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 Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2024 5:44 pm
When Sessrumnir finally opened his eyes again, a quiet peace had settled around them. At some point, the barrier protecting the trees had been reestablished and the rain and wind had settled to a gentle breeze and drip here and there. The loud cracks of thunder were no more, instead leaving only a muted rumble in the distance.
Sessrumnir looked up at the little orb of light, and at the little shrine that had been built around it. He hadn’t thought it would have been constructed by the previous Sessrumnir, but whatever dreams -- memories? -- he’d experienced proved otherwise.
The connection through the earrings and the necklace he wore made him fairly confident that he hadn’t been the only one to witness the past.
“Thank you, Devyn,” Sessrumnir said as he turned his head from the gently spinning Code piece to his husband. He reached up to brush some of the lingering raindrops from Alastor’s cheek. “For staying with me. And everything you’ve done. For me and Percy.”
He took a breath and glanced around them again. The grove seemed a lot calmer, more like he was used to, but there were still puddles of water everywhere. It would take some time for it to clear out. He reached up to take off the earring and held it out for Alastor.
“I’ve never had a memory that intense before. I don’t even know if I’d call it a memory… You saw it too…?”
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Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2024 6:00 pm
Devyn was quiet for a moment, like it was more difficult for him to pry himself to the memories they’d just witnessed. Maybe it was the first time Michael had seen them, but for Devyn it was like watching a part of his life replay. It was easy to remember what he was thinking, what he was feeling. His heart ached for a dozen different reasons and though he rubbed at his chest it didn’t ease the pressure there.
He leaned into Michael’s touch instinctively. Sometimes it was easy to get lost in his memories. He just needed a moment to work through the fog. Past and present didn’t often collide but it was strange to travel from such a vivid, distant memory back to the present. His mind was a little hazy.
Devyn knew he was looking at Michael, it was just strange to compare what he’d seen just now to what he’d seen back then. He remembered most of it, at least the important parts.
After his cheek was pressed into Michael’s palm for a moment longer, he released a deep, calming breath. He was a little light headed but he didn’t think it was because he’d been holding his breath for that long.
Devyn might have been there for some of it but there were glimpses of things that he knew had happened, he just hadn’t been there to see himself.
He didn’t need thanks. Reaching out to accept the other earring, he still didn’t move his face from Michael’s touch.
“Are you all right?”
The memory had taken a lot out of him; he’d been so engrossed in it that he’d hardly been aware of the passing of time. Though he was grateful that the Code seemed calmer and that the storm had abated, he couldn’t help but worry about Michael. Between the Code itself being disrupted, and the severity of the storm, and the heaviness of the memory, of course he was going to worry about his husband.
He wrapped his hands around his waist to pull him close. Just for a moment, in case he needed it as much as Devyn did.
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Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2024 6:01 pm
It was easy for Michael to wrap his arms around Devyn and hold him close. He kissed the side of his face and stroked his hand through his hair. He hadn’t asked if he was okay because he didn’t expect Devyn to even have time to process if he was okay or not. He would ask later, once they had time to relax.
But he knew Devyn must have been worried about him.
“A little shaky, but better now that the storm isn’t as loud. I still feel like a lot of my energy has been drained,” he explained as he rubbed Devyn’s back.
He didn’t look okay, Michael noted. He wanted to ask, but knew he would probably get an affirmative answer.
It felt strange to just walk away now, after everything. He could still hear the echoes in his head of things that had nothing to do with a storm. But then he had two lifetimes cascading over each other.
He felt wary and unsure, especially with the Code now seeming so at peace, and Devyn looking so shaken. And he hadn’t verified with Michael that he had seen all those things, which meant that he had.
“We don’t have to talk now… but I’m here, okay? Whenever you’re ready. Or… if you don’t want to, I’ll respect that. But I hope you will.”
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Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2024 6:10 pm
At this, Devyn laughed softly but it came from a place deep down and sounded surprisingly honest despite how off kilter he looked. In many ways, Michael was like Percy. They had their differences, and Devyn had the pleasure of getting to love both of them for the things they shared and the things unique to each of them. It didn’t hurt to remember Percy, only to remember that he’d lost him.
Michael was always so good to him about it, always so supportive.
He hugged Michael tightly, enough that he could pick him up off his feet for just a second, too. Little dramatics, to let Michael know he was okay without him saying as much. The words wouldn’t have felt real if he’d just said them so he had to show him, too.
“I love you, Michael. You’re very good to me. Very sweet of Sessrumnir to remind me that I am, perhaps, a bit unnecessarily evasive about such things.” There was so much to unpack in the memory, but that stood out now. “Occasionally,” he amended.
Old habits were easy to fall into, especially when he’d been trying so hard to convince everyone that he was okay. Especially when he was trying not to show that he wasn’t.
He was tired now, he let Michael see that. Distant, but not away from Michael. He just felt like he was both here and in some far off place. Awake and asleep. He could drift in an endless sea of memories if he didn’t have a good port to dock in. Thankfully, Michael was both steady and reliable, and always there for him. He set him back on the ground but he didn’t let him go.
“I’m more tired than I thought I would be. When we’re done here, we should help ourselves to a warm bath and head to bed. And a snack, somewhere in between. We can talk. About anything you like.” He’d kept so much inside for so long that he wasn’t always sure when he wanted–needed–to talk. For all of his stories, for his love of speaking, sometimes he just didn’t know where to start.
But he knew there was no rush, and no pressure. Michael was easy to talk to. And he had asked so nicely, how could Devyn deny him anything?
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Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2024 6:42 pm
“Occasionally,” Michael agreed, a bit exasperated by Devyn’s admittance, although he made sure to not do anything to topple Devyn over when he picked him up.
There were a lot of things Michael had questions about. A lot of things he felt guilty for being able to witness. He felt like a stranger that was rifling through important photo albums or home videos.
“Definitely a snack. I’m hungry too,” he admitted as he rubbed Devyn’s back again.
He wouldn’t tell Devyn, because surely Devyn expects to do it for him, but Michael had every intention of pampering him as best he could.
“What do you feel like eating? I think the boys will be on the Moon tonight, but I can send a message to Elliot just to make sure they stay there, or go to his parents if they come back. Just so we’ll be able to sleep in. I haven’t--”
Michael paused, because it was always difficult to talk about it, and he didn’t want to exaggerate or downplay how he was feeling. He didn’t want Devyn thinking he was keeping things from him. Not when he wanted Devyn to be open with him as well.
“I haven’t been so lost in my own memories and thoughts in a while. I’m glad you were with me. I don’t think I would have made it here without you,” he confessed, glancing over at the Code once more.
“I’d let Princess out but… I think she’d just cause more chaos with all this water and mud.”
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Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2024 6:44 pm
The honesty was unexpected, but welcome. Devyn never asked for more than Michael was comfortable with–most of the time–but he wasn't against trying to coax him to share his thoughts when the situation demanded it.
“She’ll just come out when we leave,” Devyn laughed. “I’m surprised she’s not out and about already. I like to think she gets into all sorts of trouble up here when there’s no one here to stop her.” Although the lack of muddy pawprints around Sessrumnir might have indicated otherwise, it was still a nice dream.
He smoothed his hand down Michael’s back again and breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Some of the weight he’d been carrying fluttered out of his chest as he did so, and he briefly considered taking a few moments to just sigh heavily at everything until he felt a bit more normal.
“I’ll eat anything,” he answered, which was true but it might have been unfair to place the burden of decision on Michael when he must have been under so much pressure. Devyn would have to pamper him when they got home. Or he could start now. “We should stop at whatever restaurant is open and smells best on our way back home. There’s at least one pizza place that’s good. They have good tiramisu. Maybe we can get enough that the boys can stop by and take some over if they’re going to spend the night with the Reids.” It was unspoken, but he was sure that he knew as well as Michael did that the boys would probably at least want to see them to touch base after they finished at their Wonders. Undoubtedly, neither he nor Michael would turn them away no matter what, but if Michael had questions…
Devyn had answers. And he’d stay up all night if that’s what it took to talk everything out. So it was best if they went to the Reids unless they wanted to spend a very boring, quiet morning back home with them.
Delayed by one more kiss, it was only after that he spoke again. “Thank you for letting me be here with you. I’m sure you could have done it on your own, you’re capable of doing so much, Michael. But I’m glad that you didn’t have to. There is nothing in this world or any other that you’ll have to face by yourself.”
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Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2024 6:46 pm
Michael laughed as well, thinking about how Princess would probably get into all kinds of trouble when they weren’t there, but she probably stayed away to let them figure things out.
He indulged any and every kiss, although when the most recent one broke, Michael leaned close to press his forehead against Devyn’s. He lifted his hand to the back of Devyn’s neck and head to keep him there, his other arm still wrapped around him.
“I love you,” he hummed. He knew he didn’t have to say it, but he didn’t want Devyn having any questioning thoughts.
“And all of your evasiveness. But getting some tiramisu and pizza sounds good. Thank you for believing in me. It’s difficult to believe in myself sometimes,” he admitted with a sigh. “Having you here with me… well, I can understand why Percy thought of you as his strength.”
Michael knew that Devyn had a lot of hardship he lived through. Good times, too. But he understood what it was like to lose people.
“Ready to head back then?”
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Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2024 7:45 pm
Once more, Devyn was reminded of how lucky he was. Of course, he was not oblivious to the hardships; he felt them very heavily.
But he also understood that despite everything, he was here–now–with Michael. The universe could have kept them separate for longer, or it could have waited until his starseed was reborn before he was allowed to embark on his quest to find his other half.
“Is that so?”
He didn’t need an answer, he didn’t think Michael was just saying things to fill the silence. “He was my strength, too. As you are. And I love you very much, Michael. You have healed something immeasurable damaged within me. Every morning I wake up glad to be alive, and glad to be next to you. Every good day with you erases a year of misery from my heart. Words cannot describe what you have done for me. But I’ll try to tell you, anyway. After pizza and tiramisu. Maybe in the bath. Certainly in bed. For you, I will do my best.”
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Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2024 7:53 pm
All Michael could do for a few moments was stand there with Devyn and try not to be too obvious about how flustered he felt. It didn’t help that he had a love for poetry and Devyn’s words were always so poetic.
But for how many poems he’d read or memorized or written, he was momentarily speechless.
“If every good day erases just a year, and you’ve had to be alone for hundreds, then that just means we’ll keep having to have good days until all you know is peace and happiness,” Michael promised after a few moments to collect himself.
“And… same goes for me.”
One day they would be able to look back on everything and see everything they’d accomplished. For now, they would just take one step at a time.
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