Welcome to Gaia! ::

This community has been around for 20 years, I've been an original gaian, and in a sense I helped start this community, before the guilds.
Y'all know that story, you also have heard the story of that infamous car wreck that cost me a child and someone dear to me, after they took their own life.
Someone that literally grew up with me.
That someone was named Jenn, what you might not know is that Jenn played the character Yuke, who would eventually become Yukari.
I say this because I didn't want the memory of a character she loved to just... Fade away, and I wanted to take what she did, improve it and make that character proud, make Jenn proud.
I like to think I did, because the Yukari character is rather unforgettable.

and I'm referencing this and telling this story, because as an RPer, as a writer, that's what I wanted to do, tell stories.
Create characters that people strive to want to fight, that "Not so Secret' final boss that when you fought that character
or when you beat that character it meant something.
Ignoring the auto-wins, the politics, all of that. To me when you fought Chrono
it was a big deal, it meant something, it was something you had to earn.
Strive to, fight towards.

and somewhere a long the way, maybe I kind of became that character, friends started calling me Chrono, I'd be addressed as Chrono.
In a sense I became that character, and there lies the problem...

Because in doing so, I would turn down challenges left and right, sure the whole 'I want them to earn it, so it would mean something' aspect was there, that never left, but this mentality of a whole supreme being thing.
Kinda just ate and ate and ate away.

Make no mistake, I'm not using anything I've said an excuse, because I'm going to own up to all I did.
But know this, I am just a guy who helped start this community, did a lot of irreparable damage (and the most out of anyone).
I am the guy that met amazing people inside and out of this community, people I consider friends, family...
I'm the guy that actually got married to a community member.

I am the guy who wanted to, and still wants to write fantastic stories
But more importantly, I am the guy...
That broke your trust, the guy that said and did a lot of things...

Truly selfless things, sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously.
Things that I 'thought' were beneficial to the community... At the behest of others.
I am not asking for forgiveness or 'anything' of the sort.
If you still hate me and want to continue your 'We hate Chrono' clubs, go right ahead.


With that being said...

There is something you did for me, that I cannot thank you enough
Now obviously, you did it at the request of Phoenix, however I believe that you would have done it regardless because you're a decent human being.
That being said...
EEW, I'm sorry for what I did. You know, I know. People that were there know.
I would like to tell you the intentions I had were good, I would like to tell you there was a bigger story to be had.
I would like to tell you a lot of things, but...
What I am going to tell you is
I was selfish, and I apologize.

EWA, during the last BitB tournament...
When I spoke of someone else winning the match, I wasn't clear in my reason as to 'why' they were winning and I should have told you instead of
"Surprise, you're losing...' and be vague.
For that, I apologize for not simply telling you. I will note, 'this' time my intentions were good.
Regardless, of all the times we've butt heads and some of the stuff I pulled.
I apologize, I was too stubborn to see any side but my own.
and I was wrong.

Without getting into the personal stuff, because that should stay just that.
I will say this, I was selfish... I was more than that...
I didn't consider your feelings and I was wrong.
A lot of the stuff I did and said?
I absolutely regret, I wish I could take all of it back.

I'm sorry you got shafted in the Legendary tournament by what happened,
you didn't deserve that.
Sorry it took even longer to apologize

.... Go ******** yourself

There are a lot of things I want to say to you, there are a lot of things I've said about you, to you, that were absolutely uncalled for.
We've butted heads a lot, however there is something that before anything else I need to tell you.
"Thank you"

It is because of you that PF and I became a thing, it is because of you that she got the courage to meet me, because of you we dated, and got married.
None of that would have ever happened if not for you.
I absolutely can not stress this enough.

Thank you

and of course man, I hope you're doing well.
Just know I never forgot, and I apologize for the s**t I did.

Through thick and thin, and a whole lot more, you've put up with my bullshit, and I always wondered...
Why?
But then man it kind of hit me, when you called me Brother... You meant it
I've done a lot of scummy things to you, and ******** man I don't know how and why you never gave up on me.
I've asked a lot of you, and man... I never really thanked you.
I've asked you to keep me in check on certain things, because I 'know' you'll call me out on it, I know you'll put me in the right path.

I am truly, truly sorry for the hell-raising and s**t I put you through...
And I regret that you & the Matt character doesn't recognize the EWA stuff.
That kinda always eats at me when you mention it, or I see Matt's bio and see it.
Trust me... I know why... and I'm... So very... very sorry.
All of it.

I've always asked a lot of you, to use your characters, or incorporate your characters in stories, and I can honestly tell you.
There was never any bad or ill intentions with what I do/did with them, it was to continue the legacy you made.

However, with that said... I did a selfish thing with NGWE, and I regret it.
I can't even say 'But I had stories planned' or anything even remotely of an excuse. I was selfish and greedy and a good guild closed because of it.
It's been eating at me for over 15 years, and as far as I'm aware you never held it against me... At least publically.

Make no mistake though, anything you accomplished in EWA, that was you.
All you.

Thank you for the things you've done, and I'm sorry for what I did.
and as always...

Yatta ~!

Our chat was informative and for my part in a lot of the things. As I said to you, I'll say here as well. I apologize.
That one 'issue', and you know the one I'm talking about.
What happened was not my intention, you have my word on that.
I do appreciate you not making a public aspect on it.
As far as the other things... I forgive you.

As far as your requests go, granted. Done
This thread will be proof of that
As far as not working with certain individuals. I don't blame you.

I certainly did not make things easy for you for the better part of a decade, even more than that.
Sure 'some' of it was probably warranted, some? Certainly not
But a lot of it? You didn't deserve and I profusely apologize
However, after 'all' the s**t I put you through, you stuck around, survived and thrived.
You have my respect kid

Regardless of what happened, you've always had my respect.
I'm well aware the antagonizing and going to the business for myself didn't exactly put me in the best of light in your eyes.

Unintentionally I was trolling years before, but that match request 'was' genuine.
Regardless... I do apologize for not considering 'you'.

When the community died, I was the guy perfectly content on just doing my own thing.
I'd occasionally pop up and invite people or advertise my server but that was it.
Never really had that itch to open guilds or start something new, because man...
I was having fun writing my own s**t without the politics, and I got permission to write other people's characters, explore different stories, use other guild's titles.

and I was fortunate enough, blessed even to have people not only enjoy these stories but actually PAY for my server.
Of course, there'd be burn out and the stuff would get further and further behind and I fell into a bad depression

Certainly didn't help losing heroes, people you worked with, people you idolized
Didn't help losing friends, losing family
That drive to create stories... Kinda started to fade away...

And I came to gaia, just to check out a few things...
And I saw some ******** (for the sake of the story, just know that)
... I saw some ******** go out of their way to antagonize me for no reason.
What did I do to them? Like the ******** man.
Did they want attention? Did I piss them off recently?
Like why would they go out of their way to do the s**t they did?

But it struck a chord. It just amazed me that someone would go out of their way for no reason to do the s**t they did.
First some douchebag makes a poorly put together wrestling promo on youtube while wearing 'flavor of the week' famous wrestler mask... All for attention
... and now this?

Why these people want my attention so bad?
Do they want me to make them famous?
Do they want some sort of validation?
Are they still butthurt after all these years and now that I'm 'gone' they can come out of whatever hole they crawled in previously and dance?


Regardless


I did talk to this individual, and as I thought about it...
I just don't care, I told them... I just don't care
Because here's the thing. That's the past
It's a dumb ******** mistake, but I forgive them.
The community died sure, but certain events have brought people out, people that have been away for a long, long time

and they're excited, they're having fun.
So I'm putting aside all that s**t, all that petty nonsense for the sake of the community.
Will it come back to the way it was? Probably not
But while it's around and people are enjoying things...

You're not getting any drama from me, because while I can't repair the damage I've personally did, and I can't change the past.
I can at least help the future.

I said from the start, but I'll say it again.
I was content on my own stuff, but as people got interested and invested ... And other events started happen.
The option to open things up became more and more of a possibility.

I rather not leave things on a 'What-If'?

Initially, I had 'no' intentions... But to deny something people are excited over
after the mere ask of a question... 'What if we were to open up ____?"
Not going to lie, I 'wish' I was there to see the glimmer in some people's eyes.


and it made me realize:

We are a very niche group of RPers that RP a very niche form of entertainment

We've grown up together, for 5, 10, 15, 20 years

Fought, bickered, stood up for one another, beat the ******** out of each other's characters (and games... And some even physically),
found love, ... Wrote... 'Ahem' questionable stories and comforted one another in times of crisis

We are the goddamn GWC
and regardless of what Fed Flag you wave proudly
We're god damn amazing
(except Angel, ******** that guy)

That being said, and ultimately I want to say this
There are some choices that people aren't going to agree with
There are some RPers that you may not want to face
There are some stories/matches/characters you may not like

... And that's okay

But let's not be a ******** d**k about it


I can not control what others are going to say, but me personally?
I've asked others to hold me accountable if I've ******** up. I want them to tell me
Y'all gave me far, far, far too many chances I've deserved...
and I can't reward your faith in me the way you deserve, 'but'
I can try.