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 Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2024 8:37 pm
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Pyxis felt like she was never going to be dry again.
She had taken to bathing - frequently. So frequently that her sisters were beginning to tease her, but she didn't care; she was hopeful that if she could just get clean enough, she might be able to rid herself of the scent that was actively incriminating her. Every time she thought perhaps she had rid herself of it, she'd shake her beautiful hair a different direction and back it would come wafting to her nostrils.
She was starting to think that perhaps she was driving herself a little bit mad.
It didn't help that, by default, she didn't have her usual respite, her usual retreat, where she could center and calm herself. She didn't have the quiet voice of one of the few males that seemed to care for the natural world almost as much as she did (almost).
No, Pyxis Gloriosa had made, what she could admit to herself and absolutely no one else, something that might be constituted by some as something akin to a...
She shuddered.
A mistake.
And now, in her most miserable, wettest moments, she was sure she could never return to the greenhouse again. She would have to spend her life avoiding it and Lotus.
But a mare is more than her most miserable moments, and after too many useless, frustrating trips to the river to count, Pyxis knew that there was only one way to rid herself of this disgusting feeling that coiled in her stomach every time she let her mind become still, or wander in the direction of one of her most favorite past-times.
She would have to address it. Address him - Lotus. She knew, logically, that as a female it was her right to do as she would, but in her heart of hearts, she knew that just because she could didn't mean she should.
More than that, Pyxis knew she couldn't live like this forever, and so after all the avoidance one mare could take, finally, she marched her way over to the greenhouse, where she knew Lotus would be waiting and working in his patient, particular way.
She paused only a moment at the entrance, to take one deep breath. She was a daughter of the Flock, and she had done more difficult things than this. There was nothing left but to do it, so do it she must.
Pyxis Gloriosa entered the greenhouse with her head held high and made her way decisively over to Lotus.
"I need to speak with you."
WC: 425 |
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Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2024 6:51 pm
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After having been escorted to the Flock's "greenhouse" (he was still mystified by how such a thing can exist), he carefully went down the rows to check on the progress of some of the newest seedlings. Some had sprouted, while others needed more time. Lowering his nose to the soil, he sniffed and nodded to himself. Good, the earth here is still healthy and shouldn't need supplementing just yet. He thought.
Ears flicking toward the entrance, he raised his head and slowly turned in a fluid motion. "I am here to serve, Pyxis." He said, bowing his head in respect to the vibrant mare before him. What he could make out of her figure, it shimmered like the vibrant plants he so tenderly cared for. Her tone, and the words she chose when she spoke to him, made him concerned. Had he made a mistake in coming here? He'd assumed the Flock had granted him permission to enter, provided he was escorted at all times. Even now, the escort waited nearby, clearly bored with her duty but enjoying the time to relax all the same.
(( WC: 185 )) |
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2024 6:51 am
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Pyxis glanced over at his escort and exchanged a nod with her; seeming relieved, her Flock sister left them alone, leaving Pyxis as his escort for the time being.
In truth, it broke her heart, how clearly the anxiety read on his face - he thought he was the one in trouble, when in reality, it should have been Pyxis herself. But Pyxis was female and he was male and that was how things worked here; she simply could not get in the same kind of trouble he could. Pyxis knew this, and most of the time she didn't think anything much about it one way or the other, but today, it was like a burr stuck in her fur, poking and pricking at her.
"Yes," she agreed. He was here to serve, and she tried to remind herself of this fact as she steeled herself for what was to come. He couldn't hurt her, not physically.
But he could choose not to be around her anymore. Even in the Flock, males had that right. The thought of losing the closest thing she had to a friend was, possibly, more painful than if he could just physically attack her. At least that sort of wound might heal in time...
Pyxis opened her mouth to just tell him, to rip the bandage off as it were, but what came out was something else entirely. "How are your plants growing?"
Coward, she thought harshly to herself, her tail flicking in annoyance. Coward, coward, coward.
((WC: 262
Running total: 687))
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2024 1:23 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2024 2:53 pm
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Pyxis was simply the lowest of the low, and there was no way around that fact, in her own mind. Thankfully, she'd sent his escort away, so at least her humiliation would be private, limited in some way. She knew, at least, that as a male in the Flock, he wouldn't breathe a word about what she said...
...she hoped. If her sisters in the Flock found out what she intended to do...well, she might be in real, actual trouble, in that case.
But what was done was done, and what must be done must be done.
So she steeled herself.
"That is what I wanted to speak with you about," she began, trying to keep her voice as authoritative as possible, given the situation. "I...I knew that, already. It...it was not your fault, what happened to the plants. You have only ever tended them with the highest care, and you take your responsibilities seriously. You did not make a mistake, in this instance, Lotus, do you understand me?"
She paused a moment, took a steadying breath. Science, real science, the kind she loved, was all about having a hypothesis and getting proved wrong - rarely did something in science work exactly as expected the very first time. She should be used to it by now; Pyxis Gloriosa was no stranger to being wrong.
She was, however, a stranger to guilt. A stranger to having unintentionally harmed another, even emotionally; she kept to herself, and when she had lashed out in the past, it was with careful, cold precision. It was the first time since her foalhood that she had lost her temper in this way, and she hated that Lotus was taking the brunt of the aftermath of that fact.
Pyxis took a few steps closer to him, in hopes that he could see her face more clearly as she softened her expression and her voice. "I did. I made the mistake, Lotus." She let out a heavy sigh and closed her eyes for a brief moment, letting the relief of confession wash over her, just for a moment or two. "I...I was having difficulties with... well, it doesn't matter what I was having difficulties with. What matters is I was very, very angry, and I... I had to get that anger out of my system, and this place..." she paused to look around their greenhouse, fondness clear on her face.
"This place is where I go to-- to feel most at home. I came here, without thinking, and had..." Pyxis sighed, frustration with herself creeping back into her voice. "I lost my temper. Badly. I didn't-- I didn't mean to hurt the beautiful things you're growing here. I just-- was angry, and it-- it happened so quickly that I didn't even realize what I was-- what I was doing, really, and then when I'd calmed down I looked around and..."
Pyxis dropped her head, all her usual pride and confidence replaced by shame and regret.
"I came here to tell you what happened, and to..."
Saying 'sorry' was never easy. She didn't have much practice at it, especially not to a male.
But she knew what she had to do.
"And to apologize. For the damage done, and for the extra work my moment of...my lack of control has caused you." Now, she did look at him, almost shyly. "I apologize, Lotus. It was a mistake, and it should not have happened. It will not happen again."
((WC: 582
TWC: 1269))
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2024 5:40 pm
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Lotus was wondering what Pyxis kept dancing around trying to say, sensing that it was something of great discomfort to her. And when she finally disclosed what was bothering her... he stood still in shock, trying to process it. Many things kept circling in his mind; she had harmed the plants, she had admitted guilt, she had apologized for it. As a male of the Flock, it was his duty to forgive and forget. To pretend it had never happened. And yet... those poor plants... innocent bystanders to her brief moment of weakness. Shifting uneasily, being careful of the plants nearby, he tried to get his scattered thoughts in order. He knew she was awaiting a reply, some sort of response. Letting out a soft cough, he turned his head to the side. "The plants may have suffered a setback, but they weren't beyond nurturing back to health. It is the way of life for setbacks to occur. It is how we rise above them that sets us apart." He spoke, a gentle smile letting the mare know that even in a moment of weakness, even if it was hurtful, he was glad she had come to him instead of letting it fester. "You honor me with your words."
(( WC: 209
TWC: 581 ))
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2024 7:11 pm
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Pyxis waited, somewhat breathless with anticipation in spite of herself, in spite of the way she'd grown up, and in spite of the countless females of the Flock that had tried to impress upon her just how unimportant the opinion of male was, in the grand scheme of things.
But Lotus was not just 'a male'. He was her friend.
When he looked away from her Pyxis was fairly certain a tiny part of her heart broke off and shattered into dust.
But she couldn't let that show on her face, though she couldn't hide the intensity with which she continued looking at him, trying to read his mind if she could only stare hard enough.
When he finally spoke, Pyxis couldn't help but let out a soft sigh, and she felt some of the tension ease out of her shoulders; maybe now she'd be able to go a full day without climbing into and out of the bathing pools, maybe...but only if she was sure that what he was saying was genuine, and not out fear or obligation.
"You're right, of course," she began, a bit hesitantly, "but all the same, a setback--" she found she liked that word better than any of the ones she'd used herself when thinking of or discussing the incident-- "did occur, and it impacted you, and your dear plants." Pyxis sighed softly.
"I wish for you to be honest with me in this moment, Lotus. Please. I loathe the idea of one thinking one thing and saying another." She hesitated, then added, quickly and somewhat in a rush, "That is not to say you need to--to forgive me. But I wish you to tell me if you don't, so that--so that we are both fully aware of--of where we stand with each other."
Please still want to be my friend. Please don't hate me. Please, please, please...
((WC: 316
TWC: 1585))
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2024 6:36 pm
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At the end of Pyxis's response to his reply, he stood speechless, the wind knocked out of him. If the Flock were to hear about this... She was a female, and acting this way toward him, a male. Was this a thing in the Flock? A rare thing that could happen, and be overlooked? Or would they both get in trouble? Or rather, he would and she'd just get reprimanded. All these thoughts, and more, scurried around in his brain in a panicked frenzy of confusion.
"While it did hurt, learning what actually harmed the plants..." Lotus sighed. "I cannot stay upset with you. They are plants, and easily regrown. I have told the Flock that an unknown animal was the most likely culprit, and it can remain so. Nobody but us needs to know the truth, nor... what just passed between us." He smiled softly, turning back to the plants. "The ones on the further end require a more delicate touch that one such as I cannot provide, due to my poor sight. I would be honored for your assistance." He said, offering an olive branch to the gentle mare.
(( WC: 191
TWC: 772 ))
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2024 7:19 pm
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Relief crashed down onto Pyxis Gloriosa like a wave - like the ocean, in (almost) equal force to the guilt that had been eating her up on the inside. She knew that if her sisters found out about this, however much trouble she would get in, Lotus would be in even more trouble.
...But that didn't mean that she couldn't spend time in one of her favorite places. She was responsible for the greenhouse, arguably more so than Lotus was, and that included tending to what plants were beyond his capabilities. He was still a male, after all, and some things needed a female's touch.
At least, that's what she'd tell any of her Flock sisters that happened to inquire.
Pyxis wished she could say more, to thank him for his understanding, his dignity about this, but her ear twitched as Lotus' chaperone reappeared questioningly at the door. Pyxis glanced over her shoulder and nodded once to her, then looked to Lotus.
Loud enough for the chaperone to hear, Pyxis said, "Yes, of course. Let me show you how to scrape away the dead and leave the living matter unharmed." But as they walked to the end of the row, Pyxis gave him a small, secret little smile, just for him. Nobody else needed to know what had transpired in the greenhouse that day - nobody but herself and Lotus.
That was more than enough for Pyxis.
((WC: 237
TWC: 1822))
- FIN -
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