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It was freaking cold in Destiny City. At least Blarney had long sleeves and pants, though; his sister had opted out of prowling around downtown in the freezing cold, thank you, given her sleeveless state. He couldn’t really blame her - it was darn cold, but…it was also kind of nice. Quiet. The post-holiday blues had started nipping at his heels, and Blarney had decided that fighting bad guys was better and overall more productive than fighting his own inner demons.

So he found himself jumping from roof to roof, and a few moments later, an energy signature flickered the edge of his consciousness. He didn’t think it was overly strong - not anything like the absolutely horrifying enemies he and Edam had fought. Or…maybe ‘fought’ would be more accurate a word. Or maybe ‘the absolutely horrifying enemies that had kicked his and Edam’s heinies’ would be the most accurate phrasing of all. He shuddered at the very memory - he had maybe never been so frightened as he had been before Encke showed up.

But you had to get back on the horse. Or the roof. Whichever. So back out he went, because you couldn’t just let one insanely powerful very evil guy ruin your entire superhero career. Right? Right?

He spotted her hair first - it stood out against the snow, bright pink as it was. And then the snow bumps started to move around her and Blarney frowned: the sheep. He’d met them with Ekstrom, and they were perfectly harmless little creatures, if a big pushy and demanding for attention. But they were harmless, and Blarney’s frown deepened - they didn’t need to be harassed by bad guys.

So he sprung into action. Blarney of Earth, Sheep Defender.

“Hey,” Blarney called from afar, then louder, because it was windy, “hey! Leave the sheep alone!”

Blarney raised an eyebrow. Nobody ever said sheep were smart, he wanted to say. He wanted to say they probably had snow, or fluff, for brains as well as bodies.

But he didn’t. Because now that he was closer, he could see that the sheep didn’t seem to be struggling. Or bleeding. Or, like, dead, or whatever. He knew that the sheep were strong enough to run away if something was hurting them…probably…or at least run over whatever was hurting them. Or something.

So maybe the lady was just taking some sheep cuddles, and not doing anything necessarily evil.

Hm.

Blarney strode forward, but kept his voice quiet as he approached. “Are you doing anything untoward with those sheep, lady?”

“Wait–what–no, I–” Blarney blushed scarlet, which he knew stood out nice and bright in contrast to the winter weather around them. “I wasn’t saying you were f–doing anything like that, I meant, like, stealing its energy or whatever it is you guys do! And, hey, I don’t eat flowers!” he added, indignant. He couldn’t speak for all of Order - he still wasn’t quite sure the deal with some of those alien guys he’d run into - but his sister was lucky if she got him to eat leaves, never mind flowers.

The only flowers he liked were the ones that people gave him or he gave other people, or the ones currently resting on his head, thank you very much.

“And also,” he added, actually waggling his finger at her, “our ideals are not idiotic. I’m not a creep, you guys are the creeps, because you go around stealing people’s lives from them! And also literally murdering people sometimes. I was totally within bounds to make sure you weren’t hurting the sheep, is what I’m saying. You’re the one who made it weird, weirdo.”

Yeah. That would show her.

“Why would you drain people, who are often sweet soft and adorable too??” Blarney challenged. “I am not a perv. I’m an Earth Knight! I’m like, basically physically incapable of being a perv.” As Blarney spoke, his golden aura activated, the faint light surrounding him making him look almost saintly.

His eyes were trained on the wand she summoned, all mirth gone from his expression - fun though it was to trade verbal barbs over who was pervier.

(It was not him.)

“You gonna use that thing?” Blarney asked, unhooking his shillelagh from his back. “Or are you just gonna head back to whatever creepy little hive you people crawl out of to murder people and steal their energy and call it good?” Blarney paused. “And also, I don’t think sheep can survive in Evilville. They’re too pure, too good.”

“Yep. Golden Glowing Sheep Stalker. The third, actually. Family name, you know,” Blarney said dryly, spinning his shillelagh over his fingers like a baton. He opened his mouth to introduce himself properly, but Joy’s voice bubbled up in his head - his identity was too important to give out willy-nilly to someone who insisted that he was a perv. At least without trying to get something in return.

“I’ll tell you my real name if you tell me yours,” he said, after a moment of hesitation, his eyes still on her wand. She might say it was just bubbles in that thing, but he didn’t trust her - even if it was ‘just’ bubbles, they were probably evil bubbles somehow. Bubbles that would poison him. Or carry him away. Or something.

“Look, I was just making sure the sheep was okay,” he said with a sigh, shaking his head. The sheep in question let out a little bleat, like it was taking her side, which Blarney found exceptionally rude. “And it clearly is,” he added, “so I guess I’m sorry I bothered you. Do you want to go back to getting your cuddles in, or go home or whatever, or are we gonna have a problem?”

It really seemed like they were gonna have a problem, honestly, but Blarney wouldn’t be the first one to make it violent if it didn’t have to be.

In Blarney's ideal world, she would be the one to leave - but the sheep were here, and she wanted to hang out with the sheep, so that…was kind of an unforced error on his own part. Dang it.

So they were not in Blarney's ideal world.

“Fine,” Blarney said, grudgingly. “Fine. Just stick with the sheep. Leave humans alone tonight,” Blarney added quickly, “or else next time there will be way less talking, Sheep Cuddler.”

And then he beat feet and retreated, hop-hop-hopping back to the roofs of the city and the cold, cold night. He'd be circling back around, he promised himself, and he'd make sure that cuddling sheep was all she got up to - or else.