from your heart.
Makes me cry, every time.
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 6:18 pm
i love that poem it almost made me cry cry
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 6:50 pm
Thy touch makes my shoulder relax after I have foughten.
Thy eyes breathe me new life.
This is why I protect my lady and guard her so.
If you approach her and treat her wrongly,
Then I must answer with the words she knows me for.
You may not harm my lady.
She cares for my wounds when the battle is done, I care for her no matter what.
Me love romance!!!
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 7:11 pm
MangaJoe Thy touch makes my shoulder relax after I have foughten. Thy eyes breathe me new life. This is why I protect my lady and guard her so. If you approach her and treat her wrongly, Then I must answer with the words she knows me for. You may not harm my lady. She cares for my wounds when the battle is done, I care for her no matter what. Me love romance!!!
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