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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2026 3:58 pm
Ilmare had hunted long and hard for a bus bench that was completely unoccupied. Her knuckles had mostly scabbed over and the bruising had faded to an odd shade of green-yellow. She’d opted to leave them uncovered to allow the injuries a chance to breathe. Besides, she’d noticed that the buts and bruising had earned her a tiny reprieve. All she’d said was she’d gotten them during an encounter with a knight. They’d clearly assumed she’d been in a vicious fight and while they weren’t being nice, there was, perhaps, not quite as much suspicion being directed her way.
For now, she thought grimly, settling herself on the bench and laying on her back. The moment anyone noticed that she wasn’t really being productive, the watching and whispers would begin all over. For now, that was a tomorrow problem. Closing her eyes, she reached into subspace and fumbled for a moment before her fingers found what they sought and withdrew with a pack of cloves and a lighter. She opened her eyes long enough to make sure that she wouldn’t set herself on fire lighting up and then closed them again as she took a long drag and shoved the box and lighter back into subspace.
“Filthy habit,” she murmured to herself as she blew smoke. “I’m going to regret starting this s**t again. But later.” It was peaceful just laying on the bench and letting her oodles of hair fall to the ground. She couldn’t see the stars, but the sky above was an inky black. She had a place up there somewhere. If she could ever make herself run, she’d get there a lot faster.
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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2026 4:33 pm
The Order signature that flared up was not immediately near, but near enough - and almost immediately approaching, growing more insistent as its owner apparently made tracks towards her own. But it was very quiet, and a large open space with no signs of civilian-aimed shenanigans was promising, and Joy - for so it was - slowed down as she grew nearer, especially when she managed to get eyes on the lone figure and was assured that there was no immediate threat to dispatch. She had, herself, been quite lax on the patrolling front lately. It felt like too much to do. Easier to exert some pressure on Maus or whoever else was amenable to her suggestions, to get their Order cooties all over the place in what would hopefully be a lasting deterrent. It was a relief, therefore, to not be called into action that she never felt adequate to perform in any case. She stopped, therefore, quite some distance away: a luxurious figure in the dim of streetlights, although her head was silhouetted against a disc of gold that seemed strangely to be illuminated by some unseen sun, like the halo on an old drawing of a saint. Her voice, however, was no saint's at all, rising up to carry with a dry sarcasm in it and just a hint of a down-in-the-holler drawl. "Not the cloves," she said. "Needs some armpit and gauged-ear stink or you're missing the full bouquet." It was not an opening volley she would have offered a few months ago. But Maus - and Maus alone - had shifted her perspective somewhat. It was not for her to evangelize and convert, and she certainly wouldn't be out here making any alliances. But there lurked, always, the dim hope-and-dread that she was approaching someone who might be, as he was, desperate for a help that would move the tally of this awful stalemate game in a favorable direction.
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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2026 6:46 pm
Cracking open an eye and turning her head just enough to see that this was Someone New, Ilmare tensed briefly. Then relaxed ever so slightly at the opening volley. Turning her face back to the sky, she sighed and waved her cigarette bearing hand in a sort of yeah well gesture. "They're faster at settling my nerves than normal tobacco," she offered. "And they remind me of the goth club." She left it at that, sensing that this stern, golden woman wasnt the sort to get crummy. And maybe that was just as well. Ilmare didn't want to put any crosshairs on people just trying to do their jobs. Though...
"I have menthols in my subspace if that's more your style, but you dont really seem like the sort who'd light up. No offense, of course. Just the impression I got."
The corrupt was more than content to stay where she was. It would go a way towards proving she meant no ill. And given the aura rolling off the knight, she wanted to look as harmless as possible. Instead, she waved her hand again, letting the dim street lights illuminate her bruises. "I'd offer to shake, but pretty sure that'd hurt like a mofo. Please accept this genial wave instead."
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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2026 8:48 pm
There was a lengthy silence, during which Joy contemplated the best course of action. Maybe she should drift on. But the thing that stopped her was the indication of those battered knuckles, which she had quite overlooked. "And who of us," she asked, with a touch of coolness, "did you do that on? Asking a bit much if you're wanting my pity for it."
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2026 5:57 am
And there it was. The suspicion. Sighing again, Ilmare turned her head just enough to be able to keep the knight in sight, studying her for a moment before answering. "Unless you have actual dead trees and the walls of abandoned buildings within your ranks, I didn't do a damned thing to one of you. To be perfectly honest, I try really hard to stay out of everyone's way when I'm out. Plausible deniability, y'know? Can't be punished for not hurting people if there weren't any people around to hurt."
She didnt really expect this lady to understand. Now, Maus understood because he'd experienced many of the same feelings. Ekstrom probably understood and even if she didn't, she'd seen Ilmare in action enough to extend some grace. Saiph understood. She'd been the very first to vouch for her when they'd been fighting the Hallow. She thought about saying all this and decided not to. There was no reason to expect this knight to know those names. Instead, she snorted a little and wiggled her hand again after taking a long drag.
"Consider this. If I really wanted to start s**t would I be laying here, vulnerable, and smoking? I know you can feel auras too. You'd know if I had an attempted ambush waiting. You can't hide auras like that without a pack of cats. And its really hard to hide that many cats in an open space like this." Another long drag before she ground the stubborn on the sidewalk and carefully stowed the butt in subspace to throw away later. "Lady, I only came out here to think."
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2026 6:56 am
She was silent, again, and did not say that it wasn't that hard to hide an ambush if you were willing to stash them away in civilian form until the moment that they weren't. It didn't need to be said. "Easier to think like this than it is to think like - whoever you are when you're not this?" she asked, and while there was still some skepticism in it, it wasn't like she was lashing out. Maybe the skepticism wasn't for her potential for violence, but for some other cause. She added: "I met a guy once who told me the worst part was being paranoid all the time and ******** if he wasn't right, but you will at least grant me that we have reason to be ******** paranoid."
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2026 7:16 am
"Yes, it is," Ilmare said, voice neutral. "At least I have a chance to defend myself in this form if my bosses decide I'm more trouble than I'm worth. Not a great chance, but better than if I was a civvie." She didn't like the thought, but knew that it was a growing possibility with every tiny defiance. Then, she snorted again, this time clearly amused. "Your guy wasn't and isn't wrong. I'm firmly of the opinion that the paranoia is a carefully nurtured feature rather than a bug at this point."
She didn't have to say anything about the knight having the need or right to be a little paranoid. The Dark Kingdom fed on that s**t. Reveled in it. It was probably their greatest tool that wasn't a giant ******** laser.
She sighed again, suddenly very tired. "Yeah, I don't think I'd trust me either in your shoes."
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2026 7:33 am
"I am aware," said the knight, in a tone of cool, rational introspection rather than emotion, "that this is a war of conscription on both sides. I'm not unreasonable. I just have a hard time imagining being conscripted on your particular side and not - doing something about it." One of Joy's biggest failings - perhaps the biggest failing of her character, all things considered - was her stubborn belief that anyone not living up to her personal standards was simply not trying hard enough. But it certainly had more objectionable manifestations than this. Certainly, it might be argued that not actively draining anyone was, in fact, doing something about it - but certainly it might also be argued that it wasn't enough. Depended, maybe, on who was doing the arguing. "Anyway," she added, smoothing her skirt in a needless little motion of regal detachment, "My trust isn't relevant. I'm not out here trying to convert anyone. And if the best you can do is keep your nose out of making active trouble for people who also didn't ask for any of this, then I've got no desire to antagonize you, either, because it's better than some. Bigger fish to fry, you know? It's not that I trust you to be telling the truth," she added bluntly, "so much as that you seem too burnt out to bother." She paused. "Which probably makes it easier for them to put the screws to you," she reflected neutrally. "But I don't see them out here doing it right now. So maybe I'll just mosey on and let you keep thinking."
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2026 8:43 am
Resentment flared for a moment, causing Ilmare's eyes to narrow and her jaw to tighten. Something in the knight's words made her desperately wish for the power to Freaky Friday this chick. Let her see and experience things before she started acting all judgy. But the impulse passed and she turned her face away, staring at the sky. Reminding herself that she had a place up there. Somewhere.
Feeling slightly calmer, she waved without looking. And when she replied, her voice only had a little edge to it. "You'll really have no idea and I honestly hope you never do," she said. "But in that judgement you seem to be laying on me, consider this. They keep ******** records on us. Everyone we know and love. So yeah. I will lay here and think. Because I can't just up and run and leave others to be harmed in my place. Maybe I'm willing to die defying them. But my family? The little pack of goths I've been friends with for years? I'm not willing to skip the ******** off and leave them to settle that tab." Her voice grew softer. "You have no ******** clue how... creative they can be when they want to make a point."
She might have exaggerated slightly to make her point. But she knew agents that had suddenly vanished. She'd heard stories about where some new youma came from. Maybe it was all a big con job to keep them in line. But maybe not. She had firsthand experience with agents who were happy to terrify and starseed children. It wasnt that much of a stretch that there would be Generals who were worse than that.
"Enjoy your mosey, lady. May it be uneventful."
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2026 8:59 am
She had been, in fact, preparing to move on. But she stopped to listen to the stranger's whining - as she mentally termed it, unfortunately - and grew colder and angrier, that white trash demeanor falling away and replaced by something more like the steely queen she looked like she ought to be. She shouldn't, really, care what one nameless corrupted soul thought of her. And she didn't, really - she cared that these things could be said without a rebuttal. "You don't know me any more than I know you," she said. "So I'll forgive you for not knowing that while I may be a lot of things, a ******** hypocrite isn't one of them and never will be. You'd be ******** astonished, the sort of things I'd be willing to do and what I'd be willing to sacrifice if it was between that and loathing myself, and I make it a point not to get too close to anyone that wouldn't do the same. Anyone worth anything to me would throw me right into the meat grinder, if it was the right thing to do and the only way for them to respect their own conscience. And if the entire world ran on that principle, then no amount of creative cruelty would keep them functional. But maybe it's easier to hate yourself," she continued coolly, "than to do what hurts to make sure that you never hate yourself again. Not maybe. I know that it is. Else people wouldn't be doing it constantly, all the time."
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2026 9:26 am
Oh please, Ilmare thought. Just a little high and mighty, aren't we. Still, she wisely kept that opinion purely internal. But she was tired of this. If some hoity toity knight was okay with throwing her family into the meat grinder, bully for her. Sitting up, she kept watching the sky before standing up and stretching.
Only then did she turn to face the knight, her expression an odd mixture of pity and annoyance. "How lovely for you. Sorry I don't have the luxury of tossing my completely in the dark family to the wolves as some sort of '******** You' to the Generals. Guess not wanting to see my niblings experimented on makes me weak or some s**t."
Really, there was no talking with some people. Stretching again, she gave the knight one last look, as if trying to figure out how much was bluster and how much fiery idealization of herself. Not that it mattered in the end.
"Whatever. Enjoy your high horse, girlypop," Ilmare finally said before using one of the few non-problematic skills being a corrupt provided and teleporting away.
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