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 Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 11:42 am
Alrighty.
Well I have a friend who apparently got pregnant recently. I over heard her talking about it to her other friends. She said that she wasn't finnancially nor mentally ready to have a baby, not only this, but she is 15 years old! Her friends tell her this baby will ruin her life, they also tell her to think about herself in this situation.
Well, she knows one of the dangers of abortion so she is having second thoughts.
Now, I myself, am strictly Pro-Life. I didn't speak up today because I didn't want to discuss this infront of her friends, I wanted to have a one on one conversation on it.
I was wondering how I may convince her to carry her pregnancy to full term. I know many facts and stories on how abortion is dangerous.
She is a month pregnant.
When might be an appropriate time to talk with her about this? How do I confront her?
I mean we aren't best friends, but I still know her and she knows me.
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:19 pm
You could do just that -- talk to her, and tell her she can still go to school if she has the baby. You could tell her the truth about things, and that she should not have it, and if she did, she would regret it later. I know it sounds like using scare tactics, but if she doesn't know and goes along with it, she could end up living with it the rest of her life.
Also, if she sees it more as a baby and not just a pregnancy, it might help, if she gets an ultrasound, (I think that's what it's called?) and she could see her baby. I've read stories about how this changed people's minds about having an abortion, maybe it would help. Then again, don't they always have ultrasounds during pregnancies?
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:23 pm
yes, you should tell her how much it would mean to the child whose life would be saved... let her know that it's not just about her, but about someone elses life...
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:23 pm
Be there for her. Period.
You can't scare someone out of continuing pregnancy and if you try you may lose your friend. Just talk to her as a friend, tell her that you're there to help (her AND her child) however you can. Tell her to research all her options before deciding, otherwise she may regret it. Also direct her towards somewhere like BirthRight.
My best friend got pregnant when she was 15 (she was 16 when she gave birth) and she's now back in school, a year behind me now (but chances are she wouldn't even be that far had she not been pregnant, another topic all together) with a beautiful daughter, Kaylee. I'm Kaylee's honourary aunt.
While Danielle was pregnant I advised her to give Kaylee up for adoption, while she listened to my advice she didn't take it and had I tried too hard to push it, I doubt she and I would still be so close.
If nothing else I'm sure there would be a few teenage mom's willing to talk to her about their experiences. If she would like to talk to someone and you don't know anyone who she could talk to let me know and I'll find someone for you.
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 1:02 pm
www.clinicquotes.com www.abort73.com
Two sites that reveil the common lies and missconceptions on abortion and abortion providers and advocates. If she's havign secodn thoughts then she should be easy to talk to about that. Be there for her, try to convince her that there are people willingly to help financialy and try and help her find them.
There are other friendlier sites as well, you can find thos ein the link list.
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 7:07 pm
Beware the Jabberwock Be there for her. Period.
You can't scare someone out of continuing pregnancy and if you try you may lose your friend. Just talk to her as a friend, tell her that you're there to help (her AND her child) however you can. Tell her to research all her options before deciding, otherwise she may regret it. Also direct her towards somewhere like BirthRight.
My best friend got pregnant when she was 15 (she was 16 when she gave birth) and she's now back in school, a year behind me now (but chances are she wouldn't even be that far had she not been pregnant, another topic all together) with a beautiful daughter, Kaylee. I'm Kaylee's honourary aunt.
While Danielle was pregnant I advised her to give Kaylee up for adoption, while she listened to my advice she didn't take it and had I tried too hard to push it, I doubt she and I would still be so close.
If nothing else I'm sure there would be a few teenage mom's willing to talk to her about their experiences. If she would like to talk to someone and you don't know anyone who she could talk to let me know and I'll find someone for you. Ditto. Although I cannot speak from experiance like Miranda can, I do know that having a good friend can be the most important thing when things are their hardest. But that, I mean a friend who does everything they can to help. Her other peers did their part, now you can let her know her other options and assure her hat it's actually okay for her to have the baby if abortion isn't feeling right. As for how to approach her...If it were me...I'd probably say something along the lines of I apologize for what must seem like evesdropping but I had overheard you talking to your friends about your pregnancy and I want to help you out too. Can we talk in later (if the current moment isn't appropriate)? Or swap IM names?...or something like that only sounded less scripted.
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 6:42 pm
So talk with her. Tell her the dangers of abortion for both the mother and child (which is murdered in an abortion). Also, maybe you should have her talk with her parents to see if they'd help support her child. And if not there's always adoption, my best friend was adopted. At school last year a fifteen year old girl was pregnant, her son is sooo cute! 4laugh She stayed in school for most of her pregnancy, she was out of school towards the end of her pregnancy, but then came back for the rest of the year. Everyone at school was so supporting for her (and she gave out baby pics to her friends after he was born!)
Good luck! If your religious you could pray for her also, that always helps, because God is a cool guy, ya know.
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 1:18 pm
In the highschools in my area they actually had a special program for pregnant students and students with children. They helped out with childcare and scheduling, and most girls would only go to school for part of the day.
We were a pretty backwards redneck place, too, so maybe you'll have the same helpful programs where you are or perhaps even better ones (it's been 10 years since I was in school!)
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 5:25 pm
You can't force them into going up to full term but you can tell her that she can always get help (people will help), maybe talk to her parents, she should anyways even if she want's to abort, her parents should know since she is still a minor and living with them, maybe they would help her. Tell her if she can't or don't want to keep, there is always adoption. Let her know of all the choices.
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 8:59 pm
I am not sure what your going through but all I can say is that if my best friend ever considered an abortion I would tell them everything I knew about it and hopefully change there mind.
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