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 Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 11:03 am
The orb around Sessrumnir’s neck was still.
There was no pulse.
Alastor wasn’t breathing.
After the explosion of light from the source of Chaos being destroyed, large parts of the cave started to crumble. Sessrumnir managed to get through a new opening that had been created, and pulled Alastor out of the way of the ceiling crashing down on everything. Water poured over them as Sessrumnir held onto Alastor as they plummeted into the water below.
There’d been no time to even think, just to hold onto Alastor and hope they were lucky enough that the ceiling didn’t collapse on them as rocks came tumbling down. The current was strong, and Sessrumnir used every last bit of his strength to keep them above the rapids as they were washed from the caves.
He was fairly certain that they would have been lost in the caverns below the planet’s surface, had the storm and trembling from earlier hadn’t broken open a wall, letting the water gush out and down the steep hill and into the raging river below.
The whole time he knew Devyn’s heart had stopped -- or it was incredibly weak. Because he couldn’t feel anything from the orb.
His heart felt like it was breaking. He was trying desperately not to panic. But there were times that the heavy river water pulled them both under. He tried covering Alastor’s mouth and nose, not wanting him to unknowingly breathe in any water, while trying to hold his breath himself.
He didn’t know where they ended up when the river finally took a sharp turn, and he was able to grab onto one of the boulders that lined the shore. He heaved Alastor up onto the rocks with him, but dragged him only far enough away from the water to find a flat enough surface to check his vital signs.
Alastor had looked better. Most notably was the injured hands, the bruises around his neck -- but Sessrumnir couldn’t immediately find any critical wounds right away. He just knew that Alastor wasn’t breathing.
Sessrumnir’s hands were shaking as he started chest compressions. His eyes were wet -- whether from the river or tears he didn’t care because it was annoying.
“Devyn,” he tried calling, as if that would help. It didn’t.
He tilted Alastor’s chin up so he could continue administering CPR, pressing his mouth over Alastor’s to breathe into him, before going back to chest compressions, and repeating the process with increasing distress.
“Wake up, please,” he begged.
This couldn’t be happening. They’d won. Alastor defeated the Chaos. So why…? Had he been right? Was the destroying of Chaos just too much for his thousand year old starseed to continue holding on after his world no longer had immediate need for him?
Sessrumnir hissed curses under his breath, and leaned down to press his mouth to Alastor’s once more.
It was happening again. Losing someone and being unable to do anything about it. His heart was breaking, he couldn’t think, couldn’t see anything around them except for Alastor and focusing on trying to get him to breathe again.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 11:07 am
The dream was nice. Warm. Comfortable. Safe. He could still feel Percy’s lips on his own.
Alastor awoke with pain. A lot of pain. Ice in his blood and fire in his lungs.
He could feel Michael’s lips.
And then he remembered how to breathe.
Alastor’s hands curled into fists and he had to turn to the side as he coughed up water and blood. He curled into himself a little bit, not because he wanted to but because his muscles were so tense that he couldn’t control it. He sucked in one great breath, and another. His vision was swimming but the pieces were falling back into place.
The water was rushing but it wasn’t storming. He saw light, but he didn’t know where they were. He squinted as he tried to make sense of it all, but they were out of the cave. It wasn’t as dark as he remembered.
Michael was there.
He coughed again and rolled back to face him. He was exhausted; his eyes burned as much as his lungs.
When he spoke, his voice was raspy and dry, and there were a thousand things he wanted to say but all that came out was a confused, “Was that a kiss?”
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 12:13 pm
The moment Alastor woke up and started coughing, Sessrumnir felt an incredible rush of relief. He immediately rubbed at Alastor’s back, and a hand was placed on Alastor’s arm to keep him from rolling into the river by accident.
He sucked in a shaky breath, having realized he’d forgotten to breathe for a while as well, and --
“Kiss?” he croaked, voice broken from the stress and emotion of everything. “What-- no. You weren’t breathing. I was giving you CPR--”
Sessrumnir gaped wordlessly then, not sure what else to say. He wanted to pull Alastor into his arms and fuss over him, but he also knew that it was important for Alastor to be able to move if he needed to. If he needed to move to breathe easier, or just have some space after being in that dark cave.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 12:23 pm
“Oh.”
He didn’t speak for a moment and instead took great gulps of air. Occasionally, he took too much and coughed on it, but after a few seconds he seemed to have gotten the hang of it again.
He laid back against the ground and for the first time in a long time he realized that he couldn’t feel the Chaos.
A weight had been lifted off of his chest–more than one, even if he was still trying to sort through it.
He tipped his head back and breathed. It wasn’t quite fresh air–it was thick and damp and muddy.
But, there was no Chaos. They weren’t in the cave. The water wasn’t rising
“Well, a kiss would have been nice too. CPR–what for? Are you okay? I don’t remember what happened.”
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 1:24 pm
Sessrumnir sputtered in disbelief, staring at Alastor like he didn’t know what to do with him, but he was breathing and alive. And Sessrumnir slumped back a little so he could get off his knees and sit more comfortably on the very uncomfortable, rocky, wet ground.
“You were literally not breathing-- Am I okay??” he let out an incredulous breath. Comparatively, he was fine. The gash across his forehead had stopped bleeding, but his face was still somewhat stained with red. He had cuts and bruises all up and down his arms where he’d desperately tried to climb out of the river -- oh, and when they’d been pushed out of the cave and slid down that hill. And before that when the rocks all came down on them.
“Don’t think I didn’t see you coughing up blood, Devyn,” he pointed to the very spot on the rocks where Alastor had expelled the water and blood from his lungs, clearly assuming that the comment about kissing was to distract him from the real issue -- which was Devyn’s health, and everyone back at the Hall. He knew he should probably keep himself from getting worked up, but Sessrumnir was still high on adrenaline and thinking that Devyn might have died--
“Unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath, and then finally allowed himself a moment to rest and breathe by laying back onto the rocks. “I thought--...”
He thought he was going to have to somehow catch Devyn’s starseed before it went off to the Cauldron.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 1:45 pm
Alastor rolled his head to the side and looked at where he’d been coughing up water. Undeniably, there was more red in it than he liked to see, but he didn’t really even seem bothered by it. His eyes were half lidded; his adrenaline was gone and now he was just drained.
“Oh, that. Don’t worry about that, I think I bit my tongue.” His mouth tasted a little coppery now but he was too tired to try and rinse it out, even if the water was tempting. The rushing river probably wasn’t safe for him to get close to right now, not when he already had bad luck with them.
He squinted a bit and tried to figure out just where they were. None of this was familiar, and looking around was only making him dizzy.
“I didn’t mean to make you worry, I’m sorry. I’m going to close my eyes for a minute, but I’m not dead. I just need to catch my breath. Here,” he stretched out his hand and blindly searched for Sessrumnir’s hand; when he caught it, he laced fingers with him.
“Are you sure I wasn’t breathing? I think I just fell asleep for a minute.”
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 2:27 pm
“I’m sure you weren’t breathing!” Sessrumnir snapped, and then immediately deflated and squeezed Alastor’s hand tightly. “Sorry,” he mumbled, his other hand reaching for the orb around his neck to hold onto as well.
“Don’t tell me not to worry about you. I can’t--”
Sessrumnir forced himself to let out another breath as he closed his eyes as well, squeezing them shut against the feel of how quickly his own heart was beating compared to how still both the orb and Devyn were, less than a few minutes ago.
“You destroyed the Chaos… whatever it was… but then the cave became unstable and everything started falling apart and I barely grabbed you out of the way in time and we were thrown into the water, then the river and now we’re here, and the whole time the necklace was completely--”
He needed to stop getting worked up. He knew it wasn’t helping the situation. He knew he needed to calm down and let his heart still. He needed to stop his eyes from leaking tears, which he tried by squeezing them shut harder.
“I’m just tired,” he decided was probably a good enough excuse.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 2:37 pm
Alastor wasn’t ruffled or offended by the sternness in Sessrumnir’s voice; he cracked an eye so he could make sure he was okay–and, maybe to deny himself the chance to actually fall asleep again.
“It’s okay, Michael,” he said, and mustered his strength and willpower together so he could rub the back of his hand. “I’m sorry for scaring you. Thank you for looking after me. You are the second person who had to drag me out of that cave. I don’t think I’ll ever go back. Or maybe should. Might help to have a map.”
He was tired, too. He couldn’t blame Michael for that.
Not tired enough to convince himself not to use what strength he had to push himself a little closer to Sessrumnir.
“We should head back to the Hall soon and make sure everyone’s all right.” The clouds looked a little patchy, a little brighter, like the storm was starting to break up. He couldn’t see much through the thick layer of foliage above them, but it was enough to give him hope.
He rolled his head to the side just slightly, and squeezed Sessrumnir’s hand again. “I had this dream. While I was asleep.” Well, not breathing, but. “Kept thinking about you and the boys. It was nice enough that I could have stayed there, but I made a promise. And I missed you. And Percy told me it was okay that I loved you too, so I had to come back so I could tell you.”
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 3:18 pm
He had been scared. He still was scared. There were still a lot of unknowns. He didn’t know how the boys were doing, or how his family was doing. What had they faced while he and Alastor were off in the forest and cave and nearly drowning?
It took a few moments for what Alastor said to really fall into place in his head. And in his heart.
He sat up then, somewhat startled, like he didn’t know what he was hearing, or not sure if he was misunderstanding, or if he was making something up in his head.
There were a million things he wanted to say, but his voice didn’t want to work. His throat was too tight. And he didn’t -- Did Devyn even know what he was saying?
Sessrumnir hadn’t taken his hand away from Alastor’s, but he looked like he was ready to get up and start pacing or something ridiculous. His eyes were still wet, and the thoughts in his head wouldn’t slow down.
“I’m glad you didn’t stay there,” was probably the stupidest thing he could have said in response when there was so much else he could say. His voice was uneven, so he cleared his throat, but was still unable to look at Alastor.
It was probably just a misunderstanding. Devyn was telling him what his dream told him, not that… not that he felt that way…
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 4:43 pm
Alastor squinted at him with his one open eye, and then when that wasn’t enough, he opened the other just so he could squint at him with both of them.
His muscles all felt like they were on fire, and he was too tired to cover his mouth when he coughed again. But, it was only so he could save his energy and push himself into an upright position. The world was still spinning, but it let him be a little closer to Michael, and he took full advantage of it. He rested, shoulder to shoulder, against him.
He hurt, but they were going to have to get back to the Hall soon. The GPS was gone, but if they followed the river they could probably find their way out. Or, maybe Princess could point them in the right direction.
He wasn’t looking forward to walking, but he was looking forward to–
A thousand thoughts tumbled down all at once.
Seeing his world, seeing the Hall, making sure everyone was okay, finding survivors, repairing the Hall, fixing the dams, determining the damage–
For so long, his goal had been defeat the Chaos, and now it felt like it was gone. Really gone. He couldn’t feel a trace of it.
The borrowed light of his Core had faded, and he was worried about it–especially if the necklace had stopped swirling. He wanted to check on that, too. Wanted to thank it. Wanted to thank everyone.
“Well, we can’t stay here.”
The water didn’t look like it was rising, but there was mud and water and rocks everywhere, and he doubted the underbrush was going to hold it all together.
The forest felt–
Old. Wet. Free.
“I doubt they’ll be able to keep the boys from coming to look for us for too long. This forest is easy to get lost in.”
With a groan, he pushed himself up to his feet. His knees were going to protest. His ankle was going to protest. He could stand, though; the scrapes and bruises weren’t enough to stop him. His hand might need a little help, but he was a fast healer. If he was lucky–and, he was feeling pretty good about everything–maybe it would heal by the time they got back to the Hall.
His right hand was in better condition, so he offered it to Sessrumnir and waited to help him up.
He’d like a soak in the Springs after this, or maybe he’d just sleep for a day or two. He didn’t want to save Alastor and then just leave, though. He’d figure it out later, they still had to get back, first. There was plenty of time to make a plan.
“I owe you a lot, Michael. I couldn't have done this without you. I don’t know how I’m ever going to be able to repay you.” He knew that Michael’s assistance didn’t come with a price, but he still felt an immense, unending gratitude towards him.
Even if he was avoiding Alastor’s confession. Maybe Michael was letting him down easy. Or, maybe it hadn’t been clear enough. But, then again, he’d only ever tried once before, and that had sort of been a bit of a disaster too. It ended well, but it was a journey all the same.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 5:06 pm
Sessrumnir kept his eyes down when Alastor sat up to lean against him, but when he moved to stand, Sessrumnir looked like he might have been ready to scold him for moving too quickly. He didn’t. Because Alastor was right that they needed to head back.
Carefully, he took Alastor’s hand, but made sure he didn’t put too much of his weight on him when he stood. He kept hold of his hand as he carefully led him away from the water, although not too far.
“That’s what I told Percy,” Sessrumnir said after a long few moments of silence, which could have been blamed on trying to not trip over anything. And trying to make sure Alastor didn’t trip over anything.
He felt sore. Tired. His heart was still racing, but he was starting to feel the wear on his body from everything that happened.
“Well… not Percy,” he corrected, and then shifted uncomfortably as he started leading the way downstream. “It tried pretending it was you, at first. That you’d been injured badly. It almost convinced me to give up on the path you went through, and to turn around to find another path. If you hadn’t powered down, I don’t think I would have realized it until it was too late.”
He’d been very worried, and even though the figure hadn’t been acting exactly like Alastor, he just assumed it was due to panic and injury. The pressure of everything coming down on him.
“It tried Percy next. Said some… things… tried getting me to give up and save myself,” Sessrumnir explained, keeping his eyes on the path in front of him. He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. “I told it no, because I loved you.”
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 5:19 pm
Alastor’s face had settled into an unimpressed scowl when Sessrumnir said the Chaos had impersonated him, and then when it had impersonated Percy, and–
The necklace flared up in his anger, and Alastor didn’t have the energy to hide it–or the energy to maintain such passionate anger. It simmered down quickly, but probably only because it took that long to process what Sessrumnir had actually said.
He hadn’t tripped over anything on the ground, but he certainly tripped up over that. He felt his ears get hot, and even if it was what he wanted to hear, he still got flustered in a way he hadn’t since he was–
Well, since he was young.
“Oh,” he said, rather unimpressively. He took a few more steps, mindful of his footing. He replayed the words in his head, thought about what they meant, what they could mean. Thought about all the ways he might be hearing him wrong.
Thought about all the ways he might be hearing him right.
“Is that something I might hope to hear you tell me, too?”
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 5:27 pm
He didn’t understand why he was so anxious. He’d felt the necklace flare with anger when he mentioned the Chaos impersonating Percy, and then it felt… he wasn’t sure. Not upset, but Sessrumnir couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he’d been the one to misunderstand before.
“I don’t know,” he mumbled with anxious frustration. He could feel his face flush and he cursed himself because it wasn’t like he was a hormonal teenager. “Is it?”
This was stupid. He didn’t know what Devyn wanted from him. To get down on his knees and confess? Maybe to have some poetry prepared? He hadn’t thought that far. He hadn’t thought he would be telling Devyn now, but he’d said that in his dream, Percy told him it was okay that he loved him, too.
“I love you too, Devyn,” he said before he could convince himself otherwise. He was taking a leap. If he had misunderstood. If he wasn’t right. Maybe Devyn would just correct him and not give him too hard of a time about it.
But he still couldn’t look him in the eye. He just scowled at the ground, as if that would hide how flustered he was.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 5:33 pm
Alastor held his breath for a moment and then exhaled sharply. “You made my heart stop for a second there. I thought you might have to give me CPR again.”
He could breathe.
His heart was beating quickly but it was no longer uncertain or worried. It was excited.
He had plenty to be happy about–he had his world again!
His heart was beating again.
And, it was okay.
Now, in the tired aftermath of adrenaline and anxiety, he was too worn out to worry. He’d spent years doing that, anyway. Things that didn’t make sense before made sense now, and he wasn’t going to go backwards any longer.
Percy was always going to be in his heart. Always. But Michael had never tried to push him aside. Just like Devyn would never try to push aside those who had occupied Michael’s heart before him. But, Michael had earned a place. Not one that Percy had occupied, but a new space.
A room in his heart that hadn’t existed before he met Michael.
Loving him took nothing away from the love he felt for Percy.
“I thought you were trying to let me down easy a moment ago. I wasn’t going to press the matter, but I think I was going to love you even if you didn’t love me back. Even if we never said anything, either. I really can’t imagine living the rest of this life without you. Nothing even has to change. I think I just wanted you to know how much you meant to me.”
He was quiet for a moment.
“But, I’ll say it now so you can hear it too. I’m rusty in such matters, and arguably a little inexperienced. By today’s standards, at least. But I know, without a doubt in my heart, that I am in love with you, Michael. And if you will have me, I will want for no one else.”
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 5:50 pm
Sessrumnir finally looked up at Alastor when he breathed out sharply, concerned for a moment, but…
He didn’t look upset, or look like he realized there was a huge misunderstanding. Instead, he was saying things like how he would have loved him even if he didn’t--
How long had Devyn been in love with him? Was it just something he realized recently? Maybe when he’d had that dream, or…?
“I told my dad I liked you,” he blurted out, and immediately feeling stupid, because he was staring at Alastor and not sure what he was supposed to say. He wasn’t exactly that experienced in these matters.
“Before… I mean, obviously. We’d only just met, so of course he said I should slow down but-- I wanted him to know.”
He wasn’t sure what his dad would have thought now. Maybe still think he was going too fast. But Michael was pretty sure he knew back then that he was falling. And fast.
“I mean… yes. If you’re okay with that. Nothing has to change, like you said. But… yeah, you mean a lot to me.”
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