Welcome to Gaia! ::

The only silver lining to her promotion was that now she had the ability to teleport herself to and from the Dark Kingdom. No more made to feel guilty about having to bother other officers to taxi her back and forth. No longer a nuisance to others able to now come and go as she pleased.

Kind of…

A liberating freedom so desperately needed and yet even when she was out running errands using her glamor to hide her physical appearance, it was hard to ignore the proverbial shackle that kept her tethered to the dismal place. Every day a Cinderella story but at least it was something so Lavendulan supposed she should be thankful.

It kind of went without saying that she avoided the Castle for almost two weeks before returning to the office space she was using to work on the glamour project for Queen Laurelite. What should have taken a few months at best, was now at two years and her enthusiasm had diminished significantly.

Disheartened and dismayed, she returned to the space to clean everything up; all the dust off the ground, the chips of crystal from the countertops. To put the books away and transcribe the research she had done into digital notes so the paper copies could be thrown away.

Lavendulan had hoped that by re-reading some of her annotations, that it might spark another idea to try.

But in the end, although the room was more organized, she just felt mentally and physically exhausted. Would have been a nice reward to take a stroll around Destiny City, find a park or something; however, as she was, Laven wasn’t confident she’d be able to hold her glamour overlong and it was too early to work on gathering energy for her quota yet. Another hour or two and she could leave but for now, the small sofa adjacent to the office door looked incredibly inviting.

When Lavendulan initially sensed a Sovereign wandering the hallways, she thought nothing of it and continued on with her cleaning. Their presence was common enough around the castle, since this was after all where each of their offices was located, that she had often forgotten about them altogether.

Well, perhaps forgot was the wrong term to use since she was always aware they were there but more like a sensory white noise.

Rarely did anyone ever visit her office space anyway; first off it was temporary, but secondly her project wasn’t of high importance to anyone but herself. A means to pass the time with no set deadline. Still, she would have preferred to have had this particular problem solved years ago. However, circumstances as they were with her hiatus to take care of Wolframite after he was shot definitely delayed things.

Nonetheless, visitors were uncommon which was perhaps why it quite literally felt like her own heart just slam into the depths of her stomach when she heard the soft knock followed by a voice belonging to someone she wasn’t quite ready to face. Fight or flight wasn’t even a thing when every fiber in her body wanted to just teleport out and away.

s**t, s**t, s**t. She mentally hissed.

“I uh-” Laven at least attempted to speak but instead came out more like a timid squeak of a sound. Am indecent she wanted to say but this was neither a restroom nor locker room and would be quite odd and embarrassing to suddenly announce; especially since it would be quite false.

“Yes?” Her response was more of a question than confirmation.

Come in? Lavendulan felt both confused and conflicted by his question.

As a Sovereign, it was his right and privilege to go wherever whenever he pleased which is perhaps why it felt so strange to be asked permission to do something she honestly had no right to tell him not to. However, the thought did cross her mind to respond that she was indecent if only to delay the inevitable but this wasn’t a locker room or bedroom and would certainly raise unwanted questions and concerns.

To avoid the potential impromptu summon into his office she took one last glance around the office to make sure there wasn’t anything too oddly out of place before approaching the door, which had been unlocked, and opened it kind of hesitantly.

Axinite was like the sun after watching three hours of Lord of the Rings in a dark movie theater. Not brilliantly bright, but definitely difficult to look at; and so, as she stepped aside and motioned with her hand inviting him into the office space, Laven stared at the aglet on his left shoe as if it was the most fascinating, or perhaps offensive, thing.

“I was-” she stopped to clear her throat. “I was in the process of straightening up. I apologize for the mess.” Afterall, it was more like a lab than a standard office where one would focus on paperwork.

It was her space, at least for the duration of this project. However, she wondered what would become of it once she had finished or given up on it… Would it be given to someone else or could she still keep it and turn it into a proper office space maybe?

She liked the tools and gadgets that had come to fill this place and make it uniquely hers; it had a desk with a vertical inbox for files but had work stations that have so far suited her needs even if the end result did not match her hypothesis. Axinite had already see how far she’d made it with those crystal rings she’d handed to him last time they spoke. Since then, not much progress had been made.

“I’m…” Laven fell quiet. Her gaze raised from his shoe up to his arm; the one she knew she’d injured in her promotion.

Even if she wanted to, there was no way Laven could fake a smile. Guilt and shame weighed too heavily to allow her to achieve such a simple act. “I’m ok…”

“It was- my scales they- there are more now. That’s why I-” Hurt you… They did not appear by some form of magic, they formed beneath her skin and pushed outwards. Because of this unforeseen mutation she had attacked in retaliation of the pain. A desperate attempt to make it stop. A fruitless endeavor but she could not stop herself.

Lavendulan shook her head.

“No,” she spoke softly. Absently she raised a hand to scratch the back of her neck where those odd adolescent fins used to be. Now there were just scales there which she was partially glad for since those were likely a contributing factor as to why she was often mistaken as a fish-like half-youma.

“Along with the change in my physical features, my magic seems to have been affected as well.” While it would have been a blessing to have been granted the ability to her shift more often, the new change wasn’t something to turn her nose up at. “When I panic- teleported…” Lavendulan visibly winced at the memory which was still a bit hazy since she was at the peak of fight or flight mode. “I ended up back at the place where this all started; a place only Lopezite would’ve known where to find me…” The last was said much quieter suggesting that it was something she wanted to keep that way.

“When I inadvertently used my magic, it was as if I was able to somehow pull the water into myself and mend whatever injuries I sustained. It did nothing to replenish the energy used to get there or lessen the ache in my chest, but the physical wounds were gone.” Still, she had been tired, exhausted and after about an hour of emotional turmoil, starving.

“I wish I had remembered what happened when this first happened.” However, the promotion did serve to whiplash her mind back into that singular moment and reveal some details that she’d thought had been lost in the mix of the traumatic experience of essentially dying. It wasn’t enough to do a full-on investigation to find the one that had done this to her but was at least a starting point and something to look out for in future meetings. “At least then I could have been at least more prepared and maybe been able to stop myself from-”

Again she fell silent. Eyes full of remorse she looked at his sleeve where she knew there had been holes from where her claws cut through the fabric. “Is your arm ok?”

The teleport had been a mistake.

Pure fight or flight reaction to the situation she had awoken to. A strange room that carried the heavy scent of sterile cleaning supplies, with white walls and a countertop with things on it that were not her own.

When Lavendulan had tried to get out of bed her legs had gotten tangled in the all too-thin blanket that was likely there for modesty’s sake rather than to actually keep her warm. Then again, she was accustomed to cooler temperatures.

Even now she wasn’t entirely sure it was a conscious decision to teleport; all she recalled was the overwhelming desire to be anywhere but there, to get away, to be out in the open yet- not. She didn’t want a crowd of people, to be touched, to be overstimulated by conversation and lights.

What she needed was a palace to shut off all her senses.

Complete sensory deprivation where she could not hear the sounds of people in the hallway or feel them passing by if they were powered. Where darkness was an ally against the fluorescent lights above her and stave off that hellish purple glow that at times she had grown accustomed to but also hated with all her being. To be in an open place where she did not feel trapped like a spider beneath a plastic cup just waiting to be stepped on.

How she teleported was beyond her. But one moment she was in the room and the next, as the door slowly opened, she was laying at the bottom of the lake. Exhausted from the promotion, from the sudden relocation, from the barrage of memories she’d thought lost, from just life in general. Lavendulan laid there until Lopezite found her; the aches subsided slowly as voices in her head quieted to distant murmurs.

When Axinite mentioned being prepared for next time, she stiffened. It felt like her stomach just did a backflip, kicked her in the left lung in the process before sticking an ungraceful landing in her gut…

Hesitantly she shook her head and for the first time looked up at him. “No thank you.” She replied quietly. There was fear and regret in those glacial blue-slitted eyes and a feeling that by rejecting his offer her words would offend him, or worse… disappoint him. “It’s a risk I’m not willing to take.” Not now anyway… Perhaps if there was a need for it then she might consider but unless necessary then she would be content as a Captian until her days were done.

Lavendulan had become accustomed to being left alone. Even though her office door was kept unlocked, and sometimes open, unless she was away, it was rare if not unheard of for anyone to stop by. It wasn’t as if the Dark Kingdom was a place anyone could casually stop by for lunch or take a stroll about the castle.

There was a level of decorum to be maintained and it wasn’t as if the cafeteria food was all that great. That… and she could count on half a hand the number of friends she could rely on or talk to.

However, for reasons she couldn’t explain, Axinite’s words affected Lavendulan in a way she could not have anticipated.

The fragile flame flickered, grew twice the size, and filled her heart with a warmth that allowed her to offer him a small smile despite the unshed tears that half blurred her vision. Lopezite was the only other person she’d ever felt this way with. Emotionally weak and yet unashamed.

Her soul felt inexplicably lighter, less burdened by the weight of her own uncertainties. Axinite’s encouragement gave her immeasurable hope. He made her want to try harder and to succeed at completing the ring if only to make him proud of her small accomplishment.

She’d hug him if they were friends, but he was her Sovereign. Instead, Lavendulan bowed causing the tears to fall to the ground when she closed her eyes. “Thank you…”

“When I have something worth sharing I’ll come show you.” It might take time to get to that level of progression but she hoped he wouldn’t have to wait long for an update.

“Thank you for checking in on me.” Despite being a sovereign, Axinite had a great deal of compassion towards all other agents that served the Negaverse, not only the ones that served directly under him.

Kind yet terrifying with the signature that denoted his rank, but she was grateful nonetheless and would endeavor to try to find the courage to follow through with her own words and visit his office every once in a while even if there was little to show for the progress she’d made.