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 Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2023 6:08 pm
“I never thought to look behind the tapestry,” Sessrumnir admitted as he carefully pushed the fabric aside, revealing the narrow alcove similar to what had been installed in Alastor’s room on his world. “It always felt like I was disturbing a--”
He paused and shook his head. Percy might have passed away a thousand years ago, but the grief still weighed on Alastor, and Sessrumnir didn’t want to remind him of bad things. Especially when Sessrumnir was grieving, himself.
Instead of saying anything else, he secured the tapestry to the hook that he only now noticed, and took a step closer to the portal. Similar to at Alastor, he opened up the main platform to peer underneath. The gears seemed like they were in place, but the lights weren’t glowing as they were on Alastor.
“This must be completely off. I’ll have to figure out how it draws its power,” he sighed and turned to look up at Alastor. “Any idea where Percy would have hidden blueprints of things? I’m okay, you can just carry me later,” he promised, half teasingly, before Alastor could comment about how he’d requested a pillow before.
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Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2023 6:27 pm
Sessrumnir didn’t have to finish the sentence for Alastor to know what he was going to say. This world was different now from what his heart remembered; the halls were empty and dust had settled in layers.
It felt like disturbing a tomb.
Sessrumnir was never supposed to be like this, though. Alastor didn’t want anyone’s first thoughts to be that this was world was dead. It deserved to be cleaned, it deserved to be fixed up. It deserved to be loved.
There was too much to see in any one trip, too much to do.
A little at a time was going to have to be good enough, but Alastor’s list of things he wanted to fix up seemed to grow by the moment.
The weight of grief and loss was heavy in his heart, less so when Michael was around to lift his spirits. He smiled politely at the half finished sentence, but even that faded somewhat when he realized there wasn’t an easy answer to connect their worlds again. It wasn’t that it was particularly hard to swallow, it was just another thing to add to the list.
“Quite a number of ideas, I know all of his hiding spots.” He extended a hand, because if he wasn’t going to carry Michael now, he could at least help him up. “I’d bet what we’re looking for is probably near his work station. There are a few hidden doors, just for extra security. Perce showed me all of them. I think.”
It wasn’t like they had secrets between the two of them, not for things like that. “And if any of them are still locked, I’ve got the keys.” That, at least, he was certain to be true. There was no part of Alastor that Percy wasn’t welcome to, and no part of Sessrumnir barred to him. So far as he knew, at least; if things had changed over the years while he’d been away he didn’t know what else might be unknown to him or sealed away.
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Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2023 6:49 pm
He took the hand that was offered to him, reaching out to place his hand on the wall for support as well. A faint ripple of soft green light radiated out from where Sessrumnir had touched the wall, but he hadn’t noticed. It was just one of those things that he just became used to enough to ignore, or wasn’t paying attention because he was too focused on Alastor.
“I’m glad I didn’t try breaking down any doors, then,” Sessrumnir grimaced, leaving the tapestry pulled back for easy access.
On the bed, kicking his heels against the edge and hands planted on the edge, Percy beamed at where Devyn was standing. It wasn’t surprising, but every sudden memory had Michael pausing. There seemed to be nothing really significant about this memory, except for the reminder that Devyn would have been in that room as frequently as his own. He would have stood in every spot, would have known everything about it.
The memory faded when the Devyn of the past approached the bed to shower Percy with kisses, who squealed with delight and kissed him back in return.
“I keep seeing more memories… or whatever they are. Every time I come here. Or go anywhere Percy frequented. I ignored them for so long. Turned away when they appeared. It felt like I was prying. I didn’t think that maybe Percy wanted me to see,” he admitted, wanting to let Devyn know why he’d frozen in place for a few moments.
He turned to Devyn then and gave his hand a squeeze. He felt remorseful for him. A strange guilt about being born. Maybe he was only there because Percy died when he did. But that didn’t mean he didn’t wish Percy and Devyn could have lived long, happy lives together. Rather than being cut so short.
It wasn’t lost on him that he was nearly a decade older than Percy ever got to be.
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 12:17 am
Alsator’s eyes had flicked to the light on the wall, not because it surprised him but because he was glad to see it. The attention was fleeting and he was focused on Sessrumnir again after a second. It was easy to be concerned about Michael; each pause could have meant something was wrong.
Devyn didn’t get memories, not of who he was before. Not anymore. He’d never liked them. He didn’t want to be associated with that man, and he didn’t think he’d be better for remembering anything from him. He’d spent his life trying to be different from the other Senshi of his world, anyway. There wasn’t much to learn from him.
But, he remembered what it was like. To be confused and uncertain, standing in someone else’s shoes. To hear words come from their mouth–your mouth. To move as they moved. Or to be floating helplessly nearby, watching as a timeless specter.
There was no consistency to the memories, except the emotions that washed over him had never been pleasant, and they always lingered for too long afterwards.
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t break down any doors. I suppose I should give those keys over to you. I’ve got them safe and tucked away, but they’re not out of reach.” He had many things stored in subspace. He didn’t think Michael would ask them of him, but Devyn offered all the same. He returned the squeeze and pulled Michael’s hand close to his lips so he could kiss the back lightly.
“I don’t know how those memories work. But I think, if Percy could, he’d have given you every memory he had if he thought it would help. He only ever wanted the best for everyone. I think he’d want more than that for you.”
Devyn never liked to think that Percy was gone, but he understood that on most levels. Physically, he was gone. Michael wouldn’t be here if the circumstances were any different.
And yet, Percy was still here. In his memories, and in Michael’s. The walls of Sessrumnir must have remembered him, too. Percy lingered in his notes, in his artwork, in the memories left behind. Devyn didn’t know how the Cauldron worked, but he liked to think there was some sense of autonomy there. If Percy didn’t want the memories shared, maybe the Cauldron could have washed them away. Maybe a part of Percy resonated in his starseed still.
He squeezed Sessrumnir’s hand as he lowered it again.
“I’m sorry if it’s strange. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. But if you’re seeing them, don’t think you’re unwelcome. And.” He paused for a second, sifting through his thoughts and searching for the words to best vocalize them. “If you ever want to talk about anything you see–or anything at all, I’ll be here. I don’t know how involved you want to be with…Well, I suppose the life I used to live. I’ll tell you any story you want to hear, though. I’ll keep no secrets from you. But I don’t want you to feel pressured to dig around in the past, either. And no matter what you see, I want you to remember that I love you, for you. Now and forever. And I’m happy with you. And I want to make the best of our time together. Promise me that? Or, at least, promise me that you’ll come find me if you need me to remind you. I’ll always be happy to.”
He didn’t know what Michael would see, but it seemed unfair to force him to see something he didn’t want to, and he knew how Michael’s mind could be cruel to him. He didn’t want Michael to compare himself to Percy, or to think he wasn’t deserving of Devyn’s time or love.
He didn’t want him to think he was a replacement, either.
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 6:12 am
Love and loss, from death or just growing distant, was difficult for most people. Or at least that was all Michael could assume. He’d lost from both, at different points in his life. Both times it was like a piece of his heart was broken, shattered. Impossible to repair.
He knew a part of that was his own fault. He’d always been stubborn, but because of that he tended to suffer in silence. He was used to people looking at him and expecting him to be strong, expecting him to know what he wanted in his life. He had money, he could just buy whatever he wanted. He could pay for the best treatment if he wanted, and yet something kept him from doing so.
Another part of him felt guilty for burdening his friends and family with his problems. It wasn’t fair to Devyn, who gave him everything. Who was kind and patient and loved him. Michael didn’t question that. Michael knew he loved him, even if his mind liked to supply him with situations in which Devyn would realize that he jumped too quickly into a relationship with him. Or maybe Michael’s problems would be too frustrating. Or he’d push his luck too much.
Yet here Devyn was, reminding him again that he loved him, that he was happy with him. It was almost as though Devyn could read his mind. It wasn’t the first time Michael wondered if he could.
“I want to know everything about you, Devyn. Everything you’re willing to share. Sometimes I won’t know what to ask, but I will never turn down a story from you. I’m not uncomfortable. I think Percy was trying to make me jealous, if I’m being honest,” he frowned, but it was obviously forced and he squeezed Devyn’s hand to make sure he knew Michael didn’t want him to pull away.
“The way he looked at you… I mean, it’s just obvious how much he loved you. It wasn’t much of a memory. Percy sitting on the bed. It ended with the two of you making out. Probably for the best,” he said in a way that was obviously teasing.
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 7:31 am
For a moment, Devyn almost looked like he wanted to laugh. Maybe Percy would have wanted to make Michael jealous. A little weight tugged at his heartstrings again–that nagging worry, that guilt, that if Percy were here he would be jealous.
But, Percy wasn’t here. Not in any way that could change things.
In memories.
“Oh,” he said shortly, but the smile never wavered. “Yes, that might be for the best. I should apologize in advance, you might see quite a few of those. And I’m sorry if you see anything that comes after it. I’ll make it up to you,” he promised.
He knew Percy loved him. Percy knew Devyn loved him.
These were just facts.
“I’ll have no secrets from you. I’ll tell you every story that pops into my head, until you’re tired of them. But I want to know everything about you, too. Everything you’re willing to share.”
He’d love him with or without secrets. They weren’t a burden Michael had to carry alone, but Devyn wouldn’t force anything out of him.
He was perfect the way he was.
“We’ll have to leave plenty of good memories for our next lives, too. I don’t want to make the next Senshi of Alastor jealous. I don’t know what things will be like for him. Me. But I want him to know what it’s like to be happy, and to know what it’s like to be loved. Although, I’ve already committed to loving you in every life, so I suppose that won’t be too hard. I’ll just have to find you.”
If he hadn’t made the promise to Percy, he’d have still loved Michael, he thought. The starseed wasn’t what made him special, it was him. And, tucked inside his memories, it was Percy, too. And it was whoever Percy was before that, and before that.
One day, Michael would be a memory. One day, Devyn would.
But whoever they were next, Devyn was committed to making it easier for them.
“Will it bother you if I say things like that? I don’t want to force it on you. I don’t mean to stake claim on you in every life, that’s not what I want. I just love deeply, that’s all. And I want to experience everything with you. Things that we couldn’t do in a single lifetime. I want to experience every walk of life, and I want to fall in love with you a thousand different times.” Without a thousand different partings. “I can’t imagine any life without you. I don’t want to, either. I hope you’ll let me try to win you over the next time we meet. And every time after that.”
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 8:25 am
“Oh…? What are you sorry for? What comes after those memories?” he teased, reaching up with his free hand to tuck some hair behind Devyn’s ear. “Didn’t you just say we should be leaving plenty of good memories for our next lives?”
Would it bother him if Devyn said things about how he was committed to loving him in every life? After a few moments, Michael shook his head.
“No, or at least the romantic in me isn’t bothered. I don’t feel like it’s forced. I would like to meet you again in another life,” he admitted, even though he could only imagine how difficult it would be for Devyn to actually find him.
But… he did once, already. So that had to count for something, right?
“I don’t want to keep secrets from you. But just like I won’t know what questions to ask you, I sometimes won’t know what you might want to hear. A lot of my thoughts I’ve buried so deeply that I have to force myself to think about them. I, um… sometimes they give me anxiety attacks. Almost did with Mary’s magic. Did a while back when Peter found some stuff in the house and asked me about it,” he explained, because he at least wanted Devyn to know what he was getting into.
While trying to ignore the voice in the back of his mind that Devyn might think this was too much to want to deal with. He knew it wasn’t true. He knew Devyn would be there for him, even if Michael didn’t think he deserved that compassion.
“I would have talked to him about things. I just… I don’t know, I ran. I’m not proud,” he sighed. Having a discussion about his traumas in life wasn’t why they’d gone to Sessrumnir. He knew he was wasting valuable time in trying to locate a blueprint or whatever Percy had been working on before. Or maybe those thoughts were just giving him a way to escape a conversation he’d started.
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 9:22 am
Devyn could have forgotten about the blueprints and saved them for any other day. A week from now wouldn’t make any difference in the grand scheme of things. He trusted that Michael would be honest with him, he’d never had any doubt of that. His curiosity was of far less importance than Michael’s comfort and well-being.
He might ask but he wouldn’t pry.
“I don’t want you to have to think about anything that affects you like that. If it’s best buried, keep it buried. Don’t dig anything up for me. If it rears itself, though. I’m here. We can talk about it then. Or not talk about it. If you need a distraction, I can talk enough for the both of us. And if you need to run, I’ll run with you.”
He didn’t know how complicated it might have been for Michael, but it didn’t intimidate him. He knew that there was a life before him, a life he sometimes felt he’d only scraped the surface of knowing.
But, that was okay. He had bits and pieces, and if something went wrong he wasn’t going to be chased away.
Michael had a habit of seeming like he was about to squirm when the attention was focused too much on him, or things that were personal or uncomfortable; if he wanted an opening to change the subject, Devyn wouldn’t fight it. He held his hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb, and began to slowly walk. They could have gone towards Percy’s workstation to sift around, or they could have just kept walking–maybe found a tree to lay under and just talk.
He didn’t mind. He had no expectations of Michael. He had no standard to demand from him. He wasn’t afraid of anxiety, or scars, or old wounds, or the ghosts of the past.
He only wanted Michael, and he wanted him to have everything he could give to support him.
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 10:12 am
Michael was quiet as he listened to Devyn, a small, sad smile tugging at his lips. The distraction of walking was nice. It was enough to let his heart settle a little. He knew he was just working himself up, but Devyn seemed to be able to see through that and talk him down more effectively than anyone.
Devyn offering to run with him pulled at his heart maybe a bit more than he expected it to. He knew Devyn loved him, there was no question there. But it was another thing to sit with him and suffer through the shadows that couldn’t be fought by anyone but Michael.
He didn’t know where he wanted to go, but as they approached Percy’s workstation, Michael paused, distracted by the sound of a book falling to the floor. He kept hold of Devyn’s hand as he frowned at it, and leaned over to pick it up--
But another, smaller hand did it instead.
The memories were starting to become clear enough that Michael could have sworn the book was in his reality. Devyn would have seen him reach for nothing.
“He looks exhausted,” Michael said quietly as he straightened back up. He didn’t want to speak too loudly and shake the memory, but he wanted Devyn to know what he was seeing. It was such a stark contrast to the scene he only just saw but… Percy was sitting at the workstation, wearing the same outfit, his hair a bit more disheveled, and he’d obviously been crying. And more than exhausted, he looked miserable, but Michael didn’t want to mention that to Devyn. It was very clearly a continuation from the playful moment between him and Devyn, only it seemed as though Devyn had left at some point.
“Something must have happened,” he guessed, because why else would Percy be so upset? “He’s working on something… I think it might have been what you mentioned before. They’re like coins… There’s a design he has on paper with your flower and some leaves around it.”
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 10:24 am
Devyn almost thought nothing of Michael reaching for something on the ground; it could have been anything. Something shiny on the ground, some unseen damage to the floor.
Another memory.
His eyes darted from the empty space to Michae’s face and then nodded knowingly. Apologetically.
It could have been any point in time. He didn’t know what ‘must have happened’ but he knew the list was so incredibly long. Too many times he had to leave Percy’s side to go deal with something. Someone.
“That sounds like them,” Devyn confirmed. “...Maybe that means we’re getting close.”
Maybe the memories were manifesting because Michael was trying to help. Or, maybe the part of his starseed that still held a shadow of Percy was trying to help.
Maybe both. Devyn didn’t really know how it worked, but he was grateful all the same.
He looked distracted for a moment, but it became obvious that he must have been fishing around in his subspace pocket because he uncurled his hands to reveal a key ring. There were well over two dozen, each different from another. Some were plain, some were unnecessarily ornate. He selected one. “The door over here, this should unlock it. I think it’s a good place to start. Did he look upset? …I wonder if he was worried about me. I know he wanted to make sure I was safe. He couldn’t always come with me when I was dealing with issues. But I know he wanted to make sure I had a way home. If I got hurt, I could just come see him. Much better than trying to travel while you were falling apart. I gave him a good share of scares, I’m afraid.”
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 10:35 am
“He was angry about something,” Michael said before he could even think about why he thought Percy was angry. He didn’t look angry. But the feelings seemed to manifest as he watched the place where the memory had just been.
“But worried, too. He felt desperate. Helpless. And determined to do something, even if he didn’t know what good it would do.”
At some point, Michael had reached up to grab hold of the orb at his chest. It was a habit now for him to remove it and then replace it every time he powered up or down. A safety net for when things got too overwhelming. It wasn’t even so he could spy on what Devyn was feeling, although it was nice to have that too, but as it had before he knew it belonged to Devyn, the gentle pulse helped keep him grounded.
He didn’t ask to keep the keys. He knew they were safe with Devyn, and he appreciated that Devyn kept them all this time. Michael took them when Devyn handed it to him, but had every intention of giving them back. It wasn’t as though they wouldn’t be there together often.
“I’d like to make sure you had a way to get home if you were hurt,” he said with a frown as he made his way over to the door Devyn indicated and worked the key into the lock. “The Negaverse has done some horrible things. Kidnap. Torture. Not that some of our side are any better. Sometimes it’s necessary,” he admitted, because while he didn’t like the idea of killing, he’d done it before and would do it again, especially if it meant protecting those he cared about.
The door took a little shake to open, but inside were shelves of objects and boxes with more objects, and books, and loose papers. He riffled through a little bit of it, before he turned to hand the keys back to Devyn and made room for him to look as well. It was just a cabinet, but it was deep and there was plenty shoved inside.
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 3:40 pm
Devyn traded the keys for a smile and accepted them appreciatively. His thumb brushed over the familiar shape of the key before disappearing back into subspace. He didn’t pretend not to be interested in what relics were tucked away, but he leaned against the wall and let Michael see first. The space might have been cramped if it had been the both of them going in at the same time, but he didn’t mind Michael exploring first. He didn’t want to box him in or make him feel cramped, so when he peered in he made sure there was enough space for Michael to have an exit if he needed.
“If Perce was angry about something, I suspect someone must have been starting something on Alastor. There were a good few years there where it was…” He could have said any number of things, could have given any number of details. Michael probably already knew, though. It would have been a mouthful to give him the full story. “Difficult.”
“He would have been right to worry, for all I put him through. I had to leave so often. It took a lot of work to get things to calm down after the whole Villefort debacle. I was so sure the stress of that had shaved years off my life.”
He laughed once, dryly, and shook his head. “He tried so hard. Did so much. Brought so much good into the world. I hope he knew how much I appreciated him.” He hoped for a lot of things.
“I can’t say that I’ve always been a perfect role model. I’ve done things I’m ashamed of. Necessary things, but I’m not proud of them. If I ever got in bad with the Negaverse, I’d give it my best. I’m not afraid to hurt someone.” He wasn’t afraid to kill them, either. He knew what sort of monster he could become. He knew what had happened to the other Senshi of his world. But, he’d had Percy.
He had Michael.
He wasn’t worried about whatever darkness lurked in his starseed as long as Michael was there. And Atticus, too. He had to do right by them.
“I’d like a way to get home if I was hurt, though. I don’t want to put you or Atticus through any trouble. You’re both too important. I want to make sure you’ve got a way to get home if you get hurt, too. If I’m not there to carry you back, myself.”
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 5:50 pm
As comfortable as Michael was with Devyn, he appreciated that Devyn didn’t crowd him. Not when he was in a new place and still getting used to everything. He trusted Devyn with everything, but he didn’t trust himself not to get overwhelmed, especially in small areas.
“He knew,” Michael said with confidence, and then turned so he could reach out and take hold of Devyn’s hand. Just briefly. Just long enough so he could pull him closer to give him a quick kiss before letting him go again.
More than the anger and worry, Michael could feel how much Percy loved Devyn. It was kind of overwhelming, because while Michael felt as though he loved Devyn as much, this was not something he could even imagine making into a competition. Because it wasn’t. Devyn deserved to be loved, and Michael hoped he knew how much people cared about him.
“That’s why he tried so hard, because he knew how much you and others appreciated what he did. He didn’t want to let anyone down. You were the most important person to him, and you’re important to me and Atticus. As long as you stay safe and make your way back home to us, you can carry me all you want,” he promised, still moving some of the items around.
He paused when he picked up a small wooden box. There was a strange energy that came from it. He glanced over at Devyn to see if he had any objections before opening the box.
Inside was a bracelet. It was gold and decorated with oak leaves.
“Pretty,” he observed, picking it up to inspect it. It wasn’t what they were looking for, but there was something special about it that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 6:07 pm
A warmth filled Devyn while Michael spoke of Percy. He couldn’t help it; he didn’t know many people who could speak of Percy, but Michael did so with such certainty, it was as if he knew him.
Well, through his memories, he must have. He could know him in a way that no one else ever would.
The brief touch, the kiss, the kind words–again, all appreciated. Devyn had smiled again, and the necklace glowed brightly from the affection and the reassurance. And, the offer to carry Michael all he wanted.
He watched as the Knight sifted through the items, and while his gaze wandered sometimes, he often focused on Michael, or what he was holding.
When Michael found the bracelet, Devyn tilted his head as he leaned against the door frame. He had a good view of the box, and the bracelet inside. “Do you like it? You should try it on. It won’t do anyone any favors collecting dust in here.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and nodded encouragingly.
It wasn’t what they’d come here for, but Michael had rightful claim to all the artifacts tucked around Sessrumnir and if he liked any of them, they deserved a second chance at life. Besides, it was a gorgeous piece. Michael would look wonderful in it, and Devyn couldn’t help but like the idea of him draped in jewelry.
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 6:13 pm
Michael couldn’t say he was usually one for jewelry (other than his necklace, of course), but there was a certain energy to the piece that he was having a difficult time ignoring. They needed every bit of help they could get to fight the Negaverse and help clear Chaos from other worlds as well.
After a moment, he set the box down and placed the bracelet around his wrist, over the bracer he was already wearing, his thumb smoothing over the oak leaves that were clearly significant to Sessrumnir. It didn’t feel uncomfortable, nor did it look out of place.
He held out his arm for Devyn to inspect if he wanted, but also went back to shuffling a few things around. While he didn’t know exactly what he was looking for, he could feel the energy coming from various objects, like the bracelet.
“He wishes he had time to clean up in here, but he felt like he was always busy, or had more important things to do,” Michael shared and then paused with a frown. He was speaking for Percy again, as if he knew what he was feeling.
In a way he did. He could feel the emotions that went into placing each page or book or object in that room. Not so much that it was as overwhelming as before, but there was a lingering embarrassment for the mess, should anyone else happen upon Percy’s apparent inability to keep things organized.
“I was like this, when I was younger,” he shared with a small shrug. Maybe if he talked about himself, it would lessen the feelings that lingered from the past. “We moved around a lot. I said back then that I didn’t like cleaning up because there was no point, we could just put everything in boxes. I tried. Either everything was like this, or I just left everything in boxes. I think I just had too many thoughts going on at once to really focus on tidying up. I’d pick up a book to put away, but then I’d want to read a little to remind myself what it was about. Then I’d end up in a pile of books with nothing put away.”
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